To be mad I’m being paid back really slowly?

[crazykoo124]

One of my close friends borrowed £1000 from me last year promising to return it. She’s been my friend since early childhood so I had no problem in doing so.

She’s now paying me back £50/month for 20 months? I said that this is annoying as I’d like the lump sum back but she just laughed and said that she’s already worked out the finances for it.

I know I should’ve been bolder and said actually no but I genuinely didn’t have the guts to do so. I’ve told my husband and he’s raging and I’m quite angry too now. He does have a littleeee bit of a short fuse so I’m just wondering.... are we being unreasonable? And would you be ok to be paid back this slowly when you gave her the lump sum within 24 hours.

Also, don’t get work done on your house by friends or family members.

I'm another who (stupidly) twice loaned over £1k - once to a 'friend' and once to a relative .... never got anything back.

It's a hard lesson to learn but never loan a sum if you can't afford to lose it.

You DONT have a right to be cross

YABU to be “mad” when you didn’t agree repayment terms before you lent the money. If she’s offering money I’d take it; you’ve only got to look at money-related threads on here to see how many lend money and don’t get it back. It’s up to you to put it aside so you have a lump sum at the end if you can’t trust yourself not to spend £50.

YANBU she’s a cheeky fucker.

She’d be a former friend and I’d tell her that unless she paid it back in full within 14 days I’d commence legal proceedings. She may also be given time to pay then but she also risks a court judgment against her name which won’t help her finances

Set up a savings account in a credit union or premium bonds as they are slightly more effort to get out and transfer it to that .If your friend needed to borrow from you she is probably just as likely as you to spend it herself if she doesnt pay it to you on a monthly basis .

@Karwomannghia

Also, don’t get work done on your house by friends or family members.

You sound like me! all the lessons learnt the hard way. I had a friend of my dad's knock my kitchen and sitting room in to one and he did do a good job and I'm not complaining. He only charged me for materials and I'm so grateful. But he got a paid job after knocking a tv sized hole in the wall and then I didn't see him for about four months! So we sat there all winter with a hole in the wall, contemplating how nice the job would be when it was finished! That wasn't a financial tale of woe though. Just embarrassing, to have a hole in the wall for so long.

I would put it in a separate savings account so you can keep track of it. 20 months is a long time to forget about how much she's paid back and I think she'll end up short changing you.

YABU.

You should have thought about what you wanted first and told her before giving her the money.

It's not fair to give someone money then change the conditions for them to pay it back.

The fact she needed £1k off you is an indication she may not be the best with money. So why expect her to save £1k to pay you back?

Just set up a standing order of £50 to go to your savings account every month.

Also OP you need to grow a pair . She’s getting away with this because you’re a pushover and she knows it.

Yep! You’re bottom of the pile so it takes months and you can’t complain because it’s awkward even if they do a shit job or over charge. Worth the money to get someone in who you can raise issues with without feeling like you’re going to offend them. Mates rates is not worth it!

@RedcurrantPuff

YANBU she’s a cheeky fucker.

She’d be a former friend and I’d tell her that unless she paid it back in full within 14 days I’d commence legal proceedings. She may also be given time to pay then but she also risks a court judgment against her name which won’t help her finances

The op didn’t agree any terms . She’s paying her back just not what the op wants .

She is being cheeky but regardless of how close the friend is, never lend more than you can afford to lose. And as others have said, agree repayment terms before you handover the money. Although she may well have agreed to whatever terms you asked for to secure the loan.

I would have no problem if a very good friend paid me back £50 a month. I wouldn't lend any more money until the original loan had been paid back. It may be easier for her to pay per month so she is not tempted to spend it!

out of sheer curiosity - does anyone here use paperwork/agreements when lending friends money??

i wouldn't lend more than about a hundred quid - but if i did, to be sure there would be a written and signed agreement about when it was to be repaid before it was handed over.

TBH i wouldn't lend more than a few quid to a friend, it is a sure-fire way to break a relationship

What would have annoyed me most about this is her laughing when you asked for the money sooner. Why does she find this funny? She’s taking the piss.

In hindsight you should’ve asked her at the start what her plans were for repaying it, so you at least had a verbal agreement. I wouldn’t have got a written agreement off a friend, I would’ve trusted them to keep to their word. However, it’s easy to pass judgement with the benefit of hindsight.

Keep to the plan and get her to set up a direct debit into a separate savings account for you, and treat yourself at the end.

And don’t ever lend her money again.

@crazykoo124

Just to add - I told her that she can save the £50 a month for 20 months and in 20 months she can transfer the £1000 to me directly. As I know that I won’t ever see the £50 it’ll just be spent - receiving £1000 means I will put it away or spend it on something bigger like a getaway

Don’t do this OP or you’ll never see the lump sum £1000 in 20 months time I can promise you. Just let her carry on paying in instalments of £50 a month and once she’s paid it all off, cool off the friendship, never lend her money again (without specifying exact terms for repayment) or better still, don’t lend it.

When it comes to money lending, be mentally prepared that any money you lend to a flaky friend will probably never get back to you so prepared to write it off and never ever lend again. Something I’ve always learnt in life.

@crazykoo124

Just to add - I told her that she can save the £50 a month for 20 months and in 20 months she can transfer the £1000 to me directly. As I know that I won’t ever see the £50 it’ll just be spent - receiving £1000 means I will put it away or spend it on something bigger like a getaway

Don’t do this OP or you’ll never see the lump sum £1000 in 20 months time I can promise you. Just let her carry on paying in instalments of £50 a month and once she’s paid it all off, cool off the friendship, never lend her money again (without specifying exact terms for repayment) or better still, don’t lend it.

When it comes to money lending, be mentally prepared that any money you lend to a flaky friend will probably never get back to you so prepared to write it off and never ever lend again. Something I’ve always learnt in life.

She should take a loan out to pay you off and then repay her bank debt of £50 per month. It will cost her more cash but seems fairer

I’d ask for the lump sum by July 1st saying you need the whole amount and ask her to take a loan out if this doesn’t work for her

[quote crazykoo124]@jessstan2 out of sheer curiosity - does anyone here use paperwork/agreements when lending friends money??[/quote]
I don’t lend money to friends if I can’t afford it.

If I can afford it, then I expect them to pay me back as and when, because clearly, they can’t afford to pay me back in a lump sum, or they wouldn’t be borrowing money from me in the first place...

It’s cheeky but what can you do? Absolutely nothing, unfortunately. You can demand the lump sum all you want but then you run the risk of her not paying you back at all.

@Saltyslug

She should take a loan out to pay you off and then repay her bank debt of £50 per month. It will cost her more cash but seems fairer

How is this fairer? Fairer to whom?

What would have annoyed me most about this is her laughing when you asked for the money sooner. Why does she find this funny? She’s taking the piss.

I would have laughed too because I would assume the OP was joking. She obviously doesn’t have the entire money sooner which is why she had to borrow it in the first place.

Also some people have mentioned court proceedings which will be a waste of time. Yeah you could get a CCJ against her but if she can’t pay more than £50 a month the court will agree for her to continue those repayments (or she could offer less!) so you will have gained precisely nothing by doing this.