Am I NEVER going to be accepted fully?

[HeraInTheHereAndNow]

I posted a lot on here, years ago.

I married a man who’d been divorced 5 years. His wife had left him. He had three teenagers. I had one child who was 9 when we married. I relocated with my child two weeks before the marriage. We never lived together as we had 150 miles between us so, it was all done in one fell swoop.

DH’s teen son (18) wouldn’t acknowledge me but then, he’d stopped talking to his dad when dad started to move on from the marriage. His eldest daughter was lovely and welcoming (19). Youngest (14) was hard work but, I did understand it was hard for the and hoped it’d get better. It did until youngest refused contact for 5 yrs which was painful and shattering. Nearly split up DH and I.

One day, we all just started to “get on”. Even his youngest DD returned and we’ve had a few years of contact which has been just easy and lovely.

Now, eldest dd has had our first grandchild. Wonderful. Thanks to lockdown, we’ve only seen him 3 times in 9 months. We saw them, first opportunity, on Wednesday this week. We met up half way. Lovely day. Open air picnic. Photos. Great day.

In the evening, DSD sent us her photos. We sent them ours.

Then, DH showed me a photo shared on his and his kids What’s App. I’m not media savvy. It’s their own thing, separate from me. It’s fine. The photos he showed me from the WhatsApp, had comments about the people featured; everyone but me. Like, I’m STILL not included/the invisible woman.

I’m not sure why, but it’s really upset me. Now, 16 yrs into our marriage, I’m still not “part of it”. It was lovely that DSD shared the photos in the family “shared album” but the private one, between themselves? ... I didn’t exist.

Am I being silly?

@Teardrop2021

You just want a row. I imagine you’re either a wife whose husband has moved on or an adult who had a rubbish step parent.

You’ve not really read my posts fully. Most of what you say in your last post is a the total opposite of what happened.

@Littlepaws18... I think some people on here have assumed situations which are miles away from the reality of what’s actually happened over the past 16 yrs.

It’s laughable really, the “make an effort/accept your place...You’re trying too hard/you have no place beyond dad’s girlfriend”. I’m amazed anyone wants to take their chances in these situations. Not sure I would, again.

And Teardrop clearly has issues.

I've stepped away. I fully understand and empathise where you are coming from.

So what if other posters have different experiences about step parents - surely that's why you come on a site like this; to get a broader picture. You clearly think you have been perfect in the way you have handled everything and don't want to hear that maybe the other people in this situation could have a different perspective.
But go ahead, take offence at an innocent comment made in a chat you weren't even part of - you're clearly looking for reasons to be offended.

HeraInTheHereAndNow actually truth be told My DS does have a step mother and she's lovely caring woman, we get in very well and DS also has a step father (my DH)both have been in DS live from the age of 2 and have formed a bond with him from him being a young child he's now 13 so you couldn't be further from the truth. In all honestly you seem to be extremely hardwork and don't want to take on aboard any POV anyone has. I imagine they are very frustrated that when they see there DF you are there which is encouraged by your dp. Sometimes a child just wants to spend time with their parent especially when they were sharing a moment like a grandchild but you were included and still have the audacity to moan why they talk about the pictures I'm their what's app group. They can't even have that proud parent moment with their father.

ThereOnceWasANote

So what if other posters have different experiences about step parents - surely that's why you come on a site like this; to get a broader picture. You clearly think you have been perfect in the way you have handled everything and don't want to hear that maybe the other people in this situation could have a different perspective.
But go ahead, take offence at an innocent
comment made in a chat you weren't even part of - you're clearly looking for reasons to be offended

100 percent this but given ops reponses it won't sink in or give her perspective on the situation.