To be mad I’m being paid back really slowly?

[crazykoo124]

One of my close friends borrowed £1000 from me last year promising to return it. She’s been my friend since early childhood so I had no problem in doing so.

She’s now paying me back £50/month for 20 months? I said that this is annoying as I’d like the lump sum back but she just laughed and said that she’s already worked out the finances for it.

I know I should’ve been bolder and said actually no but I genuinely didn’t have the guts to do so. I’ve told my husband and he’s raging and I’m quite angry too now. He does have a littleeee bit of a short fuse so I’m just wondering.... are we being unreasonable? And would you be ok to be paid back this slowly when you gave her the lump sum within 24 hours.

@SherbrookeFosterer

Just be grateful she is paying you back.

Lending money to friends and family can be a nightmare.

I agree 😂 especially family, they never pay you back or bother to until you remind them or say you need it back! They keep it as long as possible. I don’t mind lending money to my close friend(s) or family if they’re in a difficult situation but to lend it for silly reasons or very often, it annoys me! I also hate reminding people to pay me back because it’s so embarrassing!

@Mummabug18, why do you suggest the friend has no legal obligation to pay back what she agrees was a repayable loan?

What's with all the "be grateful she's paying you back" and "you're lucky she's paying you back"

Seriously?? This was a loan, whilst I agree that OP perhaps should have been clearer - she doesn't have to be "grateful" or "feel lucky" - the woman owes the money!

@crazykoo124

Just to add - I told her that she can save the £50 a month for 20 months and in 20 months she can transfer the £1000 to me directly. As I know that I won’t ever see the £50 it’ll just be spent - receiving £1000 means I will put it away or spend it on something bigger like a getaway

Maybe she's not good with money hence needing the loan in the first place. Can't you set up your own saving account and ask her to transfer the monthly payments directly to a saving account, that way you won't be spending

@Nith Because... Theres no written agreement that the money was to be repaid. A judge would likely order in OPs favour as it's probably a large amount to OP (not a millionaire) and she certainly now the friend has started repaying but, essentially, it's ones word against the other.

[quote Nith]@Mummabug18, why do you suggest the friend has no legal obligation to pay back what she agrees was a repayable loan?[/quote]
Really? Where’s the legally binding contract for that?

@spongedog

Please document this payment arrangement with her, by email at least. So she has agreed to repay you £50 per month for 20 months. So no interest? Specify that.

However I would include a paragraph that states that if her circumstances change financially and she is able to - then give examples - go on holiday, buy a car, move, go out for the evening - then interest becomes payable on the debt at X% per annum (you determine X).

Also include a line that she can repay you earlier and by lump sum at any time if her circumstances change (quote above).

Hopefully that might stop her going out rather than repaying you.

Or she might she might just wonder what kind of friend tries to charge interest on an amount after, not only the loan has been made but, repayments have already commenced.

Supposed to be a friend not a loan shark! 😡

Thanks, thought my reason was obvious, lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Bluntness100

I can’t see the issue here or why folks are accusing her of she will miss payments or stop,paying, she borrowed money she’s paying it back, it’s all good.

Op just transfer fifty quid a month into another account, honestly it really doesn’t need to be such a big deal. It’s all so dramatic.

👌🏻

I would feel the same as you op. You were being kind, helping out a friend, the last thing you wuld be thinking about is paperwork. If i lent a grand i would be expecting a grand back in one payment but clearly she can't do that. Could you put the monthly money into the credit union or something like that, that way you are unlikely to spend it as you get it.

Over 20 years ago I lent a very close friend £1000 to pay his rent as I didn’t want to see him homeless and lose his council property.

I never saw a penny of it back. I never put pressure on him regarding payments and when I began to call him, he just didn’t answer his phone. I even left messages saying it was ok if he was having problems paying the money back, but if he could at least get in contact with me.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, never heard from him again, couldn’t get hold of him and never got a penny back. After that experience I never ever lend money.

