Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend who had IVF is an anti-vaxxer

192 replies

Laughingstock91 · 04/04/2021 06:07

Aibu here?

My friend who has not long ago had IVF doesn’t want the vaccine because she doesn’t want to ‘put chemicals’ into her body yet she’s been pumped full of hormones and drugs during IVF.

Aibu to really really not understand her position. It makes me think of anyone from the 90’s who did pills (ecstasy) saying the same thing. It’s an utterly bonkers view point!

OP posts:
Goldieloxx · 04/04/2021 09:27

I don't think I could be friends with someone that selfish. Maybe she will change her mind when she realises vaccine passports mean she won't need able to travel etc

theotherfossilsister · 04/04/2021 09:31

I am maybe being thick here, but can you even have the vaccine if you're going through ivf? We begin our cycle in autumn and I am so grateful to have got my first jab early(immunocompromised) so I don't have to worry about getting it just before or during ivf.

My mum said she finds it weird when people say they're scared if their information being shared so don't vax, but then have a smart phone. She lives in another country where folk are a lot more hesitant about jab though

TuvoknotSpock · 04/04/2021 09:35

Facepalm!
I understand being wary of a specific drug or not ready to try the new vaccine (I have a history of blood clots so won't be getting the AZ but crossing all my fingers and toes for pfizer). But to be anti science unless it suits you is very contradictory

Jackie7527 · 04/04/2021 09:35

[quote Laughingstock91]@PinkiOcelot no, she’s against ALL vaccines as I have said. Her kids are 2 & 4 and have had no childhood vaccinations[/quote]
She is putting her kids lives at risk by not getting them vaccinated. What if one of them becomes sick due to mumps or rubella? And dies?
If more people become like her, vaccinated diseases will make a come back and more children will become seriously ill and could die.
Your friend is an absolute idiot and a complete moron if she thinks it is ok to do drugs but not vaccines.
Her poor kids.

GabriellaMontez · 04/04/2021 09:36

Your friend decided that the risks of IVF were outweighed by the benefits.

At this point she obviously doesnt feel this way about the vaccine.

I'm not seeing hypocrisy here just a different assessment of the 2 treatments.

Hhusky · 04/04/2021 09:37

Is it all vaccines though or just this one? I think it's totally reasonable to decide whether you want the covid one now or whether you'd rather wait til we know more about it.

Jackie7527 · 04/04/2021 09:38

It's all vaccines she is against

Brunt0n · 04/04/2021 09:39

Yes I think that’s dumb and I also don’t think people should be able to go through IVF and then not vaccinate their kids 😳

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 04/04/2021 09:45

@Trees123456789

We all have the right to choose what is best for our own body and our own health, and not be called names for those choices - whatever that decision may be. Just because a person has a different view doesn't mean we should resort to name calling.

Perhaps your friend felt the medical intervention for IVF was absolutely necessary due to conception problems - but if she is in a younger age group that has a very minimal risk from covid, she doesn't feel that the vaccine / medical intervention is correct for her at this moment?

We need to continue to respect the My body, My choice principal, or we will all lose out in the long term.

I'd would have thought that after all the intervention required to have children via IVF, people wouldn't then willingly put their children at risk of dying horribly from Diptheria, Tetanus, Polio, Whooping Cough, Measles or Meningitis, becoming infertile themselves through Mumps or having dead/severely disabled children themselves from Rubella, Measles, Polio or Meningitis.

But there you go. They're happy about those very real risks. Mainly because they think it can't happen to their babies or have the selective memory inherent from not being old enough in the 1990s to remember the toddlers who lost their limbs or died from Meningitis, never mind those who died in the 1970s from Whooping Cough or those their grandparents might remember dying (or likely disappearing) in the 1950s from the others.

Would an epidemic of little children losing arms and legs or suffocating in front of them change their minds now? I used to think so, but I doubt it after the last year.

MaLarkinn · 04/04/2021 09:46

@denverRegina that depends on whether you're an anti vaxxer or not doesn't it Wink

Veex21 · 04/04/2021 09:47

Well no she has chosen ivf because she wants a child. The benefit outweighs the risk. It isn't the same imo.

Aprilx · 04/04/2021 09:50

@Laughingstock91

As I said though, it’s the principle isn’t it? If you have done loads of coke and pills, you don’t really have the moral high ground of worrying about what you put in your body. Vaccines are important, especially at the moment to get us out of this mess.
Was she taking the “moral high ground” though? Or just expressing her choice.
Twoforthree · 04/04/2021 09:53

A lot of the anti vaxxers wouldn't be so anti, if they didn't feel safe from everyone else protecting them.

