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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend who had IVF is an anti-vaxxer

192 replies

Laughingstock91 · 04/04/2021 06:07

Aibu here?

My friend who has not long ago had IVF doesn’t want the vaccine because she doesn’t want to ‘put chemicals’ into her body yet she’s been pumped full of hormones and drugs during IVF.

Aibu to really really not understand her position. It makes me think of anyone from the 90’s who did pills (ecstasy) saying the same thing. It’s an utterly bonkers view point!

OP posts:

BritWifeinUSA · 05/04/2021 03:35

Perhaps if you’d been through IVF you might have more compassion. With friends like you who needs enemies?

Scr1bblyGum · 05/04/2021 07:03

I had IVF and OHSS. I suspect op you know very little about her treatment. There are also supposedly some risks of clotting from IVF drugs. Frankly I’d probably be refusing the vaccine too if I’d just come out of my ivf treatment. Particularly so as I also wouldn’t have wanted even the slightest threat to my fertility.

I’ve had the vaccine as risk free now and no longer enduring infertility but getting very uncomfortable with the gov and some parts of the media’s gung ho you’re selfish if you don’t get vaccinated regardless message. It’s all very well if you have nothing to worry about, not so much if you do.

BurningRed · 05/04/2021 07:28

This reply has been deleted

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GlacindaTheTroll · 05/04/2021 07:28

OP isn't criticising the decision to refuse the vaccine, and if the friend had said she was concerned about clotting and wanted to sit, there wouldn't have been a thread.

But she didn't fpdi that. She talked about chemicals being out in to her body.

That's hypocritical of her, requiring considerable cognitive dissonance.

apurplecar · 05/04/2021 07:29

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drpet49 · 05/04/2021 07:32

Your friend is a hypocrite

boobot1 · 05/04/2021 07:46

@apurplecar

You sound like an awful friend.

This

Temp023 · 05/04/2021 07:56

She does know that every cell she has is continuously manufacturing its own RNA anyway?

SushiYum · 05/04/2021 08:13

@Laughingstock91 YABU. It’s her body, her choice. Vaccines are quite a selfish thing, in that most vaccines tend to just protect the individual who had the vaccine.

I won’t have a vaccine against Covid19 as it only lessens the effects should I catch Covid19. It doesn’t prevent you from catching it again. The side effects of the vaccines are horrific and a friend of mine (early 20s) was still sick 2 weeks after having the AZ vaccine. I know many others who were also bedridden for days after having the vaccine. Most people catch Covid19 and have mild (or no) symptoms. I’ve weighed it up and I think only the elderly should have the vaccine (if they want it).

However, I’m not against childhood vaccines such as MMR and TB because those diseases can kill healthy children, unlike Covid19.

You sound very judgemental and lack compassion. If I was your friend, I’d cut our “friendship” off.

SushiYum · 05/04/2021 08:23

Vaccines are important, especially at the moment to get us out of this mess.
@Laughingstock91

It’s cute that you actually think this. The government (and lack of opposition) keep changing their minds: when deaths lower (there’s barely any now), when cases lower (they become desperate so test school kids frequently, upping the chances of false positives), when we have a vaccine (but guidance still states we can’t mix)... only the elderly and sick, then it’s over a certain age and now they want to vaccinate everyone. It’s just so weird the gov keeps dangling that carrot, moving further away.

Scr1bblyGum · 05/04/2021 08:33

Yy re the side effects. I haven’t felt so ill in ages. If I was back in the midst of infertility and spending a fortune on ivf and hoping for a much longer pregnancy I really wouldn’t be considering it. I doubt op your friend will care what you think, she has far grated things to worry about. It’s such a shifty time.

fightingSmiths · 05/04/2021 09:18

I think you are as good as each other. She sounds very irrational in many ways and you are coming across as extremely bitchy and snide. I am just glad I don't have 'friends' like you.

Tigger85 · 05/04/2021 10:14

How long ago is not long ago? Anyone about to undertake ivf right now is right to be cautious about the vaccine, you don't want to do anything thst can jeprodise your chances for a treatment that is extremely expensive with low chance of success in the first place. I had a freeze all in January, I have been eligible for the vaccine since it came out due to my job. There was no way I was getting it right before going through an egg retrieval cycle. I have only had it now because I am due to go back to work soon and will be directly treating and working less than an arms length away from patients with suspected and confirmed covid for hours on end. If i wasn't a hcp I wouldn't be getting the vaccine at this point in time if ttc be it via natural means or ivf. If anything goes wrong including fetal abnormalities I will be worried that taking the vaccine caused it and will more than likely blame myself for deciding to get the vaccine instead of waiting. Anyone undergoing ivf will already be scrutinizing everything they eat drink or put on their body, including what they cook their food in and what they store their food in. Not all the medications during ivf are synthetic hormones either, e.g menopur is all natural highly purified fsh and lh derived from the urine of post menopausal nuns. Just because you consent to treatment a after having weighed up the risks and benefits doesn't mean you are then obligated to consent to treatment b.

DeeCeeCherry · 05/04/2021 14:41

My friend who has not long ago had IVF doesn’t want the vaccine because she doesn’t want to ‘put chemicals’ into her body yet she’s been pumped full of hormones and drugs during IVF

Merely mention IVF and everyone goes mad and suddenly it’s your right to choose if you have a vaccine etc

Maybe she's worried the vaccine would affect a pregnancy. Maybe she'll get vaccine later. You don't know.

You are callous, in the way you speak and frame things. It's best for her if you drop the friendship but you'll probably just continue to bitch and judge her behind her back for your own satisfaction.

I'm not an anti-vaxxer but I wouldn't use a friend's differing view on it to be so scornful of her. Especially as IVF is no walk in the park so she has a lot on her mind and perhaps isn't feeling so great.

ElderMillennial · 05/04/2021 14:44

@GhostCurry

I mean I don’t agree with her position re vaccination, but I also don’t think that because you’ve had IVF, you are therefore morally obliged to accept any and all drugs in future. 🙄

Exactly this.

You sound a bit judgey OP. It's none of your business.

murbblurb · 05/04/2021 15:15

I know this is Mumsnet, but the idea that only kids matter and only they should have vaccines is fuckwittery of a whole new level. Who will look after your kids if you get ill or die of a preventable disease? Why is there no smallpox??

Some on here have no brain. I v f woman refusing vaccines for her kids is one of them.

Somethingsnappy · 05/04/2021 18:41

OP, i hope you've taken on board some of the excellent comments on this thread, in order to hopefully increase your compassion and understanding.

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