Friend who had IVF is an anti-vaxxer

[Laughingstock91]

Aibu here?

My friend who has not long ago had IVF doesn’t want the vaccine because she doesn’t want to ‘put chemicals’ into her body yet she’s been pumped full of hormones and drugs during IVF.

Aibu to really really not understand her position. It makes me think of anyone from the 90’s who did pills (ecstasy) saying the same thing. It’s an utterly bonkers view point!

@Goslowlysideways

My friend is an anti vaxxer and she smokes 20 a day and spent most of the 90’s out of her head on E. She is never without a fridge full of Chardonnay and there is always a g&t in her hand by 6ish!! She had Botox regularly and any other injection to keep her face super smooth. But she says no vaccine for her because she is worried about the toxicity. She is fabulous but utterly infuriating.

The cognitive dissonance is extraordinary

It is ok to have friends and massively massively disagree with them and be critical of their views too by the way. That doesn’t mean I need to dump her.

It’s not just class A drugs OP, most people don’t know what’s in their food!

Just because she’s against this vaccine doesn’t make her an anti vaxer and it really gets on my nerves people saying that.

I was dubious about this vaccine, but myself and my dds had had all others. Does that make me an anti vaxer?!

I wish people would just stop policing others. This pandemic has really brought the worst out in people that’s for sure. You do you and let her do her fgs!!

@Roonerspismed last time I looked, that’s mostly what happens on mumsnet! It’s a place to anonymously share thoughts and views 🤯

@GhostCurry

I mean I don’t agree with her position re vaccination, but I also don’t think that because you’ve had IVF, you are therefore morally obliged to accept any and all drugs in future. 🙄

This.

People choose their preferred chemicals

No such thing as safe or unsafe chemicals, just safe & unsafe ways of using chemicals

@PinkiOcelot no, she’s against ALL vaccines as I have said. Her kids are 2 & 4 and have had no childhood vaccinations

Can't believe I'm actually defending an anti vaxxer but your position of oh well she's had IVF so she should get over it is so reprehensible. Please never say that to her if you care anything for her. Or if you can't help yourself you may find this friendship is over whether you think it should be or not.

@PinkiOcelot OP did say that her friends children aren't vaccinated which to me shows that her friend is an anti vaxxer.

I bet all the people on here saying its FINE to choose not to have the covid jab too will be the first complaining if we are put into another lockdown etc etc 🙄

I agree. It’s batshit crazy and ridiculous to not see the irony.

IVF is such a sensitive and raw process that she perhaps doesn’t call it out for what it is - chemically inducing a pregnancy (hopefully)

It’s difficult because there are some subjects you can’t ignore in a friend because they are too significant so you end up super frustrated or critical of them. I personally would find it very hard to be good friends with a committed anti vaxxer. One, because it’s a dangerous position to hold - especially if that means you don’t vaccinate your children and two, because it does come with a lot of hypocrisy. As you say, how can you drink alcohol, smoke, have Botox, drive a car, use plastic regularly, dye your hair, eat processed meat or do anything else which exposes you to high levels of toxins yet refuse vaccinations?

I personally don’t think your bad for moaning about her on MN, it’s literally full of people moaning about other people - moan away I say!

To be honest op, I wouldn't be complaining.

I'm not planning on having the vaccine and neither are any of my family members.

If someone wants to have the vaccine, I keep my mouth shut as it's their choice.

As for your friend not vaccinating her children, I think I have a vague memory of reading somewhere that as long as 80% of the population had received a vaccine then the unvaccinated are covered. I do agree with you that it's a little off not to vaccinate children but the covid vaccine is so new that I understand why some people are hesitant.

What reasons does your friend give when you've spoken to her about this?

One of my friends is saying they probs won’t have the covid one because of the link to fertility issues - even though it’s been debunked.
Yet said friend smokes, is over weight and has a terrible, terrible diet full of processed, high fat / salt and very little in the way of whole foods. These 3 factors have a huge impact on fertility - the hypocrisy and denial is another level tbh

@MaLarkinn so I am assuming then that by not choosing to have the vaccine, you are happy for us to be kept in a permanent cycle of lockdowns and economic ruin?

Please don’t lecture me about my friend and then tell me that you too won’t have the vaccine.

@MaLarkinn and it’s more than ‘a little off’ not to vaccine your kids too. It’s selfish and irresponsible.

@pinkstripeycat

IVF drugs are really dangerous and can cause hyper ovulation and death. She’s crazy then if she’s an anti vaxer

This isn’t true

IVF drugs are just what your body produces

Given in high doses, they can be dangerous.
But the idea that ivf is ‘pumping’ yourself through of weird, unknown chemicals just shows stupidity
You’re just increasing the amount of hormones your body would have produced that month
A bit like pregnancy increases the amount of certain hormones.

Obviously she is an idiot for being so anti vaxx but I can’t see an obvious contradiction with IVF

Your friend is entitled to her opinion - having had ivf doesn't mean she has to have a particular view on vaccines , they are two separate issues.

I disagree with her OP, wholeheartedly.

You call her selfish, irresponsible, hypocritical with “bonkers” views. Terms I’d used to describe someone I didn’t like. Not a friend.

[quote Laughingstock91]@apurplecar why? Because I disagree with my anti- vaxxer friend and think she is a hypocrite?[/quote]
You don't sound like a very nice friend person at all.

How about not judging her and her choices especially as she goes through something as difficult as IVF?

Her call right?

Some of the views on here are batshit!

So it’s not ok for calling someone out on their bonkers anti vaxx views after a year of a pandemic that’s changed life forever, killed 150k people in the uk when the vaccines give us a route back to normal life.

Merely mention IVF and everyone goes mad and suddenly it’s your right to choose if you have a vaccine etc.

Utterly bonkers 🤯

Actually I do think my friend is selfish for putting me and loads of other people at risk!

I wouldn't be happy for that no, but it doesn't make me want to get the vaccine.

Your friend has really pissed you off hasn't she.

I'd find other friends op.

A number of us agree with you OP

But... just don’t like the sound of you!