AIBU For not wanting people to let there dogs jump up me or my children?

[ILoveMyMonkey]

Why do people let their dogs jump up into children’s faces and then use the excuse “but it’s only a puppy” as though that justifies it!
Prime example today, nice country walk with Dh and DS8 minding our own business. Stop to look at the view and this dog comes trotting over. Immediately heads for DS who does not like dogs at all. He stands still and the bloody thing leaps up him inches from his face. I stick my leg between him and the dog so it’s now leaning on my leg and move my leg away from DS to kind of use my leg to lever it away - did not kick or injure it at all. Owner comes over after a few mins and moves dog away with her. Then mutters under her breath about me kicking the dog. I told her I didn’t kick the dog and it shouldn’t have jumped up at DS to which she trots out the age old line of “it’s only a puppy!” So put it on a lead until you can control it then.

Why don’t these people ever just say sorry my dog jumped up at your kids face! Rather than blaming you for simple being there!!!!

Grrrr rant over.

Dogs should be on short leads in public places (those stretchy things offer little control once the dogs jumped up). I'm afraid of dogs after being bitten by one off lead.
Yes - the cult of the dog where so few ever admit it's their dog that craps on the pavement or grass, or barks when in the garden and think that total strangers want their dog jumping all over them.

This is a huge problem now. So many people have had lockdown puppies ( how?) yet they can't be bothered to train them. They just think that they'll somehow 'grow up!'

I find it odd that so many young dogs , now, are hugely aggressive when you pass any where near them, with or without a dog with you.

Needless to say, the majority of these aggressive dogs seem to be one of these new cross breads. Owners generally laugh and say that their bark is worse than their bite. My arse.

I once kicked a dog really hard when it tried to bite my son as he was toddling along by his pushchair. It was a kneejerk protective action and it went flying. The owner was nowhere in sight when it happened and I think that’s part of the problem - far too many idiots let their dogs off leads and then let them wander off like they’re children instead of animals. I could have killed that dog and walked off and the owner wouldn’t have even realised.

Lock down hasn't just affected people it's affecting pets as well. With no training classes on its no wonder there are issues with poorly trained dogs.

My dog has gone backwards with hers as we have taken a wide berth of people with other dogs on walks for so long she now sees other dogs as a threat and automatically goes into protecting mode especially of our toddler.

It's never OK for a dog to approach a unknown child. We have had a few jump up at our toddler luckily he is used to a large dog so knows to stand still not react etc but my dog in return has pinned a few of the untrained pups down much to the horror of the owner and I refuse to apologise for her doing so!

@LolaSmiles

Haha, this one always makes me laugh. How far gone some of you are! The suggestion that dogs hold priority in public spaces, and that it's humans who should make way.... you really couldn't make it up. The funny thing is you're totally missing the point. I wasn't saying humans should make way.

But thank you for ticking another one off my bingo list where some people think apparently the whole world revolves around dogs.

I was pointing out the hyperbole and lack of logic on here from people who:
A) sit on mumsnet claiming they are shaking with fear and positively stop functioning at the mere sight of a dog who is nowhere near them and minding their own business,
But also
B) apparently can't help but be regularly in places where there's known to be dogs existing

It seems a bit strange to me that anyone with such an apparently debilitating phobia that they can't manage to exist in a public space with other people who are minding their own business
would regularly go places that are full of the very trigger that sends them into a shaking spin of fear.

It's not about humans making way for dogs. It's about some people making absolutely no sense.

I'm not sure you really understand what it's like to live with and manage a phobia in life. It wouldn't be sensible to completely avoid a trigger, the point is to not let the phobia dictate how you live. If you have a phobia of dogs and go to a park with dogs that doesn't mean you don't have a real phobia of dogs it means you're trying live a reasonable life with the phobia

@Ohpulltheotherone

Well yes I agree. I am a dog owner and it does happen unfortunately. I have two small children and my dogs are therefore very accustomed to kids, they rarely jump up but can get in the way sometimes.

Something happened to me recently where I had my two dogs off the lead and they ran up to and barked at a man coming out of a dark alleyway, wearing a hat and a big coat. They were spooked, not aggressive but did bark a warning.
I IMMEDIATELY apologised and went to put both on leads. He made a comment about them being under control - they were under control but seeing a dark figure emerging from an alley with no noise or warning they were clearly reacting in a totally usual way, not out of control AT ALL.
Again I apologised and he continued to make snidey remarks even when I had them back on leads and heading in the opposite direction.

Literally no harm done at all, there was no aggression just a 5 seconds of a bark.
Even if he got a shock, I apologised immediately as I appreciate it might startle someone who is not used to dogs. But my apology wasn’t enough.
I personally don’t like men skulking around in black coats and hats and hoods in the dark but hey, I have to live with that bc it’s part of our accepted culture. The same as pet dogs are.

