To use mumsnet secretly

[WiganNorthWest]

I don’t tell anyone irl that I’m on here. Not sure why, probably because mumsnet has a bit of a bad reputation in my circles/is thought of as a bit embarrassing/petty and transphobic. Do most people admit to being on here/ talk about it with friends and family. I’ve never posted anything I’m ashamed of
Yabu- I’m a proud mumsnetter
Yanbu-I’m a secret mumsnetter

Also-how would you feel if you were ‘outed’

DH knows I’m on mumsnet.

I tend to avoid mentioning it to friends / acquaintances, but mainly because I don’t want to worry about them stalking me on mumsnet and seeing any personal stuff I may have posted.

Neither proud nor secret. It’s just never come up. Mostly come here for the Feminism board these days, as it appears to be one of the few places online with an abundance of rational discussion on trans issues, which clearly makes it a target for those with an interest in smearing it.

DP knows I'm on here but doesn't know I post. He doesn't think I have enough confidence. No one else knows I'm on here because I don't have any friends anyway

I keep it quiet as otherwise I’d bore my family to death with ‘I read on MN.....’

@Mistressinthetulips

Not going to comment on the transphobic bit except to say that mumsnet is seen as transphobic-by pp, Twitter and people in real life. I don’t visit those boards and stick to dogs, chat/more lighthearted areas. So basically OP, you started a thread making a serious accusation against the forum you are a member of based on no personal evidence at all? Wow. I believe the dog threads are full of cat-haters. No I've never been on one, but someone posted that on twatter so it must be true

Eh? What are you getting your knickers in a twist about? Some people do find MN transphobic. Here are a few of them:

www.huckmag.com/perspectives/opinion-perspectives/mumsnet-transphobia-online/

www.vice.com/en/article/a3mn9k/mumsnet-uk-mom-forum-terf-transphobia-feminism

theoutline.com/post/6536/british-feminists-media-transphobic

Whether you agree or not is of no importance as the above links are only opinions. They are not fact.

I don’t really get the ‘not liking Mumsnet’.. it’s not a hive mind. It’s not a newspaper or blog with a paid editorial team taking a specific line. It’s just normal people (women usually) talking to each other if they want to. Or not if they don’t.
Doesn’t mean others who disagree can’t join in with their own points. And obviously engaging at all is not compulsory.

MN is also extremely restrictively monitored- way more than the BTL comments underneath newspaper articles for example. So I don’t get people being bothered by it, it’s carefully maintained to be inoffensive even if it’s not some people’s cup of tea. If you ignore the sexism and ageism in those critical articles I am still struggling to see why they are so concerned about women speaking to each other online.

Yeah it's really transphobic to want to protect women's sex based rights & prevent children being given life altering drugs..... 🙄🙄🙄

Well I've inly ever had 2 people mansplain to me that MN is transphobic / mean. And frankly I don't even know if either of them had actually ever been on here. So I give not one shiny shit about their opinions.
Not embarrassed. No reason to be.

@WiganNorthWest

I do wonder when I read totally ridiculous/unnecessarily rude posts who on earth these people are and if they would admit to people in real life what they are doing. Like do they say to their husband “one second darling I’m just calling some stranger I don’t know a sanctimonious twat on a forum about tea towels”.

Makes me think of this

I’m out and proud. I often try to explain to people that the range of topics is very wide and the calibre of chat is much higher than they might imagine. DH gets it, he’ll dip his toe in now and again. Even my childless brother enjoys a good CF thread. Both find it comes up in Google search results a lot. However I would not tell them my username and would probably avoid showing them any thread that I had contributed to in case they worked it out.

tell no one

apart from family, when i recommend a film that has been recommended here.

I've been very surprised at how widespread the perception that MN is transphobic is. I didn't realise people regard it so negatively.

I'm surprised at how few people admit to being on Mumsnet. Why?

Yes there are some quite petty posts sometimes (that can often turn hilarious), but there are some really illuminating threads too.

I was at my parents recently and my mum passed me an article she thought I'd be interested in. I can't remember the exact details, but I remember telling her that there was a recent Mumsnet post about the same thing that was much more illuminating!

@ShrikeAttack

This is actually the most woman positive place on the Internet. Why wouldn't I use it and openly signpost other women to it?

I have Social worker and health visitor friends that I suggest guide women here. It's a brilliant resource.

This.

I’m proud to be here and like the way that most MNers prioritise women and children’s rights.

I absolutely third that.

I’m proud to be associated with MN and I’m extremely proud to be a feminist who centres women and children. If your feminism centres penis then it’s not feminism.

(Not to start an argument, but it needed to be said)

Dh, my dc and dsis know I'm on here. It hasn't occurred to me to mention it to anyone else tb, and I have no idea if anyone else I know is on here, nor what reputation they might think MN has. I am GC, but I don't discuss that irl with anyone other than dh either.

If your feminism centres penis then it’s not feminism

Oh for goodness' sake. Including trans women in your feminism is not "centring penis".

Approximately half of the children being ‘centred’ have a penis

@peachgreen

If your feminism centres penis then it’s not feminism

Oh for goodness' sake. Including trans women in your feminism is not "centring penis".

I am not alluding to anything here. I’m commenting on any instance of centring penis (which is the very definition of patriarchy).

If I’m saying something I’ll say it straight out so no need to put words in my mouth, thanks.

🤔

But, just in case anyone needs to be made aware, here is an example of what potentially happens down the line when you do centre penis in the specific way that pp referred to:

Female prisoners will be put at great risk, with no consent

@peachgreen don’t even try to say ‘I told you, that’s all you care about’ — you brought it up and I am responding.

I don't bother to tell anyone I'm on MN because I'm an American and it's pretty much unheard of here. I found out about it a few years ago because there was a short article in The Economist about it.

Sorry, what? I brought up what? You seem to be responding to an imaginary conversation.

I'm a feminist. I include trans women in my feminism. That's all I said.

Does your feminism include trans men then? Or not? I would think anyone born female would be included in feminism. So it would be women, trans men, and trans women?