AIBU For not wanting people to let there dogs jump up me or my children?

[ILoveMyMonkey]

Why do people let their dogs jump up into children’s faces and then use the excuse “but it’s only a puppy” as though that justifies it!
Prime example today, nice country walk with Dh and DS8 minding our own business. Stop to look at the view and this dog comes trotting over. Immediately heads for DS who does not like dogs at all. He stands still and the bloody thing leaps up him inches from his face. I stick my leg between him and the dog so it’s now leaning on my leg and move my leg away from DS to kind of use my leg to lever it away - did not kick or injure it at all. Owner comes over after a few mins and moves dog away with her. Then mutters under her breath about me kicking the dog. I told her I didn’t kick the dog and it shouldn’t have jumped up at DS to which she trots out the age old line of “it’s only a puppy!” So put it on a lead until you can control it then.

Why don’t these people ever just say sorry my dog jumped up at your kids face! Rather than blaming you for simple being there!!!!

Grrrr rant over.

@AvocadosBeforeMortgages

I can understand not wanting dogs to jump up at you - but I wish people could understand that not every dog wants to be stroked by them. Mine literally isn't interested - he will walk past people, even those trying to attract his attention, like they don't even exist. Not something I've trained by the way, it's just in his nature! Yet still, I've had children chasing him, sometimes even when I've told them not to. I've even had parents actively encouraging their toddler to go over and stroke him without asking me - or my dog - if he wanted to be touched. If I touched their child in the way they touch my dog, I'd be prosecuted.

Dogs - even when adults - have the cognitive abilities of a 3-4 year old child. If you can honestly say your 3-4 year old child never once did something naughty, then you must have an exceptionally compliant child. Every so often a dog may - like a small child - do something they know full well they shouldn't.

People in glass houses...

It's not a case of people in glass houses.

You're talking about two different types of people. The type of child who is scared/wary of dogs aren't the type who are going to go up to a strange dog and stroke it are they.

[quote AvocadosBeforeMortgages]**@LolaSmiles clearly didn’t say that. People need to use some common sense. If your child is terrified of dogs, don’t take it where there are likely to be.... loads of dogs 🙄

I wonder if these people would take a child who was afraid of clowns to the circus, and then complain about the presence of clowns...[/quote]
The dog that started my toddler's fear came up to her and got in her face while she was on her scuttlebug trike at the local marina. Other places we've had problems have included the coastal walk at either end of said marina, a pier, a tiny beach literally named for children throwing stones in the water and a little forest. All in a suburban town, all in less than a fifteen minute walk from our house on a residential street surrounded by other residential streets. These are perfectly reasonable places to bring a child of any age for a walk, and not in any way suitable for dogs to be off lead if they're not going to stay with their owners. A number of the places I listed above have signage that dogs should be on leads, but as ever it's the shit owners that take no notice and ruin it for everyone.

I am a dog owner but this annoys me and especially letting their dog run up to mine who can be snappy if she feels cornered.

I had an incident recently of tied up dog outside our local Tesco try and attack my two year old Dd. The owner didn't seem that bothered just said "oh he's never done that before"

My 2 year old is scared of dogs because of this and I'm furious! I love dogs, we'd like one one day, but now I have to work through this fear with her because of other people's poor owner behaviour

The dog that started my toddler's fear came up to her and got in her face while she was on her scuttlebug trike at the local marina. Other places we've had problems have included the coastal walk at either end of said marina, a pier, a tiny beach literally named for children throwing stones in the water and a little forest. All in a suburban town, all in less than a fifteen minute walk from our house on a residential street surrounded by other residential streets. These are perfectly reasonable places to bring a child of any age for a walk, and not in any way suitable for dogs to be off lead if they're not going to stay with their owners.
A number of the places I listed above have signage that dogs should be on leads, but as ever it's the shit owners that take no notice and ruin it for everyone
Again, someone else missing the point.

I wasn't commenting that dogs should be off lead everywhere. I've also said some owners are irresponsible, and outlined my own gripes with irresponsible owner, but yet again this is missed.

I was joking about the sheer number of posters on here who apparently fall apart at the mere sight of a dog, they're trembling and shaking, utterly terrified at the sight of a dog, especially one off lead... but then they choose to go to places where dogs are regularly exercised.

For people who apparently have such an intense emotional reaction to seeing off lead dogs (so much that they're often proposing banning off lead exercise, or in more extreme cases banning dogs from anywhere other than private grounds), it sure is a bit strange that they would repeatedly go places where you'd expect to see dogs being exercised in a way that is totally reasonable and within the law.

I was joking about the sheer number of posters on here who apparently fall apart at the mere sight of a dog, they're trembling and shaking, utterly terrified at the sight of a dog, especially one off lead... but then they choose to go to places where dogs are regularly exercised.

You're completely missing my point. I now have a child who is scared of dogs because of walks in a normal suburban seaside area. Where exactly do you think we should be going, are we allowed outdoors? I highly doubt that posters who are scared of dogs or whose children are scared of dogs are going to dog parks or areas where dogs are encouraged to be off lead and run around. They're going to shared spaces like parks, beaches, coastal walks, high streets (!) and can reasonably expect not to be approached by strange dogs.

