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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you let teen ds go to centre parcs in this situation

298 replies

Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 22:11

Hi

Son is 14 if he can go Centre parcs in august with his boyfriend and boyfriends older brother and friends.

Older brother of boyfriend is 21.

I am not sure I feel comfortable with it, he thinks I’m being v unreasonable.

Back story - his sister has been v sick and there is no chance of having a break this year.
So would be nice for him to get away but are 21 year olds really responsible for 2 14 year old boys.

OP posts:
PADH · 03/04/2021 23:23

I would say no, purely because I remember my brother "looking after" me at a similar age and he would buy us alcohol.

Tankflybosswalkjam · 03/04/2021 23:23

@daisypond you’re still being obtuse, deliberately it seems. These are 14 year olds in a relationship.

Original poster
Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 23:24

Ok so there is no reason to be judgemental

The sailing is as the activities club, which they prefer to hang out etc than say cinema. Or whatever which costs about the same is there a reason why you assume I shouldn’t be able to afford the 12.00 !?!!

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 03/04/2021 23:25

No, at 14 I wouldn't let him go with his friend, supervised by an older brother.

Original poster
Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 23:27

I am not a troll I really don’t care, many times on here I’ve been branded a troll because I was a young mum who is successful.
I even sent in proof of daughters issues etc
But tbh I am done.
I am not a bad parent and my kids done go without because I tried really hard to make sure I was able to give them what I could.

I told him no but still being jumped on.

Really have been questioning my ability recently but thanks for making me realise maybe I’m not doing as well as I thought.

OP posts:
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 03/04/2021 23:28

[quote Tankflybosswalkjam]@Iminaglasscaseofemotion the OP is 29, the supervising boys are 21, the romantic couple which includes her son are 14.[/quote]
That's not very clear, as the next post says 8 years YONGER than the brother. Who's 8 years younger than the brother?

JeffreyJefferson · 03/04/2021 23:29

@Troublewaters2021 you asked a perfectly reasonable question and have now said that you’ve decided not to allow it anyway. however old you were when you had your son is no one else’s business????? some very rude people on here tonight. don’t worry op

GuildfordGal · 03/04/2021 23:29

I am not a troll I really don’t care, many times on here I’ve been branded a troll because I was a young mum who is successful

OP, don't let them get to you. You sound that you're doing a fine job and being mindful about tricky teen stuff.

You know that young and successful is a red rag to a small handful on MN, but not the majority.

me4real · 03/04/2021 23:30

@daisypond Grin Grin Grin

daisypond · 03/04/2021 23:30

[quote Tankflybosswalkjam]@daisypond you’re still being obtuse, deliberately it seems. These are 14 year olds in a relationship.[/quote]
I am not being deliberately obtuse. I’ve brought up three well-adjusted young adults, and while this exact scenario didn’t crop up for us, I don’t think I have a problem with this, as long as the adults are responsible.

Emeraldshamrock · 03/04/2021 23:32

Ignore anyone calling names some 14 y.o are mature. I'd book a getaway too so he doesn't miss out on the activities.

Original poster
Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 23:32

The brother is 8 years younger then me.
I had already said no I said no as soon as he asked. Because of his reaction I started to think about it so I could give him the right answers as to why it wouldn’t be a good idea.

But this meant I was irresponsible allowing my son to have sex.

OP posts:
justforthisnow · 03/04/2021 23:32

@Troublewaters2021

Hi

Son is 14 if he can go Centre parcs in august with his boyfriend and boyfriends older brother and friends.

Older brother of boyfriend is 21.

I am not sure I feel comfortable with it, he thinks I’m being v unreasonable.

Back story - his sister has been v sick and there is no chance of having a break this year.
So would be nice for him to get away but are 21 year olds really responsible for 2 14 year old boys.

No. Full stop.
JeffreyJefferson · 03/04/2021 23:33

@justforthisnow RTFT

Original poster
Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 23:33

Oh and by the way there is more than one type of polo.

OP posts:
justforthisnow · 03/04/2021 23:33

@Troublewaters2021

The brother is 8 years younger then me. I had already said no I said no as soon as he asked. Because of his reaction I started to think about it so I could give him the right answers as to why it wouldn’t be a good idea.

But this meant I was irresponsible allowing my son to have sex.

No 14 year old should be having sex. Regardless of location.
Original poster
Troublewaters2021 · 03/04/2021 23:35

@justforthisnow huh ??? Who said he was having sex.

OP posts:
Tankflybosswalkjam · 03/04/2021 23:36

No one did but they’re a WHOLE LOT more likely to, on a weekend away in a cottage/lodge.

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 03/04/2021 23:37

It's a bit odd a 21 YO wants this responsibility really because if hes going to really look after the children in his care he will miss out on most things a 21 YO usually wants from a holiday. Hes really not going to want to go to the bar (and if they all go can you imagine? The teenagers would have to sit away from the bar with an orange juice and wouldnt be able to stay late so would do what? Walk back across the park by themselves to hang out in the place by themselves? Go back with the brother who would likely get bored fast of being babysitter?) and is going to hang out with his little brother all the time? Some young adults are really responsible, some have kids of their own at that age, but with the mix being a group of 21 YO's and two 14 YO's it's really unlikely they'll all be responsible and not have someone do something unsafe.

justforthisnow · 03/04/2021 23:38

[quote Troublewaters2021]@justforthisnow huh ??? Who said he was having sex.[/quote]
Perfect. Then let him go. Thought you mentioned they were in a relationship, but perhaps it's a platonic one.

justforthisnow · 03/04/2021 23:39

[quote JeffreyJefferson]@justforthisnow RTFT[/quote]
Thank you Jeff, I actually did.

TippledPink · 03/04/2021 23:39

It's like people are deliberately trying to misunderstand the Op.

  1. She said she already said no to him before she posted and asked for advice.

  2. She is 8 years older than the 21 year old brother (hence she said they are 8 years younger than ME).

  3. I did assume Polo with horses at first but as soon as op mentioned he goes to the water activity centre, it's obvious he does Water Polo.

Op, I think you did the right thing, but think a suggestion that you go with them and they can meet up with the brother when there if they like is a good one.

me4real · 03/04/2021 23:43

Perfect. Then let him go. Thought you mentioned they were in a relationship, but perhaps it's a platonic one.

@justforthisnow Even if they aren't lovers, I wouldn't be letting 21 year olds on holiday look after them. I was 21 once (and not abnormal in my habits.) Maybe these 21 year olds are teetotal fundamentalist Xtians or something, but best to err on the side of caution, especially if you don't really know them.

AIMD · 03/04/2021 23:46

I would say no to him going to centre parcs.
I wouldn’t allow a 21 year old to look after my 14 year old for more than 2 night in my own home let along for longer away with a group of children/young adults.

Could you maybe agree to him going for 1 night? Drop him off early one day and pick him up late the next so he gets 2 whole days there?

I actually don’t think it’s fair on the 21 year olds, even if they are willing to do it. I would never have wanted to worry about looking after 14 year olds if I was 21 and away with friends.

I went to centre parcs when I was at uni, so around 20-21 years old. Got bladdered a d fell off my bike. Although it was fairly tame, it also wasn’t a holiday I’d want a 14 year old at.

CirqueDeMorgue · 03/04/2021 23:46

Not vile FGS. Realistic. You can bury your head in the sand and pretend all your 14 year old does with their boy/girlfriend is discuss Jane Austen, but most 14 year old couples will be snogging and probably groping each other. Add in a holiday atmosphere, alcohol, sharing a bed and no parents and inevitably you have to consider that sex may happen.

Definitely not my experience of being 14.