Page 12 | Would you let teen ds go to centre parcs in this situation

Troublewaters2021 · 2021-04-03T21:11:40+00:00

Hi Son is 14 if he can go Centre parcs in august with his boyfriend and boyfriends older brother and friends. Older brother of boyfriend is 21. I am not sure I feel comfortable with it, he thinks I’m being v unreasonable. Back story - his sister has been v sick and there is no chance of having a break this year. So would be nice for him to get away but are 21 year olds really responsible for 2 14 year old boys.

AIMD · 04/04/2021 18:26

The option you’ve gone for sounds like a fair and sensible compromise. In fact you sound like a fair and sensible mum.

Ilovemypantry · 04/04/2021 18:50

@GuildfordGal

Careful, lalafafa... you’re not allowed to say that

Juvenile. Pathetic.

I make no apologies for mentioning the OP’s age when she had her son

But that's not quite what you did, is it? That would have been an innocuous comment. Since we can all read your posts and see EXACTLY what you said, and the context, maybe you should - as previously suggested - think hard about how fucking nasty your comment really was.

Do you STILL not get it, or are you just a very, very unpleasant person and revel in this sort of thing?

I am not revelling in anything. If, as you claim, you read my comment, you will see I was merely stating that as OP was 15 when she had her son (as she’d already pointed out) she would be well aware of what teens that age get up to. So it wasn’t a “fucking nasty comment” at all.

jessstan2 · 04/04/2021 18:57

lalafafa

OP, if you were pregnant at 15 surely you know what they'll be up to.
.......
Most of us were up to all sorts at 15. So what?

jessstan2 · 04/04/2021 18:57

@AIMD

The option you’ve gone for sounds like a fair and sensible compromise. In fact you sound like a fair and sensible mum.

She does indeed.

GuildfordGal · 04/04/2021 19:05

If, as you claim, you read my comment, you will see I was merely stating that as OP was 15 when she had her son (as she’d already pointed out) she would be well aware of what teens that age get up to

I read your comment, as did others. Several posters pointed out how disgraceful it was. I can cut and paste the lot if it helps to jog your memory. Why do you think it pissed people off?

And you STILL don't get it one bit. Or you do, and you are simply horribly judgemental, wilfully ignorant of the range of human experience that people go through, or plain nasty. Or a selection of those things.

I'll put it in simple terms (although this is general and in no way connected to the OP - none of us here know her circumstances, which is the fucking issue, frankly): young teenagers don't just get pregnant because 'of what teenagers get up to.'

For the third time: engage your brain.

wigjuice · 04/04/2021 19:08

@Ilovemypantry

You don't recognise it as nasty because you are obviously a rather nasty person. You seemed positively gleeful referring to lala!

Roodicus21 · 04/04/2021 20:18

Op you made the right decision. I wouldn't be comfortable with it either.

Ignore comments about being a young mum. My dsis had her first dc at 16, has gone on to have a wonderful professional career. Bought first house at 23, got married, had a second dc and has now moved into her dream home. Her dc have a fab life and want for nothing, emotionally or financially, and she's only turned 30 and has a teenager! I'm in awe that she's achieved so much and she's got to grow with her dc. I had my dc later than her and did things the other way round- career then dc. No right way necessarily. Ignore the haters!

Gwenhwyfar · 04/04/2021 22:43

"Maybe £130 each."

130 for two nights in a cabin isn't that cheap. Did it include food or anything? If I stay in a hotel it costs me around 40 or 50 a night. If I stay in a gite/holiday home or something it's generally a bit cheaper, maybe 20 or 30 a night.

spongedog · 04/04/2021 22:52

@Troublewaters2021

Right update - I spoke to son and my DP and the other parents. It was all due to the parents being away and the boys not wanting to be stuck at home.

Boy is going to go with his brother and my son with DP they will meet in the day times for activities.

Sounds like a really good compromise. Some independence for the 14 year olds, but not too much. And it puts a bit of responsibility on to the young adults but again not too much. Hope your DP has a good time!

CovidCorvid · 04/04/2021 23:10

@Gwenhwyfar

"Maybe £130 each."

130 for two nights in a cabin isn't that cheap. Did it include food or anything? If I stay in a hotel it costs me around 40 or 50 a night. If I stay in a gite/holiday home or something it's generally a bit cheaper, maybe 20 or 30 a night.

It’s 3 nights and 4 full days. So cheaper than £50 a night in a hotel.

No food included but use of the pool/slides. Free cycling if you take your own bikes and nice walking/nature watching.

If you stay in a hotel you have to do stuff during the day which is likely to cost money.

Wish I could find a holiday home for £20 a night. It’s a struggle to find a decent cottage under £1000 a week!

Original poster

Troublewaters2021 · 04/04/2021 23:18

The price is irrelevant the 14 years olds are not paying it we are ( well we are for ds and dp ) the other parents for the boys.

OP posts:

Original poster

Troublewaters2021 · 04/04/2021 23:21

For what it’s worth my parents were very strict - no sleepovers at friends houses etc

I have always kept to my rule with my DS that we have boundaries but that we can have discussions about things. I don’t agree with shutting him down and saying no without discussion afterwards and a chance for him to have his say which is what we did today after I said no yesterday.

OP posts:

FireflyRainbow · 05/04/2021 00:48

Absolutely not.

somuchlaundrytowash · 05/04/2021 06:25

I would say no. 21 year old lads are not mature enough to care for 14 year olds .

somuchlaundrytowash · 05/04/2021 06:28

@Emeraldshamrock

Is he a mature 14 y.o. Has he drank alcohol before? Would he sensible? If he is I'd allow it. My only paranoid concerns would be the older boys sexually abusing them. How long is it for? If you're sure as you can be that the older boys are safe I'd let him for a few days max.

Now that's a bit more than a bit dramatic.

snowone · 05/04/2021 07:05

It would be a no from me. If parents were present then that's different.

Onairjunkie · 05/04/2021 08:17

@Troublewaters2021

He has 0 ponies lives in a modest 3 bedroom terraced house and no Range Rover.

I thought you had a ‘full size swimming pool’?

notdaddycool · 05/04/2021 09:12

My father was ill so told my 21 year old brother to take 14 year old me skiing and he’d pay as he didn’t want me missing out, we had a great time. Ok, it was my brother who my parents knew, but that would be where my concern would be, what is the brother like? I wouldn’t reject it completely.

Original poster

Troublewaters2021 · 05/04/2021 11:30

@Onairjunkie weirdly we do have a swimming pool out back for my disabled daughter.
Didn’t say we didn’t have a garden

OP posts:

AlwaysLatte · 05/04/2021 11:41

don’t doubt there is drinking etc
Not sure if I read that right but drinking at 14?? I would have said no to this anyway but drinking - 200% no!

Original poster

Troublewaters2021 · 05/04/2021 11:43

@AlwaysLatte I meant the older ones. I don’t doubt they would have a few drinks. I’ve never know ds to drink.

OP posts:

Skyla2005 · 05/04/2021 11:47

It's impossible to say without knowing all the people involved !

UmmmBop · 05/04/2021 12:54

@notdaddycool

My father was ill so told my 21 year old brother to take 14 year old me skiing and he’d pay as he didn’t want me missing out, we had a great time. Ok, it was my brother who my parents knew, but that would be where my concern would be, what is the brother like? I wouldn’t reject it completely.

Going on holiday with your own adult brother is in no way the same as going on holiday with your boyfriend and your boyfriend's adult brother.

Would your Dad have paid for you to go skiing with your boyfriend when you were 14?