AIBU For not wanting people to let there dogs jump up me or my children?

[ILoveMyMonkey]

Why do people let their dogs jump up into children’s faces and then use the excuse “but it’s only a puppy” as though that justifies it!
Prime example today, nice country walk with Dh and DS8 minding our own business. Stop to look at the view and this dog comes trotting over. Immediately heads for DS who does not like dogs at all. He stands still and the bloody thing leaps up him inches from his face. I stick my leg between him and the dog so it’s now leaning on my leg and move my leg away from DS to kind of use my leg to lever it away - did not kick or injure it at all. Owner comes over after a few mins and moves dog away with her. Then mutters under her breath about me kicking the dog. I told her I didn’t kick the dog and it shouldn’t have jumped up at DS to which she trots out the age old line of “it’s only a puppy!” So put it on a lead until you can control it then.

Why don’t these people ever just say sorry my dog jumped up at your kids face! Rather than blaming you for simple being there!!!!

Grrrr rant over.

Yanbu. I was out with my 2 year old daughter one day when we came across a big dog off the lead. This dog started barking and growling right in my daughters face and baring his teeth at her. Naturally, my daughter was petrified, as was I and she started screaming and I pulled her away into my arms while the dog carried on barking at her. The owner got so cross with my daughter for screaming and started having a go at me and telling me "he won't hurt her for gods sake". My daughter now hates dogs because of this incident. Also had a small dog come and cock his leg at me and take a wee on me while I was having a picnic!! Much to my sons amusement

@Scottishskifun that’s a shame, re no classes even via zoom, least now things have lifted you can find someone to help you, although you said your dog Walker is a trainer too?..I’m from up north originally although more near Inverness than Aberdeen.

I’ve been really lucky that I have my sister for help, she’s inundated with puppies for training every class is full and this is a side job as such her main job is with dogs but in a different capacity. At least some people are trying to get their pups trained. With my pup he gets very high when taken out so the main things to empty his bucket as such are sniffing, licking & chewing. So we let him walk around a field on lead having a good sniff or sit on a bench so he can take it all in, this takes his arousal levels down and he calms so he can walk nicely then I let him sniff (on command) when I feel he’s getting worked up again. Letting them full on to whatever fills their bucket is too much that’s why they go bonkers jumping up or being ott or aggressive to other dogs. It’s a slow process but our boy is so much better and when you put the work in it does pay off.

@LolaSmiles

IloveMyMonkey I didn't mean you said that, more it's likely to end up yet another thread full of people making that argument.

It's like dog thread bingo on most of these threads. By page 10 someone will have mentioned that they're always having their picnics stolen, someone else will insist that all dogs should be on a lead because they consider too close to be a dog minding it's business half a field away, someone else will probably engage the hyperbole of how they're positively shaking with fear and hyperventilating at the mere sight of a dog (but despite this apparently debilitating phobia they repeatedly opt to go places known for the presence of dogs, something someone with a real phobia wouldn't do), usually a few posters will decide that the mountains of dog poo is proof that the majority of owners don't clean up their dog poo (without thinking that common sense suggests several million dogs would create a hell of a lot of poo).

FWIW, I used to be scared of dogs & am now a responsible dog owner.

I couldn’t agree more. So much hyperbole on this thread

[quote therestissilence]**@LolaSmiles

(but despite this apparently debilitating phobia they repeatedly opt to go places known for the presence of dogs, something someone with a real phobia wouldn't do)

Haha, this one always makes me laugh. How far gone some of you are! The suggestion that dogs hold priority in public spaces, and that it's humans who should make way.... you really couldn't make it up.[/quote]
@LolaSmiles clearly didn’t say that. People need to use some common sense. If your child is terrified of dogs, don’t take it where there are likely to be.... loads of dogs 🙄

This also angers me. I had words with a lady a few weeks back that let her dog jump up on my nearly 2yr old and knocker her over which terrified her. Suffice to say I got the dog by the collar and pulled it off and had some strong words with the owner. We have a dog in the family and she is very small and friendly but we under no circumstances let her jump up at people, especially children because THEY don't know she's friendly and would hurt a fly. And also some people simply don't like dogs or being near them.

I am still mildly scared of dogs after a dog jumped up and licked my face when I was 4. I’m 57 now and remember it vividly.

YANBU...our neighbours like to let the dog prance around the front of their house if they’re e.g washing the car, sorting the garage etc. There have been several times where we’ve come out of the house to go out and the dog has come straight over to dd and jumped up and she’s got upset/squealed etc.