YANBU. I have started jogging & in the space of a week I had 3 dogs run to me & start jumping up. I don't feel comfortable around dogs however small they are. One dog just wouldn't leave me alone despite the owner calling it several times, I was waiting for her to come & pick it up, instead she said just carry on running, if you kick her it's her fault

You're completely missing my point. I now have a child who is scared of dogs because of walks in a normal suburban seaside area. Where exactly do you think we should be going, are we allowed outdoors? I highly doubt that posters who are scared of dogs or whose children are scared of dogs are going to dog parks or areas where dogs are encouraged to be off lead and run around. They're going to shared spaces like parks, beaches, coastal walks, high streets (!) and can reasonably expect not to be approached by strange dogs.
Not missing the point at all.

You haven't written a post full of hyperbole and dramatics (the very thing I was amused by), though I'm not sure why you're going on about your right not to be approached by off lead dogs. That wasn't even what I was talking about.

Only on MN dog threads can you point out the lack of logic in being apparently quaking with fear at the sight of an off lead dog whilst repeatedly going places where dogs can be, and are, legally exercised off lead and get the responses:

• haha how far gone are you, you think humans should make way for dogs
• but where should we go, we have a right not to be approached by off lead dogs

... when nobody's saying humans make way for dogs, and nobody is saying off lead dogs should be allowed to jump and pounce.

I used to be scared of dogs, like your DC. Like your DC, I went to beaches and parks and was wary of dogs. They are, however, places where people are allowed to exercise their dogs off lead though. Crucially, and this is what people on these threads seem incapable of accepting, accepting that off lead exercise is perfectly reasonable and within the law is not saying it's ok for dogs to be charging at or jumping at people.

Surely if someone if utterly terrified at the very thought of seeing some dogs minding their own business off lead, they'd not be going somewhere fellow citizens are behaving within the law?

I was pointing out the hyperbole and lack of logic on here from people who:
A) sit on mumsnet claiming they are shaking with fear and positively stop functioning at the mere sight of a dog who is nowhere near them and minding their own business,
But also
B) apparently can't help but be regularly in places where there's known to be dogs existing

Wow, how horrible can you be.

I have PTSD after being attacked by an off-leash pitbull and get triggered by off leash dogs, or by dogs barking.

The only way to avoid dogs would be to shut myself at home for the rest of my life. They are everywhere. If I walk to the closest shop (2 mins away) I will often encounter multiple dogs. Walking to the bus for work, I encounter dogs. Leave the office, in the middle of a city, to grab some lunch - dogs. They are often off-leash, even in the city.

I do sometimes even dare to go for a walk, but I'm hyper-aware of dogs everywhere and it does sap the enjoyment. I've put on a lot of weight due to my reduced ability to exercise.

A lot of people have dog phobias or dog related mental health conditions but (unfortunately) dogs monopolize public space and cant realistically be avoided. That we still try to continue to exist in the world doesnt negate our trauma, nor is it an invitation for spiteful comments.

My 18 months old has had two dogs jump up and lick his face in the past month when we've been out for walks, thankfully he's not scared of them but I find it gross!
I used to be really scared of dogs when I was younger and always notice and appreciate when an owner with a dog off their lead makes an effort to keep the dog under control as me and my ds walk past or they walk past us.

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Do you sit online arguing that people who are perfectly reasonably exercising their dogs within the law are unreasonable though?
Would you be sitting on various mumsnet threads telling people that they're out of order for their dogs minding their own business off lead because you had a bad experience?

That attack sounds horrible and I'm not surprised you're scared. From your post it sounds like you are reasonable and accept that people can exercise their dogs off lead, and that you understand that there's a difference between off lead and out of control. It sounds like you accept that we all have to accept that there's lots of people in public spaces and not all of them will be doing things we like.

Unfortunately there's a large number of posters on here who don't have your insight and deliberately confuse off lead with out of control and speak in hyperbole as a way to avoid the fact that off lead exercise is entirely allowed within the law.

LolaSmiles
Honestly I'd love to see more restrictions on where dogs are able to be off-leash because for every 'under control' off-leash dog there's another that will run up to you. It's also near impossible to distinguish a dog that will approach you from one that wont, so if you're scared of dogs, any off-leash dog if a potential danger.

I do consider dog ownership to be generally anti-social and long for the day they lose popularity. Until then, I'd love to see legislative changes so that humans can enjoy at least some public spaces without having to deal with dogs.

Absolutely out of order. I did what you did with your leg to another dog that came up to mine on the lead. Tough if they don't like it. It seems bad atm for people having out of control dogs. My dog can be funny but I never let him say hello to other dogs. Yet the amount of others that just seem to do what they want! Pees me of. My dog luckily doesn't approach people. But if he's near a family with a picnic or walking nearby to a child who clearly looks scared- i call him back and give them a wide berth. Better to be safe.

If I were you - next time it starts to happen- before the dog gets to you - shout loudly to the owner to please call their dog back because you child doesn't like dogs. Then if you have to stick your leg out, its their own bloody fault. People are rude.

