Brother in law’s new partner after sisters death

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My sister died less than 9 months ago. My brother in law has a new partner who he has been seeing for at least 4 months. My nieces and nephews (his kids) know her now, she stays over. She’s the opposite of my sister but she shares her first name. I can’t stop crying

I understand your anger. It is far too soon to be fair to the children. Probably not your place to say anything, though. Just be there for them.

As someone who lost their partner 6 years ago in tragic circumstances, I too moved on very quickly. It didn't last and I think I was in desperate shock and looking for an anchor.

It never, ever took anything away from my love and grief for my deceased partner, although I was judged.

I am eternally grateful to the people who didn't judge me and who tried to understand me and support me.

I would say to anyone, until you have been there yourself you have no idea how you would act in the same circumstances, be kind, be accepting and be supportive to him and the kids. It will work itself through, in time.

Hi, I totally get how you were feeling as I have just lost my sister in May and I have just found out that my brother in law started a new relationship with her best friend 2 weeks after her funeral. He removed all her photos and clothes straight away and I now feeling so angry, upset and worried for his 10 and 14 year old children. My head is a mess as I get that he is lonely but that quick - really!! Seems like a disgrace to her memory.

Just reading this message now. Would be interested to know how things are now? My brother in law started having sleepovers with my sisters friend within months of her dying. Lying to his kids and us for months. I loved him more than some of my own family but that has changed to hatred now. He was not only disrespectful my sister and all of her family but he chose this woman who has a long history of destroying families. He says no one will control him and has turned into a selfish Dad that continuously puts himself and this woman ahead of his children. I have such anger towards him now but thankfully still have a great relationship with my nieces and nephew.