So no I don’t think yabu to want an apology if it does happen. So long as you then don’t continue to mouth off at the owner.

I think dogs senses are more alert in the dark and so it's probably wise to be.on a lead. My Son was recently cornered by a small dog who was spooked by him running past it's owners, we have been past this dog before but I think the fact that it was dark made it react. My son froze in fear when it barked at him but that made the dog even more spooked and that's when it backed him up against a wall barking. It didn't bite him but he was in a state of fear for a long time after and his poor legs were like jelly. I'm sure this dog wouldn't have done it during the day

@LolaSmiles once upon a time I would possibly agree that it’s sensible for dog phobic people to avoid areas known for being particularly doggy. But since lockdown that would literally mean never leaving our house. I still avoid the areas of the park where there are big open fields known for dog running, but it is unreasonable to expect my children to not need their own access to green space. Every incident that has been problematic of late (and that has been pretty much every time we’ve gone out) has been on a busy access path that is crowded enough without some dickhead and their asbodog making life unpleasant for everyone else.

I don’t let my dogs jump up at anyone but I can’t stop your children from coming up to my dogs, in which case they might then as it’s close contact and they think the kid wants to fuss

We do mainly early morning countryside walks and rarely come across this. Most dogs are off lead and running around enjoying themselves but the second a dog heads your way it is called back. In contrast when we have been later in the day to more popular places we find the poorly trained dogs with people limply calling doggykins who is completely ignoring them.

To those who think people should stay out of places where dogs go if they don't like being approached by dogs - no sort your animal out and if you are not prepared to train it, don't have one.

@Scottishskifun, there are/were training classes on, When we couldn’t do them in person we did online zoom classes and did all the homework during the week prior to next one. My Sister is running 6 classes in person today. There’s no excuse to have a poorly trained dog if you really put the effort in (not saying your dog is poorly trained more re puppies who need basic training & socialisation) I just think if I can manage to train my puppy and put the effort in to make sure he’s not an arse on walks then others can too, I don’t want a dog who is scared of other dogs or can’t be off lead I don’t understand people who just hope their dog will train itself. I also don’t let him off near kids I have 4 of my own and 2 are quite fearful of other dogs.

We are off for a walk soon whilst it’s cool and quiet as it was so warm and busy yesterday he was a bit overwhelmed. I used to keep our old dog close as I didn’t like other dogs approaching him or kids who loved to hug him because he was a big soft golden retriever amazing the amount of parents who let their kids just wander over and cuddle him.

I am a dog owner and don't appreciate being jumped up at by a random dog never mind if I was a small child - would be terrifying. I remember when our dog had major surgery (50/50 chance of survival) we gingerly walked him out of the vets to try and have a wee on the grass provided. A dog came bounding over from the other side of the car park - we were terrified this dog could damage the stitches and drain our dog had so we're shouting to please put on a lead and standing in front of our poor dog to protect him. The owner was put off that we didn't want them to play

@Crappyfridays7 I agree that people should put the effort into training I think it's dependent on the area of what's offered though there wasn't zoom ones up here.

My dog is a neurotic rescue so whilst we have done lots and lots of training with her she was never socialised properly initially. With lock down and avoiding people and their dogs she has taken this as thinking she needs to go into protective mode so hair raised on her coat automatically aware etc. We have been working on it and she's also going out with a experienced dog walker (who also does training) to try and improve it.

I’m in Scotland and yes there was (she had people from all over doing them)
Sister trains in Glasgow/west of Scotland and if it’s important for welfare of your dog you can travel for training if it’s necessary to your dogs well-being. I’m in Stirling and the training centre here was doing online classes too. I think if you’re dedicated to your pup & having a well rounded dog you will seek out training.

It might be your dog will always be a bit neurotic, hopefully it calm down though. My pup isn’t perfect he’s fearful of traffic, weirdly so was my old boy but he settled as he got older. He was ex guide dog pup and trained in middle of nowhere and was a nightmare for a long time, didn’t pass training obviously but was hard work to get him to be ok walking on pavements. Good luck with your dog :-)

@Trying2310 that is terrible, your poor DS. The fact you were in a lead only area makes it even worse, why are these people so entitled that the rules don’t apply to them! It makes me so angry.

@Springchickpea that’s awful, your poor DS. Someone further upthread said that they always take a walking pole out with them, I wonder if a huge stick/pole might give your son a bit more confidence when leaving the house to keep puppies at bay.

@Ohpulltheotherone

Well yes I agree. I am a dog owner and it does happen unfortunately. I have two small children and my dogs are therefore very accustomed to kids, they rarely jump up but can get in the way sometimes.