Hypocrisy op.

willithappen · 04/04/2021 09:58

As someone currently going through IVF I actually think this is quite a bad comparison. IVF drugs are given to you with complete supervision and whilst there are affects these are altered and monitored per individual reactions. My clinic did absolutely everything to avoid me getting OHSS as I had a high antral folicile count and almost guaranteed to get it but I ended up being totally fine because of how they reacted to me

The vaccine is completely different in my eyes - are you going to get monitored that whole time to see how that's changing you??
I find it quite insensitive to say she's willingly pumping herself with drugs for that. Going through infertility none of us exactly willing/want to have children this way but it's the only way for some

Herewegoagainok · 04/04/2021 10:03

It is hypocrisy op. I am pro vaccinations but I do hate talk of passports and the online lynch mobbing of people who don't want the vaccinations (I see this thread as a discussion tbh, I mean comments on facebook that are really vicious). While I think the majority of arguments against the vaccinations are illogical conspiracy nonsense I absolutely respect anyone's decision not to have it. But I couldn't listen to a friend talk about it, it would infuriate me Grin Have you said anything to your friend op? I don't think I would be able to keep my mouth shut.

UsedUpUsername · 04/04/2021 10:04

@Twoforthree

A lot of the anti vaxxers wouldn't be so anti, if they didn't feel safe from everyone else protecting them.

Hypocrisy op.

If you are talking about COVID, then most of us probably don’t feel we are at risk if we catch it (and most of us would be right)

You might have a point with other common diseases, but COVID ain’t it.

It’s actually got a lot more in common with the flu shot, which is also not compulsory.

Thankfully the COVID shots are a lot more effective than the flu shot, which means those who choose to have it are highly protected after the second shot.

Herewegoagainok · 04/04/2021 10:06

willithappen I can't speak for the ops friend but in my experience the distrust isn't because they aren't monitored afterwards. It's mainly paranoia that the state or 'others' are using the vaccine to poison / control them. Some are so far fetched I believe they're as mentally unwell as my family member who suffers paranoid delusions and believes people are watching them.

willithappen · 04/04/2021 10:09

@Herewegoagainok I'm not saying that's not the case, I just think it's highly insensitive to compare the fact she's had IVF to get across this point.

BadMotherLover · 04/04/2021 10:10

Does she not know about the government's covert embryo harvesting scheme? If she believes the anti-vax conspiracies, she must be terrified about the deep state cloning programme? A lot of people are talking about it.

MajorNeville · 04/04/2021 10:10

I have an anti vaxxer friend who spent the best part of the 90's off her face, I have to zip it most days.

denverRegina · 04/04/2021 10:15

"that depends on whether you're an anti vaxxer or not doesn't it"

No

ittakes2 · 04/04/2021 10:17

I was desperate for the Covid vaccine and all my children have not only had their regular vaccines but I have paid extra for others like chicken pox. But I have also had IVF. I don't even like taking pain killers. I hated putting all those IVF drugs into my body but it was a case of take these drugs as they are your only chance of a family so I took them.
But you really can't equate IVF drugs to a covid vaccine.
Although its OK to feel different about her if you have strong feelings about the vaccine and she is antivaccine.

Ladyks3 · 04/04/2021 10:20

Does she refuse all vaccines or just this new one? Calling someone an anti-vaxer for being hesitant about ONE vaccine that is still classed as an experimental drug & no one knows the long term effects of, is ridiculous. YABU (from someone who will get the vaccine when eligible)

UsedUpUsername · 04/04/2021 10:21

@Ladyks3

Does she refuse all vaccines or just this new one? Calling someone an anti-vaxer for being hesitant about ONE vaccine that is still classed as an experimental drug & no one knows the long term effects of, is ridiculous. YABU (from someone who will get the vaccine when eligible)
This really annoys me too.
BillyIsMyBunny · 04/04/2021 10:21

Ridiculous to say if you have done drugs in your past you don’t have the right to decide what you put in your body anymore. For a start you can’t really judge her choices now based on drugs she took 20 years ago when she was presumably in her teens or twenties and had a different outlook. People are absolutely allowed to change their viewpoints and another person could argue that if she was happy to take her chances with drugs knowing they have health risks it’s completely reasonable for her to take her chances with catching COVID knowing it has health risks. You could also argue considering she was happy to do something a lot of society are against by taking drugs it’s reasonable that she’s going against society again by refusing the vaccine; surely it would be weird for her to conform to the government’s push for people to take the vaccine when clearly she had no concern for the government and their laws when she was taking illegal drugs in the 90s?

And by your argument would you also agree that foods free from harmful pesticides and other chemicals should only be reserved for those people who have never taken illegal drugs, but that everybody who has ever taken drugs should be happy to eat foods even if they are found to use ingredients and chemicals banned by the FDA because they clearly don’t care about what they put in their bodies and have lost the right to choose products free of chemicals they feel are harmful?