Page 3 | Would you let teen ds go to centre parcs in this situation

Troublewaters2021 · 2021-04-03T21:11:40+00:00

Hi Son is 14 if he can go Centre parcs in august with his boyfriend and boyfriends older brother and friends. Older brother of boyfriend is 21. I am not sure I feel comfortable with it, he thinks I’m being v unreasonable. Back story - his sister has been v sick and there is no chance of having a break this year. So would be nice for him to get away but are 21 year olds really responsible for 2 14 year old boys.

Flowers24 · 03/04/2021 22:30

No chance!

titchy · 03/04/2021 22:31

Since when has it been sensible parenting to let 14 year olds have a dirty weekend?

Original poster

Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 22:32

Ok 1. I didn’t say yes that’s the point of the unreasonable.
He thinks I’m being unreasonable.

They have been best friends / sports partners for years but I still said no.

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GloomyWaters · 03/04/2021 22:32

I would be saying no at 14...my DS is 16 and I would maybe say yes to 16 if 21 yr old I knew was responsible. DS has been to CPs many a time and knows whats what etc.

GrandDuchessRomanov · 03/04/2021 22:32

No way would I let a 14 year old boy or girl go away without a parent to supervise.

Do you think their relationship is sexual OP? If not it could be very well what they are planning and I wouldn't trust the 21 year old to police that.

Original poster

Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 22:33

Please someone tell me where I said I would allow it 🙈
I said no

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CirqueDeMorgue · 03/04/2021 22:33

@Troublewaters2021

Centre parcs would allow it. As long as each accommodation has someone 21 and over in it.

Maybe I could suggest I go and stay in a lodge with the “ kids “ and they can joint the outdoor activities with the others during the day.

This seems like a really decent compromise!

Tankflybosswalkjam · 03/04/2021 22:35

But OP why post then???

“AIBU to let my toddler play in the knife drawer?”

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/04/2021 22:35

Maybe I could suggest I go and stay in a lodge with the “ kids “ and they can joint the outdoor activities with the others during the day.

This is a much better idea.

clpsmum · 03/04/2021 22:36

No chance

daisypond · 03/04/2021 22:36

@Tankflybosswalkjam

I must live in another universe because the chances of my 14 year old getting away for the weekend for a bit of romance with their Significant Other, essentially unsupervised, is non existent. They’re both under the age of consent for a start. I’m agog at the lack of boundaries.

Well, you must live in an alternative universe. No timescale has been mentioned. No romance. It’s not unsupervised. What’s the age of consent got to do with anything? There are no “lack of boundaries”. An outdoor activity centre sounds fine to me.

hellywelly3 · 03/04/2021 22:36

Depends how mature the 21 year old is. I was married with a mortgage at 21 but not everyone is the same

BoyTree · 03/04/2021 22:37

Could you take your son at the same time, so that they can be together, but you can still check in regularly and he can sleep at 'yours'.

GreenClock · 03/04/2021 22:38

You’re right to say no. A 14 year old couple shouldn’t be going away together, they should be dating and coming home separately of an evening. There will be plenty of opportunities for trips and travel in a few years’ time I’m sure. They seem in a rush to act older than they are.

Original poster

Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 22:38

Because he is 14 and although my initial reaction was hell no, sometimes I’m still learning about him growing up and he didn’t come with a manual.
He is has been an exceptionally good child and teen - so far.
So I wasn’t sure whether I was being to hasty.

I don’t think it’s the same as letting a toddler play in a knife drawer.

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NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/04/2021 22:38

Depends how mature the 21 year old is. I was married with a mortgage at 21 but not everyone is the same

There's being responsible for yourself and being responsible (in loco parents!) for two 14 year olds.

Few 21 year olds are genuinely ready to handle imposing the sorts of boundaries 14 year olds require.

Original poster

Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 22:39

By the way I don’t think this is a romantic get away, they are all apart of the same sports teams / camps etc I think in there head or what he was trying to say was it was for fun and leisure activities they want to do.

But I still said no.

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rookiemere · 03/04/2021 22:40

No absolutely not.

If there was no suspicion of a sexual relationship I might consider it if I knew the older DB and thought he was responsible, but under the conditions you describe- absolutely not. At that age it's much more appropriate for them to go with an adult- you get to laze in the spa all day ( if it's reopened) as they go off and do their own thing.

Yes it's still possible that things may happen between them, but I guess in a possible same sex relationship at that age it would be very difficult to police, but they're still so young they need a proper adult around.

Tankflybosswalkjam · 03/04/2021 22:40

@Daisypond CP only do 3 or 4 night breaks. The OP has talked about booking another lodge there - it’s clearly residential.

What’s the age of consent got to do with it? Why endorse/encourage two children in a romantic relationship to be in a position where their relationship has ample opportunity if not expectation to become sexual?

thenightsky · 03/04/2021 22:40

@Tankflybosswalkjam

I must live in another universe because the chances of my 14 year old getting away for the weekend for a bit of romance with their Significant Other, essentially unsupervised, is non existent. They’re both under the age of consent for a start. I’m agog at the lack of boundaries.

Totally this!

titchy · 03/04/2021 22:42

@Troublewaters2021

By the way I don’t think this is a romantic get away, they are all apart of the same sports teams / camps etc I think in there head or what he was trying to say was it was for fun and leisure activities they want to do.

But I still said no.

Yeah. They really aren't going for the sport you know. They'll be having sex and getting very pissed. Waking up hungover then going to the pool. Doing one activity late afternoon. Then having sex and getting pissed again.

Original poster

Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 22:43

Ok another question just out of curiosity

How do I the future then handle to whole stay over situation -
My DS is bisexual, he has many girl and many boy friends though. How do I manage this in the future stay overs ( bedrooms
Etc )

How would I ever know for sure.

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NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/04/2021 22:44

Well, you must live in an alternative universe. No timescale has been mentioned. No romance. It’s not unsupervised. What’s the age of consent got to do with anything? There are no “lack of boundaries”. An outdoor activity centre sounds fine to me.

Have you read the thread?

It's a lodge at centre parcs so minimum timescale is a long weekend. There's "romance" because OP is pretty certain these two 14 year olds are in a relationship. No parents there =unsupervised. A 21 year old older brother is not "supervision" in most people's view. The age of consent is relevant as CP lodges dont have single rooms so it's likely these two teenagers who are in a relationship and are below the age of consent would likely be sharing a bedroom. Center parcs isnt just an activity centre it's a holiday resort involving 3 nights stay away from home minimum.

Tankflybosswalkjam · 03/04/2021 22:44

No sleepovers. Home by midnight.

Original poster

Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 22:44

@titchy I said no - however I have no reason to believe my DS would do that, he has actually never given me reason to not trust him.

Regardless I said no.

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