[quote Mummabug18]@Nith Because... Theres no written agreement that the money was to be repaid. A judge would likely order in OPs favour as it's probably a large amount to OP (not a millionaire) and she certainly now the friend has started repaying but, essentially, it's ones word against the other.[/quote]
Whether there is or is not a legal obligation is a different question from the question whether that obligation can be enforced. An agreement doesn't have to be in writing to be a legally binding contract.

So far as evidence of the debt is concerned, the fact that the friend starts repaying is some evidence, and we don't know what other witnesses and evidence there may be. The very fact that you accept a judge would probably find in OP's favour demonstrates an acceptance that a loan is a legally enforceable debt.

Really? Where’s the legally binding contract for that?

An oral contract is legally binding. It might be difficult to evidence, but it is binding.

I strongly advise you to take whatever you can get when you can get it as you never know when all payments will stop.

@Sudoku88

I strongly advise you to take whatever you can get when you can get it as you never know when all payments will stop.

Completely agree. This happened to my DH under similar circumstances - a loan to help his friend out of a similarly awful situation.

His friend just quietly withdrew from their friendship and never paid him back. My DH is more sad about the friendship he lost but I think his friend was just too embarrassed. He knew deep down that he'd basically stolen £1000 from his oldest mate.

And to the person who criticised the comment that the OP should be grateful to get anything back - that's clearly a figure of speech. The inference being, given some of our experiences here, if she gets the entire sum back within the £50 per month timeframe, with no long delays or payment holidays, that will be a positive outcome.

I don't think you should be grateful your friend is paying you back, but think you are being really unreasonable if you're being arsey over the difference between £50 a month (which you can easily put into another account, or better still your friend can set up a standing order to the new account so you do nothing) and a lump sum on 20 months.

If it was purely the time frame then I'd have some sympathy with you (even if things should be clear when the loan was agreed), but you're happy with a lump sum in 20 months so it makes no sense. If I've missed an update the apologies.

"Would PROBABLY find in the OPs favour" is purely circumstantial.

• "According to UK law, verbal contracts are binding where two or more parties agree on SERVICES to be performed and on remuneration for said services. However, verbal contracts DO NOT apply to certain types of agreements which require detailed and specific terms."

• "Any contracts including a guarantee must also be prepared in writing in order to be valid and legally binding."

• "Firstly, in order to be LEGALLY BINDING and upheld in court, verbal contracts must be complete. In other words, the parties must have determined and agreed to all of the terms and conditions with respect to the services offered and remuneration."

The words "Can I borrow £XX" are NOT legally binding. Any repayments made and other circumstantial evidence would only sway a judge to order it be repaid if friend stopped doing so, NOT make the ORIGINAL VERBAL AGREEMENT legally binding!

So no, it would NOT automatically make it a legally enforceable debt. The judge would do the IF other measures were not taken via a solicitor to collect FIRST.

Well...you probably already know this but you should have agreed repayment terms in advance...if she's skint the likelihood is she won't be able to repay it all instantly. Asking her to keep saving the 50 until she can repay you the full amount is also a terrible idea, she either won't do it/keep putting it off, or when she's saved the amount find it too hard to hand it over (or some large expense could occur for which it will be needed).

Take the 50, let her know you'd like it back sooner if possible - and hugely chalk this one down to experience!!

The fact that she is regularly paying the loan back, I'd be more than happy. Unless she has the full available cash to repay. Don't get me wrong, if she started booking a holiday or buying a new car I'd be might.

Seeing as it wasn't specified at the time you lent her the money, I think her paying you £50 a month is reasonable, especially if that is what she can afford. Like others have said, at least she is being responsible and has organised a way to pay you back the full amount!

I don't see why you would want her to save it all to give you as a lump sum, definitely easier and makes more sense for you to save it to one side if thats what you want.

She is paying you back and that is what is important. Make it clear from the off next time if you have stipulations for how it is paid back.

Probably already been said but you need to get her to set up a standing order to go to a specific savings account every month, that way you also have clear evidence of all the payments and can ensure none are missed. You really should have discussed how/when it would be paid back before lending though. Guess you’ve learnt a lesson there.