Would you let teen ds go to centre parcs in this situation

[Troublewaters2021]

Hi

Son is 14 if he can go Centre parcs in august with his boyfriend and boyfriends older brother and friends.

Older brother of boyfriend is 21.

I am not sure I feel comfortable with it, he thinks I’m being v unreasonable.

Back story - his sister has been v sick and there is no chance of having a break this year.
So would be nice for him to get away but are 21 year olds really responsible for 2 14 year old boys.

OP do you think people under 16 having sex is ok?

he has many girl and many boy friends though

At 14? How you manage it is you impose boundaries. Curfew, no sleepovers etc.

@Tankflybosswalkjam please state anywhere where I have said that ? Thanks.

You haven’t. That’s why I asked.

What’s the issue ? If they’re in a relationship they’ve probably already had sex. As for getting drunk, they won’t be able to buy alcohol.

Ok so let me state for the 100th time I said NO !

• he will not be going.

He has boundaries - many actually and is doing exceptionally well thankfully.
I hope this continues but I’m also aware there maybe a few bumps in the road as he gets older.

What’s the age of consent got to do with it? Why endorse/encourage two children in a romantic relationship to be in a position where their relationship has ample opportunity if not expectation to become sexual?

Why is time at an outdoor activity centre with friend endorsing or encouraging it? Why would you expect it to become sexual? Do you trust your teen? Are they all sensible? Are the grown-ups sensible?

Well, because children having sex is to be discouraged.

Yeah. They really aren't going for the sport you know. They'll be having sex and getting very pissed. Waking up hungover then going to the pool. Doing one activity late afternoon. Then having sex and getting pissed again

Don't be disgusting. Why are you assuming that's what 14 year olds want to do? Vile

@daisypond it isn’t an outdoor activity centre. It’s a holiday village that has some outdoor activities you can do if you want.

Yeah. They really aren't going for the sport you know. They'll be having sex and getting very pissed. Waking up hungover then going to the pool. Doing one activity late afternoon. Then having sex and getting pissed again.

christ almighty.

no absolutely not. Id feel really worried about sexual abuse or coercion. I absolutely would not allow it at 14

if they’re in a relationship they’ve probably already had sex.
They are 14 . My recollection of relationships in early teens is it rarely progresses beyond hand holding, kissing, overly soppy texting and at most some fumbled groping.

As for getting drunk, they won’t be able to buy alcohol.

What and you think the 21 year old won't buy it and give them a few cans of beer? It doesnt take much when you are 14.

@Tankflybosswalkjam no I don’t agree or should be encouraged.

Not that I get why I’m answering that.

Not a chance unless the 21 yo was known to be exceptionally responsible.

My recollection of teen romance is that things go better when there are lots of boundaries and reduced opportunity for anyone to be put in a position where they have to make decisions beyond their maturity. And 14 is not mature.

its not vile or disgusting or weird to assume that if you let two 14 year olds go away without supervision then they will have sex, because they probably will. Jeez, dont you remember being a hormonal teen?

I have teenagers btw

Why would you expect it to become sexual?

Well this teen has already considered/explored their sexuality enough to have declared themselves bisexual and have "many girlfriends and boyfriends". I'd definitely have concerns about how they might spend nights away from home unchaperoned.

The point being that they are not mentally, socially or emotionally ready to handle the sexual free for all that their teenage hormones might desire.

@Tankflybosswalkjam

Well, because children having sex is to be discouraged.

Well, of course. But why are you assuming, expecting them to have sex? The problem is in your head, not in the reality of the majority of 14-year-olds do.

He isn’t going but I think there is a lot of assumptions about my DS 😂

He is a sports fanatic and loves school

I have never even known him to have a detention. Good grades. Spare time he does polo and rugby ( both 3-4 times a week after school and weekends as well as competes )
He has never given me any trouble - yet.
I do not believe he is sexually active I actually don’t think he has worked out who is in that sense yet. ( we have supported him through this )
Sunday’s he does sail club and water sports

He doesn’t really do parties etc

the majority of teenagers dont get to go away for the weekend with their boyfriends unsupervised.
Dont be so naive

Sorry by many girl friends and boy friends I mean friends as in friendship circle not like his had a mutiple relationships

Yeah. They really aren't going for the sport you know. They'll be having sex and getting very pissed. Waking up hungover then going to the pool. Doing one activity late afternoon. Then having sex and getting pissed again

wtaf?

MN is fucking weird today.

"could find themselves in a position they aren't comfortable with"

read this with the mind of a 14 year old

Absolutely not.