To use mumsnet secretly

[WiganNorthWest]

I don’t tell anyone irl that I’m on here. Not sure why, probably because mumsnet has a bit of a bad reputation in my circles/is thought of as a bit embarrassing/petty and transphobic. Do most people admit to being on here/ talk about it with friends and family. I’ve never posted anything I’m ashamed of
Yabu- I’m a proud mumsnetter
Yanbu-I’m a secret mumsnetter

Also-how would you feel if you were ‘outed’

I’m a secret MN user.
I’ve found it very helpful and I just ignore the crappy bits !

I've been on here for over a decade and have lotsvof RL friends because of being on here.

I’m a secret user - but primarily because it just doesn’t come up in conversation?

I don’t tell people IRL that I’m on Mumsnet but that’s because I don’t want them to come on here looking for me, not because I’m ashamed of Mumsnet.

Exactly this. Dh and dd know I’m on it and my username. I’ve told one friend but played down the frequency I use it. She uses it as a resource as well but doesn’t have much time so I doubt she posts a lot if at all. Idk if she’s officially registered. This is my safe space so to speak albeit I know it isn’t a safe space as it’s an open forum.

I’m very open about it, I even give my user name and encourage others to use the site, I don’t get the issue or reason to hide it.

I do think you’re unreasonable to ask for voting when you don’t actually know how to do that. 😂

@DateLoaf

I mention it as a place for useful information, and don't make a secret of it.

Same here. Every pregnant woman I know I let them know how useful it is.

Same here been using it over 15 years. I still quote mumnset about stuff.

I really don't understand why people are embarrassed or care what people think of them? Genuinely why are you embarrassed?

I really love it here, but only DH knows that I'm a MNer. If you put a lot of my posts together you could likely figure out who I am if you wanted to, and also I like appearing very knowledgeable about a lot of things, of course people don't know where I get it from!

@WiganNorthWest Like do they say to their husband “one second darling I’m just calling some stranger I don’t know a sanctimonious twat on a forum about tea towels”.
I love you for this.

@Bluntness100

I’m very open about it, I even give my user name and encourage others to use the site, I don’t get the issue or reason to hide it.

I do think you’re unreasonable to ask for voting when you don’t actually know how to do that. 😂

I agree about the vote. And misuse of AIBU to use the vote function in general.

Years ago DS2 went to his mate’s house and told mate’s Mum about MN. Said ‘My Mum’s on there her name is Sparklingbrook’

@MrsG30

I’m a secret user - but primarily because it just doesn’t come up in conversation?

It never comes up in any conversations I have either. Nobody ever asks ‘what websites do you go on’.

Mumsnet, collectively, is far better informed and witty than my friends. Hurrah for it and its users. Not a secret.

I use Mumsnet and don't care who knows in real life. But then I also don't agree that it's transphobic or embarrassing, I see it has a lot of people sticking up for the rights of women and young girls in the Feminism section.

Ive told people that it is a good place for advice. I don't care whether people know I am on here or not, but I don't go around telling people my username, so they're unlikely to spot me.

I am really embarrassed about being an actual user and would never tell anyone in real life that I am! Me and my friend would in the past browse AIBU for funny stories because some people are v entertaining but never would I have expected I would join! I would never tell her. I have the app and it's hidden on my phone even though I'm here most days.

I think of it as totally different websites depending on the board. I'm feminist but the feminism boards look like a hateful cesspit frankly, I find them horrible and draining and not the conversations I would have with friends. I've personally had some really kind advice on other boards. It would be interesting to see a Myers-Briggs type indicator but made up of people's 4 most commonly frequented boards!

@Hotelhelp

Good question OP.

I have never told anyone I use MN but I think in my case it’s because I don’t have any friends therefore I use MN in place of friendships and I’m embarrassed by that.

Same here, so I find it v useful to gauge my peers' opinions / ideas etc

@PrinnyPree

YANBU the transphobia is embarrassing, however I found it really useful during TTC, my pregnancy and post-partum for info and reassurance.

I do sometimes guiltily end up reading through the LTB type threads though, my heart goes out to what some people have had to put up with (and know that could have been me if I'd have stayed with my first DP). X

Ah the irony. Doesn't like the emphasis on women's sex based rights but happy to have a group of women to talk about women's biology.

I tell DH I read something on MN but everyone else it was on social media or on the internet because they are a load of snobs.

But in fact I do some work vaguely related to marketing to parents and get a good feel for "what's bothering parents right now" from MN (e.g. don't suggest any more bloody crafts or reading to your child in lockdown when the schools are closed). And I get a fair bit of British politics chat as well so I can work out what to bother reading on the BBC or Times.

Yanbu!!!! It's embarrassing and people definitely judge you

I find it so informative - latest news, latest fashions, links to knowledgeable news links, feminist stuff, child rearing stuff, recipes - I'm nearly 70 so I'd need to cover a lot of newspaper, online media, magazines to keep up with that.
It's great.

It would be interesting to see a Myers-Briggs type indicator but made up of people's 4 most commonly frequented boards!
Well it's going to be AIBU isn't it as that is at the top of the page most

Some posters never venture out of AIBU ever.

A big YABU. And an even bigger YABU for using the site while turning down your nose at it.
The only reason people are ashamed of mumsnet is because it's automatically dismissed as less worthy because it's primarily a female sphere -- even gasp horror a place for mums who as we all know are decidedly uncool.
Do you let people know you're on Twitter or Facebook? Those have way more petty, embarrassing and bigoted crap than anything on here.
Mumsnet is one of the very few (only?) female-centric places online where so many women can talk about their own issues without men taking over. There is absolutely nothing shameful in that.

Also this:
www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2018/05/demonisation-mumsnet-just-latest-incarnation-witch-hunting

I neither promote it nor hide it; if something on Mumsnet is relevant to a conversation I'm having IRL then I might reference it, but a few times I've been surprised at the negative reactions, which seem to polarise into:

1: mumsnetters are frothing feminists
2: mumsnetters are vacuous stay-at-home parents whose only conversatjon topics are breastfeeding/bums/weaning or
3; mumsnetters are high-maintenance middle class boden wearing performance-parenting lentil-weavers.

I think I like the first assumption best. At least those people keep a wary distance from me 😁

My husband knows I'm on here.... we have an in house joke " why don't you start a Mumsnet thread about it" lol

I don't tell others I post, in fact I would deny I ever posted if asked! But I do have to stop myself from saying " well, I read on Mumsnet...." quite a lot during conversations! 😀

DH knows I’m on here too. He says everything on here is made up old cobblers. He’s more than half right TBF.

@purpleboy

Love to see some examples of transphobia if anyone has any?

The current "Visiting my 'trans' niece today" thread would be a fair place to start.

And that's just today.