It’s sad because it comes from under-exposure to dogs more than anything, we’ve never had one, neither has any family. But we should still be able to go out our front door without risk of a dog jumping to on us.

ReassuringlyExpensive
Yes, the response to me laughing at the hyperbole of some people somewhat added to my point, didn't it?

People with genuine phobias won't be going places where their triggers are on a regular basis because they have a phobia. A good 90% of the posters on here who talk about shaking with fear, trembling with panic, terrified of feral predators 'close by' quite clearly translates as "I don't really like dogs, and would rather not see off lead dogs, but rather than accept we all have to get along in life with things not to our preference, I shall talk in hyperbole about how utterly terrifying everything because the more emotional I sound people might avoid pointing out that what I want is the world to run according to my preferences".

I'd like people not to use retractable leads in many places as I find them more of an annoyance than off lead dogs. I also accept that other people do things differently and the world doesn't run according to my preferences, something many posters don't seem to grasp.

I'm obviously one of those rare people (in mumsnet terms) who don't mind if friendly dogs run over and jump up.

I also wouldn't wear clothes i was worried about getting dirty, on a country walk 🤷‍♀️

YANBU. Dogs are becoming a total menace these days.

YANBU. I was in the city centre recently and a dog with dirty paws ran off and jumped up at me while I was waiting to cross the road. Not what I wanted when I was in normal (i.e. non-country walk type) clothes. Dangerous for the dog to be off leash so near the traffic too!

DD hates dogs and it really ruins walks for her - try finding somewhere dog-free to walk these days!

YADNBU.

I am a dog owner and LOVE dogs. But I keep mine on leads 95% of the time on walks, I will let them off in quiet fields where there aren't really any people about. I have also mastered recall training to the best of my ability! This is mainly for safety reasons but also because not everyone else wants to say hello to my ridiculous dogs (and those of anyone else's!)

So here is an unpopular opinion and my judgy pants are going on now: the rise in lockdown puppies has seen an increase in bad dog ownership. A lot of dogs/puppies acquired in lockdown haven't been socialised or trained properly and therefore are quite nervous around other people and dogs, which in turn makes the other people and dogs around them nervous. I don't really believe in badly behaved dogs, but mainly badly behaved owners!

Not to tar everyone with the same brush, of course. But no OP, you are right to feel annoyed at these people.

@ReassuringlyExpensive but for us that is quite literally not wandering off our property. Which is not acceptable. We should all be able to use open space courteously and considerately.

A bouncy dog with poor recall bounding up to small children is an owner being discourteous. And a dog that is not under control. I was thinking about this earlier - I think the crux of the issue is that in this situation I have to manage the children, that is my role. But very often I find I am left to manage the children and a marauding hound until the owner actually notices. And very often they don’t care and don’t even try to help.

We went to the beach this morning. I picked what I expected to be a dog free beach, conveniently forgetting it is not yet May. There were many many dogs. Probably a hundred in the time we spent there. We had a really good morning, successfully managing child’s anxiety, and he was able to relax and play. This was only possible because the dog people were being super attentive and responsible with their dogs. The problem is, he doesn’t remember the many dogs who have not been a problem, he only remembers the small minority who have been aggressive and out of control. And these incidents are becoming more frequent.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/apr/04/if-your-dog-goes-for-my-sheep-then-i-will-shoot-uk-farmers-warn-walkers

Is this hyperbole?

I can understand not wanting dogs to jump up at you - but I wish people could understand that not every dog wants to be stroked by them. Mine literally isn't interested - he will walk past people, even those trying to attract his attention, like they don't even exist. Not something I've trained by the way, it's just in his nature! Yet still, I've had children chasing him, sometimes even when I've told them not to. I've even had parents actively encouraging their toddler to go over and stroke him without asking me - or my dog - if he wanted to be touched. If I touched their child in the way they touch my dog, I'd be prosecuted.

Dogs - even when adults - have the cognitive abilities of a 3-4 year old child. If you can honestly say your 3-4 year old child never once did something naughty, then you must have an exceptionally compliant child. Every so often a dog may - like a small child - do something they know full well they shouldn't.

People in glass houses...

Is this hyperbole?
Dogs shouldn't be worrying livestock. It's as simple as that.

