To use mumsnet secretly

[WiganNorthWest]

I don’t tell anyone irl that I’m on here. Not sure why, probably because mumsnet has a bit of a bad reputation in my circles/is thought of as a bit embarrassing/petty and transphobic. Do most people admit to being on here/ talk about it with friends and family. I’ve never posted anything I’m ashamed of
Yabu- I’m a proud mumsnetter
Yanbu-I’m a secret mumsnetter

Also-how would you feel if you were ‘outed’

@expectopelargonium

It's never occurred to me to tell anybody I'm on MN.

Same here

I've had robust responses here.

But women in real distress are treated kindly and given brilliant and no-nonsense advice.

I agree OP, long time lurker, comment on and off, I am often appalled at what I see, but sometimes I also really like what I see.
It is, after all, a very varied community.
I am not going to argue with anyone about the transphobia .
As far as I am concerned it is obvious and you don't see it, you either can't read or you don't want to see it, and nothing I can say will convince you otherwise.
And, like all SM, it's full of people who like nothing better than to tear someone apart, safe in the knowledge that it's all anonymous.
It can be a viper nest, but it can be fun and informative too.

IF you don't see it

I've been here for 15 years. It's changed, obviously, but it's always been pro-women.

Wanting safe spaces for women and girls is not transphobic despite what toxic Twitter says.

DH used to say "I suppose you read that on Mumsnet" a lot but has given up now!

@Doona

Love to see some examples of transphobia if anyone has any?

There are so many. For example a thread on feminist chat at the monent:
Douglas Murray scathing about trans ideology

DM is just some random journalist ranting about trans ideology. Nothing in the way of evidence or analysis, basically just says it is stupid and distressing at length. He's also male, and anti feminist. Yet, people are lining up to celebrate him on feminist chat. Why? Last week it was Jordan Peterson, who has actually come out and denied the existence of the patriarchy. But he's anti-trans so he's celebrated on the "feminist" board.

I've been reading that thread on DM and no one is celebrating him I don't think?

I saw people saying they disagreed with him on various points but happened to agree with him on the trans stuff he wrote about in that particular article. HTH

I lurked on here for a long time, after my um said something about mumsnet- she had heard on the radio and randomly got me curious, I came off any kind of SM a few years ago and got bored, so I Googled mumsnet, was surprised you could access everything without bring a "member"

After lurking for a few months, there would be posts that peaked my interest, so I ended up "joining"

I've named changed a few times, because I've read threads about people being "recognised" and that sets me off a little bit paranoid, because in my own head, I think - who else really would be on here except for me?

But in answer to the ops question, nobody IRL knows I'm on here, except for prehaps DP when i mentioned a few threads in passing (and his reaction was not positive) but then begs the question- if im on here, quietly, how many other people that I may know are on here too?
Hence the regular name changes.

I have to say though, I wish I had found mumsnet 10+ years ago, I have learned so much in such a short space of time, it could have saved me alot of heartbreak, some stern talking to, some real advice.

I have mentioned it in comments to do with parenting to a few men who said oh what's that about
I wouldn't care what people thought or felt I think it can be useful, insightful or completely insane- all that the parenting world entails.
No shame in something I like to see nor care about my image, until I am blocked on here ☺️

I'm exactly the same op I'd never admit to anyone that I'm on here!

I've not told anybody, we don't talk about that kind of thing,

YANBU. DH and one friend know that I use Mumsnet, but nobody else. I'm definitely not posh enough for the stereotypical user!

yanbu
shameful

Yabu. Why does it matter what anyone else thinks?

And the world has gone barking mad when it's taken as normal that teens access horrible misogynistic violent porn but women shouldn't look at a parenting site.

YABU, OP. The few people I know who use it all share the funny AIBU threads - even those who you suggest wouldn't like it for ideological reasons.

No I don't tell anyone I'm on Mumsnet. I've posted on here for advice in difficult situations and also responded to people hoping I can help them. I've shared more on here than I have with the few friends I have as I feel I won't be judged and there's always someone who has been through something similar (unlike the friends I have who seem to have good marriages - but who knows, they might be posting on here too and I might not know!).

I used to read in secret.

Then I challenged my internalised misogyny.

There's nowhere else like it. Female lead. Men are allowed of course, and that's great, but they never manage to dominate.

The lazy accusations of "transphobia" are at the best boring and at the worst really doing a disservice to women and trans people by perpetuating the narrative that their rights must necessarily clash.

I am a proud Mumsnetter! Happy to say to my DH or friends "I was reading this thread on mumsnet which said that...."

I recommend Mumsnet to women for FWR (Feminist Chat). It’s where I learned about feminism back in 2015ish.

I often ask for advice on things I don't want to talk about irl, for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes I just want people to talk to and don't want to bother my friends at 3/4am (good old insomnia!). It's an amazing support to me and I probably wouldn't be so open if people knew I was on it so I don't mention it and personally quite like having a safe space so to speak. Each to their own though :)

The only thing I'm a bit embarrassed about is how much time I spend on here but not the site itself, which is awesome!

My Dd’s saw and tease me, I wouldn’t admit it to anyone else.

No one else business I guess.

I did once have a friend, who when I mentioned using Pinterest, said she was going to try and find out my user name, so that she could have a look at my Pinterest, and laugh.

Sadly for her, I just saved the odd picture I liked, or thought I might have a go as a craft, I wasn’t into creating a beautiful Pinterest spread, like a hobby or lifestyle thing.

I thought she was a bit odd and unpleasant to be honest. Definitely bonkers.

I don't tell people IRL that I'm on Mumsnet but that's because I don't want them to come on here looking for me, not because I'm ashamed of Mumsnet. I also silently judge people who take the piss out of it - I always think, if your go-to assumption about women, particularly mothers, talking together, is that it will be twee or overly conservative or gossipy then that says more about your internalised misogyny than it does about Mumsnet.

I'm not embarrassed about using mn but i have noticed a certain reaction when i mention to anyone that i saw x on mn. They kind of balk! The last person exclaimed "what on EARTH are you doing on there?!". I've decided anyone with such a visceral reaction is doing that because they are also a poster and worried they'll get outed