Would you let teen ds go to centre parcs in this situation

[Troublewaters2021]

Hi

Son is 14 if he can go Centre parcs in august with his boyfriend and boyfriends older brother and friends.

Older brother of boyfriend is 21.

I am not sure I feel comfortable with it, he thinks I’m being v unreasonable.

Back story - his sister has been v sick and there is no chance of having a break this year.
So would be nice for him to get away but are 21 year olds really responsible for 2 14 year old boys.

Regardless..... no sleepovers. Platonic or otherwise. Teens are often easily led, it only takes one silly one influenced by older friends or siblings to push others into behaviours they arent ready for.

@daisypond so you’ve moved on from it being an outward bound centre? That’s good.

So, this is two children who will be away with very young adults who are unlikely to be able to impose appropriate parental boundaries. So, it’s bedtime, everyone has had their alcohol free cocoa and Toby and Tim head off to bed together. Just to share a room and a snuggle of course. Do you think the 21 year olds are going to split them up? And do you think the 14 year olds are going to have a cuddle and go to sleep? Seriously?

And most importantly these are decisions and positions that a 14 year old shouldn’t be put in.

I will talk to him in the morning to explain the reasons and give alternative solutions.

I’m with you OP a definite no. I really don’t think 14 years are emotionally mature enough for a sexual relationship so I’d be doing everything within my power to discourage it via controlling environment as best as I could. Obviously it guarantees nothing but that is my view.

@sparepantsandtoothbrush

Yeah. They really aren't going for the sport you know. They'll be having sex and getting very pissed. Waking up hungover then going to the pool. Doing one activity late afternoon. Then having sex and getting pissed again

Don't be disgusting. Why are you assuming that's what 14 year olds want to do? Vile

Not vile FGS. Realistic. You can bury your head in the sand and pretend all your 14 year old does with their boy/girlfriend is discuss Jane Austen, but most 14 year old couples will be snogging and probably groping each other. Add in a holiday atmosphere, alcohol, sharing a bed and no parents and inevitably you have to consider that sex may happen.

I wouldnt trust my 21 year old brother to look after himself. Unfortunately this is an occasion where your 14 year old has to learn that life just isnt fair. He will get over it

I do allow him to sleep over friends house.

I haven’t agreed to centre parcs though.

@Troublewaters2021

Thank you - he is in a bit of a strop with me after I said no at dinner: storming of saying it was unfair so as they are only 8 years younger than me 😂 but I think it’s a little bit different !

I'm confused. You are not his parent if you are only 8 years older. where are this child's parents?

most 14 year old couples will be snogging and probably groping each other

Yep. Which is not this:

Yeah. They really aren't going for the sport you know. They'll be having sex and getting very pissed. Waking up hungover then going to the pool. Doing one activity late afternoon. Then having sex and getting pissed again

@thenightsky I am not 8 years older than him I am 8 years older than the brother.

So you were 15 when you had him, OP?

@Branleuse

the majority of teenagers dont get to go away for the weekend with their boyfriends unsupervised. Dont be so naive

I’m not naive. My DC are late teens and early 20s now. But there’s a lot of projection and imagining on this thread. And these boys are supervised.

@Tankflybosswalkjam

So you were 15 when you had him, OP?

oh i wonder where this comment is going to lead to..

If parents are going then would consider but as he is going with his bf and young adults who as responsible as they might be don't have the same thoughts and responsibilities as a parent

@GuildfordGal

most 14 year old couples will be snogging and probably groping each other

Yep. Which is not this:

Yeah. They really aren't going for the sport you know. They'll be having sex and getting very pissed. Waking up hungover then going to the pool. Doing one activity late afternoon. Then having sex and getting pissed again

But paragraph 1 (safe, normal, healthy) easily turns into paragraph 2 once you introduce alcohol and no parental supervision.

FGS the number of MN posts about early teen mixed sleepovers and the responses are a unanimous 'boys in one room, girls in another, and supervise!' otherwise sex will happen. And yet here we're removing parents and adding alcohol but they won't have sex despite being a couple?

He has 0 ponies lives in a modest 3 bedroom terraced house and no Range Rover.

And these boys are supervised.

By a 21 year old and his mates! Supervision my arse!

I would'nt let him go

storming of saying it was unfair so as they are only 8 years younger than mebut I think it’s a little bit different !

8 years younger than than the brother.

Eh?

[quote Troublewaters2021]@thenightsky I am not 8 years older than him I am 8 years older than the brother.[/quote]
So where are the parents then?

How does he play polo then with no ponies?

@Loshad do you need to have parents of a certain age before you can play rugby or polo?

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion the OP is 29, the supervising boys are 21, the romantic couple which includes her son are 14.

@Tankflybosswalkjam

No sleepovers. Home by midnight.

Because it's only possible to have sex at midnight?

This makes zero sense. OP, talk safe sex with him. It's doesn't matter if it's males or females, if you personally are not okay with sleeper overs in your house then don't have them stay.

But it would be completely unfair to stop your child going to friend based sleep overs on the basis he's bisexual and may possibly find one of them attractive??