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I'd be in favour of more dog free spaces actually.
There's one park near me that I take DC to and it specifically says on lead dogs only. I don't take mine there because they enjoy off lead exercise in big open spaces. Unfortunately the park has a problem with some owners of largely smaller dogs who seem to think that the on lead rule doesn't apply to small dogs . It would be much easier to say the whole park is dog free in my opinion.
My main objection on many of these sorts of threads is that some posters seem to compete to be as emotive and full of hyperbole as possible in order to mask the fact that they're objecting to perfectly reasonable and legal off lead dog exercise, and then they deliberately conflate off lead and out of control to suit their agenda.

@ReassuringlyExpensive

@LolaSmiles clearly didn’t say that. People need to use some common sense. If your child is terrified of dogs, don’t take it where there are likely to be.... loads of dogs

There's loads of dogs everywhere!

Just for clarity, are you suggesting children who don't like dogs shouldn't ever go to the park?

Would love a sincere answer to this.

Hard hat ready! Why do people get dogs so big they can't even control on a lead? I've seen lots of owners being half dragged by "excitable" dogs.
Plus, what's the point of a retractable lead if you don't retract the bloody lead so the dog still jumps up at people / others nearly trip over it?

YANBU. The least a person whose dog does such behaviour is apologise and then keep their dog on a lead after that.

Just for clarity, are you suggesting children who don't like dogs shouldn't ever go to the park?
Would love a sincere answer to this.

Not at all.
I'm saying that there are things we don't like in life, but are totally legal and reasonable for others to do.
So either accept you don't like dogs, but it's perfectly legal and reasonable for them to exercised off lead in places, and accept that part of being in a public space is rubbing along with others using the space in ways you might not choose to, or (if it is such a big issue that you need to write highly emotive posts full of hyperbole about how nobody should ever have dogs off lead because you don't like them) decide that you're going to go to places that don't allow off lead dogs as that reduces the likelihood of you coming into contact with one.

As someone who was scared of dogs and would freeze with my heart racing, I still chose the former because it was a fear, not a phobia and ultimately there was no reason to expect other people to adjust their reasonable and legal behaviour around my preferences.

Plus, what's the point of a retractable lead if you don't retract the bloody lead so the dog still jumps up at people / others nearly trip over it?
Don't even get me started.
This is one of my pet hates. I have off lead dogs who will walk to heel, but in some people's minds my dogs are out of control, feral, predatory, obviously about to pounce on people (who are half a field away), but if you've got a lead on then then that solves the 'problem'.

I've had many a discussion with owners of dogs on retractable leads about how a retractable lead is not a substitute for proper training.

I had an incident a few months ago where we were about to head out in the car so the baby was in her car seat in the hallway. DH opened the front door to begin the loading up process and a dog came flying up the path and into our house. Luckily I was standing right by the car seat so whipped her up into the air as he jumped up around my legs. He then charged around the house until DH managed to usher him back out. It transpired he belonged to some new people a few doors down who offered no apology whatsoever-I was gobsmacked.
I like dogs but I'm so wary of them when out - you just never know how they might behave.

@poppycat10

Because, OP, we live in the age of the cult of the dog. Everyone has to love dogs and if you don't, you need to visit your GP and get help "for your anxiety" (or in your case, your dd's).

Dogs should be under control at all times. The majority of dog owners are responsible, but some are arses.

^This sums it up nicely.

It's time we had a law to ensure that dogs should be kept on leads at all times when in a public place.

@LolaSmiles

I'm not convinced you are aware of the law when it comes to dog-handling. This is a useful website, if you are unclear:

www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/controlling-your-dog-public

Some of the directives include:

• Councils have bye-laws to show the areas where leashing is required, such as in public parks.

• It is an offence to allow a dog to behave in such a way that makes a person worried that it might attack them.

It really is clear as mud.

It is clear.
Dogs mustn’t be allowed to behave in a way that makes people fear for their safety.

therestissilence
I am aware of it, and have no time for dog owners who have their dogs off lead where they shouldn't. I'm not, and will never, defend irresponsible dog ownership.

The second bullet point came up on another thread because a poster argued that it would count if they didn't like the look of someone across a field. My understanding is like with many applications of law, the whole situation is looked at. If there was actually a case that anyone could walk into an area and demand prosecution because a dog was off lead and they don't like it then it would be quite the legal precedent. I'd be very surprised if anyone successfully argued that owners minding their own business, exercising their dogs in an open space, where off lead exercise is allowed was against the law simply because they don't like the presence of any off lead dog.

YANBU. I have a dog now, but was scared of dogs when I was younger. They shouldn’t jump up at people, ever. I can generally tell when people are happy to be approached by a dog and when they aren’t- their body language shows if they are wary (especially children). When I see that, I call my dog to my side and he walks right next to me until we’ve passed the person. If they look really uneasy, I’ll put him on the lead and give them a very wide berth so he is nowhere near them.

When he was younger and before I got a good handle on his recall, he did on a couple of occasions approach people who didn’t want to be approached. He didn’t jump up at them, but even so, on both occasions I apologised to the people he had approached.