My issue is with some mumsnetters who insist on phrasing every encounter in the most hyperbole over emotive way they can, but then for people who shake, quake, tremor with fear at the mere sight of a dog seem to regularly choose to go places where it's reasonable to see dogs.

I don't think anyone denies some owners are irresponsible.

@LolaSmiles clearly didn’t say that. People need to use some common sense. If your child is terrified of dogs, don’t take it where there are likely to be.... loads of dogs 🙄

I wonder if these people would take a child who was afraid of clowns to the circus, and then complain about the presence of clowns...

@Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady
I also wouldn't wear clothes i was worried about getting dirty, on a country walk 🤷‍♀️

You’ve missed the entire point. Why should my child have to put up with dogs leaping into his face - that is not ok. We don’t go out on country walks in our Sunday best, we aren’t worried about getting muddy or coming across well behaved off lead dogs who ignore us, we don’t mind sharing the space with other people and there pets but equally we don’t expect or want dogs jumping all over us and into the face of my child - how are we supposed to know what that dog might do. It’s about mutual respect, if my kid was leaping all over strangers and up into their faces I’m sure they’d have something to say about it, quite rightly.

*their not there

@1Morewineplease

I'm going to derail this by saying that I'm fed up of parents telling their toddlers /young children to 'go and stroke the lovely doggie' when I'm out with my dog. My dog doesn't like young children, he cowers and hides behind me, yet parents expect me to cajole him to be pleasant to their children 🙄

And yes, I was badly bitten by a dog as a four year old and my , then, 3 year old daughter was knocked over by a large breed and mauled. ( Thankfully not badly.)

I can see both points of view.

We’ve experienced this a few times. We had an incident at some traffic lights on Friday, waiting for the green man and our dog who is trained to sit and wait jumped up and yelped. A child of about 7/8 was holding his tail very tightly, mum did not give a shit and completely ignored her son, dad made a very meek attempt to do something. Yet when their little darling eventually gets bitten it won’t be their cruel behaviour that gets blamed.

Also had problems of children running up and trying to stroke him, its very rare for a child to calmly approach us and then ask to stroke the dog.

Although we won’t top our park incident where a woman started screaming at us because we had an extremely aggressive banned dog. In reality we had a 15 week old Shiba Inu that was sat on my partners lap 😂

I have a young dog, and we are staying on lead/long-line and interactions are supervised when out in public spaces, until she is trained.
YANBU

Oooooh, a shiba inu! I love those dogs, they're beautiful.

Absolutely right, children should be taught how to approach (and not to approach) dogs.

The ill controlled and out of control dogs seem to be proliferating though, from my observations of a very popular common. And I can just how irate it's making the responsible dogwalkers, when they and their dogs are harassed by those who haven't been properly trained, and are not under effective control.

I love dogs. I'm not afraid of dogs. But I don't want to have to interact with a strange dog that I have no way of knowing how aggressive or reactive it is. And I'm not going to assume that Fido is perfectly friendly just because Fido is not on a leash - and is approaching me with something that could be a friendly grin, or could be a hungry mouth. . .

You’ve missed the entire point. Why should my child have to put up with dogs leaping into his face - that is not ok. We don’t go out on country walks in our Sunday best, we aren’t worried about getting muddy or coming across well behaved off lead dogs who ignore us

I was responding to a PP that said about getting dirty clothes because dogs jumped up on a country walk.

Sorry I wasn't addressing your original post but threads do evolve!

But in response to what you said, it wouldn't bother me personally if friendly dogs ran up to my child but then I'm a dog person. I've never come across a friendly dog "leaping" at a child's face. If I had perhaps I'd have a different opinion.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with what you are saying, it just doesn't bother me

AvocadosBeforeMortgages
I wondered that, then come on mumsnet to write a thread about quaking at the presence of clowns and why circus groups should really do clown free performances to account for the fact that some people don't like clowns.

How about hating creepy crawlies, having such a fear of them you can't move, but going to the insect house at the zoo and then complaining that the crawlies were too creepy.

FWIW, I used to be really scared of dogs, but not a phobia. I'd feel scared and jumpy if dogs were too close and I hated it when random dogs jumped up (and I still have a low tolerance for people with jumping boisterous dogs now as a dog owner). I didn't moan about other people having dogs in parks though because ultimately it was my hangup, and not the responsibility of every dog owner to avoid reasonable exercise within the law just because I didn't like dogs.

I agree with you op- dogs should be under control and not jump up at total strangers!

Owners like this give all dog owners a bad name.