Symptomatic husband too 'busy' to get a test?!

[lifejusthappenss]

Dh had symptoms come on yesterday, new continuous cough and a fever. He's kept me up all night so far coughing so badly and woke up the baby

I work in a hospital and am well aware as he has symptoms I should self isolate until he has a test. Issue is dh is ridiculous and insists he hasn't got time to self isolate or miss work, he's travelling for conferences this week and has lots to do surely if you're travelling for work it's more important than ever to get a test and not become a super spreader across the UK!! I know he's worried the results won't come back in time but it's the right thing to do

Anyway we've just had an argument over it at 3am!! He said he was going to sleep downstairs so I can get a good sleep for work and I said I won't be going to work in the hospital with you like this until you've you've been tested and he scoffed that there's no chance. So what do I do if he refuses? Besides me thinking he's massively unreasonable putting other people at risk because he's too 'important' I also feel he's putting me in a difficult position at work? I'm not going into a hospital if someone I live with shows symptoms but will have to be off the full 10 days if he doesn't test?

I can't imagine what kind of business would be holding in-person conferences at the moment? Is it an outdoor conference?

Cuntryhouse
Just book you both tests.
Why? OP doesn't have symptoms

Because the major problem with covid is that you can carry, and spread it, before developing symptoms. I can’t believe some people still do know this given the amount of publicity.

Book a test for yourself. If he has it, you'll have it. Then you can argue he needs to self isolate (and inform his employer even if he has set off). They will send him home as he will present a huge risk to the company and its reputation.

He's in denial

Wont he routinely need a negative rest to go to a conference or stay in a hotel? My ndn works for a government agency and they have regular tests routinely before going to the office or anywhere for work., ie twice weekly

Two of my ndn's, one in her 50's and one in her 40's won't have vaccinations, so people are still behaving irrationally despite the statistics.

We had a client who’s wife tested positive he then travelled in from Richmond to Central London using the bus and the tube for two days without telling us about his wife
He is a vile selfish self entitled knob
Luckily no one at work was affected but I cannot vouch for the poor people on the tube and bus

I get that lft are not as accurate as pcr, but doing 1 or 2 this morning is better than total refusal imo. Chances are it will be accurate if he does 2? If not they are a pointless waste of plastic really aren't they?

I think he will wake up this morning (that’s if he even got any sleep due to his cough!) and decide it’s a good idea to test.

I know someone like this too. He would refuse a test as work is priority. But I think would eventually come round.

Isolate from him, don’t let him see your baby. Let him have harsh consequences at home in order for him to wake up.

Men like this need consequences to realise they’re pricks!! Otherwise they’ll carry on swanning around, thinking they’re better or more important than anyone else....with their heads still up their own arse!!

@skodadoda

*Cuntryhouse Just book you both tests. Why? OP doesn't have symptoms*

Because the major problem with covid is that you can carry, and spread it, before developing symptoms. I can’t believe some people still do know this given the amount of publicity.

You do not book a PCR test when not symptomatic yourself.

Everyone in the house isolates until the test from the symptomatic person comes back. If positive, everyone then carries on SI until time is up (10 days from first symptoms)

A negative test, when you have been in regular household contact, does not relieve you of the need to SI as you could still be incubating it. It's worrying that this is still not properly understood.

Conferences can’t go ahead at the moment.

Meetings, education and training for up to 30 can providing that they are socially distanced in a Covid Secure venue and that it is essential it takes place face to face and can’t be achieved by any other means (zoom).

He should also be signing a health declaration to attend these meetings if they’re in a covid secure venue stating that he doesn’t have covid-19, and will give his details for test and trace.

Tell him from me what he is doing is selfish and reckless. And if he is going to external meetings or hotels he should be ashamed, that’s someone else’s livelihood at risk, someone who is operating at massively reduced capacity to keep you safe. The person who serves you lunch or shows you to your seat. Pure selfish behaviour.

OP go and get the test.

I do understand it properly. But for a 50 mile journey I would be testing the whole household. I don't care if you don't agree.

op - if you work in a hospital, don't you have a whole box of LFtests in the house? You know, for your twice weekly testing?

As others have said, lfts shouldn't be used if someone is symptomatic. Also, not all hospital staff are having Lfts - some are having PCR tests, a small number having saliva tests, both of which need to be processed by a laboratory.

Went downstairs this morning for him to tell me he's booked a test, very begrudgingly and he seems annoyed at me that he's having to! Not sure how it's my fault, but whatever. He's got a blocked nose now and is using that as a reason why I'm stupid because "it's clearly a cold".

Covid or not, no-one is going to want to be at a conference with him coughing like that. He’s a selfish idiot, I’d be absolutely furious if he’s stopping you going to work and prepared to put so many people at risk

apparently we don't 'have covid here'
But he travels for work. Not too bright is he?

Tbh I’d lose any respect I had for anyone who did this, let alone my DH. I’m hoping you haven’t replied for a while because you are driving him to the test centre.

Wrt to your job. I’d call in to let them know I was isolating as DH had symptoms and hope that added the pressure on him to go and get the test.

I would check again about test centres, we are in a rural area and for most of the last year have had to travel nearly an hour to get to the nearest test centre. Had to do a couple of PCR tests in the last few weeks and there are several small test centres set up nearby now that were in really random places (cricket club, farm barn, community centre etc) - all about 15 minutes away. Tons of appointments, lots of choice. We tested in the morning and had the results back by the evening.

X post. Well at least he’s getting the test.
Don’t accept any ‘blame’ from him. It’s no ones fault! It’s just one of those things. He sounds very immature.

Well of course you invented coronavirus and are keeping him from his man job.

Really glad he’s booked a test.
I had a blocked nose when I had covid. It then turned into me losing my sense of smell for several days, so the suggestion that if you have cold symptoms you don’t have covid is very out of date.

Fingers crossed it’s just a mild case and that you stay symptom-free.

LFT will most probably give an accurate result given that he’s got symptoms - the issue is with them not picking up Covid in asymptomatic cases. I went for a drive thru test last week and got the result within 12 hours.

Where are these conferences?
All our UK and international ones have been moved online

I disagree with LFT - they can still return an unacceptably high level of false negatives, even among the symptomatic, and that is why they should not be used of symptoms are present.

Oh god hearing this makes me absolutely terrified. I’m currently in a high risk pregnancy after multiple late miscarriages. I have a particular condition where if I were to catch covid I would be very very likely to lose this baby. The doctor I’m seeing to treat this is on the other side of the country, so even though I’m completely shielding the rest of the time, I do have to go on very long drives for appointments and need to stop at service stations along the way for a wee/break. The thought that there are irresponsible twats like your husband out and about not giving a shit about others is so upsetting. I know I can’t 100% avoid risks, but I would have hoped at least people who had symptoms would do their part for people like me for whom this virus is still a very real risk.

That's great he's booked a test. Hope you get the results quickly.

It is good he is getting a test.

When things are better op perhaps a conversation around the fact that no one is too important or busy to consider the impact of walking around with covid and potentially killing someone else.

That is not okay.

At least he has booked a test. He must have some niggle at the back of his mind that he may have Covid.