Something happened to me recently where I had my two dogs off the lead and they ran up to and barked at a man coming out of a dark alleyway, wearing a hat and a big coat. They were spooked, not aggressive but did bark a warning.
I IMMEDIATELY apologised and went to put both on leads. He made a comment about them being under control - they were under control but seeing a dark figure emerging from an alley with no noise or warning they were clearly reacting in a totally usual way, not out of control AT ALL.
Again I apologised and he continued to make snidey remarks even when I had them back on leads and heading in the opposite direction.

Literally no harm done at all, there was no aggression just a 5 seconds of a bark.
Even if he got a shock, I apologised immediately as I appreciate it might startle someone who is not used to dogs. But my apology wasn’t enough.
I personally don’t like men skulking around in black coats and hats and hoods in the dark but hey, I have to live with that bc it’s part of our accepted culture. The same as pet dogs are.

So no I don’t think yabu to want an apology if it does happen. So long as you then don’t continue to mouth off at the owner.

So people aren’t allowed to wears hats and big coats and walk in alleys?! The point is that the man was quiet, but your dogs barked. The equivalent would have been him running out of the alley screaming at you and your dogs. Even 5 seconds of that would be pretty scary.

It’s good that you apologised, but I can see why he was still angry. They might be your beloved babies, there to protect you. But to others their bark can be an immediate precursor to a bite.

Wish they had offered it up in rural Aberdeenshire there would be less unruly puppies about!

Thanks she's a million times better than when we first got her years ago in that she had zero recall, high prey drive (sighthound) and was terrified of people. But she still suffers bad lead anxiety issues so is actually better when off the lead when she has space to get away and then approach other dogs in her own time so lock down hasn't helped at all as we try to keep her on lead to avoid other people and dogs. It is getting harder to find quiet places to work on training with her though.

I was told the other week by a family that my dog was dangerous because she runs fast and she's big and we should remove her from the beach...... She wasn't anywhere near them (they walked up to us to tell us this) was chasing her ball and minding her own business! I politely declined informed them it had always been a dog walking beach and shared with occasional families and if they were bothered by my dog then they didn't need to be anywhere near her as she wasn't going up to them!

I wish I understood more about lead etiquette. Yesterday we went for a walk in a dog-heavy area, 99% of the time no issue with dogs off leads, a couple of considerate owners went out of their way to call their dogs over when my toddler appeared. But one small dog ran straight up to him, put its paws on his chest, and licked his face. Luckily toddler likes dogs and just said “don’t like it”, we got a half hearted apology from the owner, but really this is not acceptable, is it? As DH pointed out later dogs lick their bums all the time which i don't really want on my 2yr olds face, plus he has now had an experience of dogs which perturbed him - probably the first of many going by this thread.

Yanbu - we have an almost 4 month old boxer puppy. Like all boxer pups she's a jumper. She's on her lead anytime we're outside and we try to stop her from approaching people without them saying it's OK. Sorry if she jumps at you.

@buddy79 lead etiquette is that if you can't control your dog by recall and going up to strangers (especially with children) then they should be on a lead. Unfortunately many people don't get this.

I have a strange one in that I will let my dog go a distance away from me if other dogs because she wants to suss out the situation at her own pace but crucially she never goes up to people.

As others have said...there just seems to be an amazing entitlement by the growing number of dog owners that their dog has primacy and can do what it wants. I was driving down the road last week at 30mph. Dog with owner on narrow pavement and on an extended lead. Said dog runs out in front of car and narrowly avoids being run over. Owner starts shouting at me that I should be more careful when a dog is on the pavement. It says it all really!!

@Sunflowergirl1
Owner starts shouting at me that I should be more careful when a dog is on the pavement. It says it all really!!

You just can’t make it up can you. What an idiot and if you’d swerved to avoid their dog there could have been a serious accident. Unbelievable.

My staffy puppy is 12 weeks old and does not jump up. 4 weeks of consistent training has insured that , no it's not a excuse. It's people who can't be arsed to train there dogs correctly and really there is no excuse.

Yanbu

I live in the Lake District and it's becoming a flipping nightmare. There were loads of sheep worrying incidents last summer and the hoards of dog cult members will no doubt be back this summer, leaving poo bags hanging on trees and laughing as they chase sheep. Witnessed one woman watching and laughing as her dog hounded the geese and swans at Derwent Water the other day. DS is terrified of dogs thanks to numerous incidents of out of control dogs jumping up at him and knocking him over. A dog came up to him recently, jumping up at him, and he started screaming and the owner actually shouted at DS!

If you haven't trained your dog then you're a selfish arsehole. One of my closest friends is a dog owner and we do lots of walks together. She's done classes and worked really hard to train the dog. It has great recall and she always keeps it on a lead when around other people, animals etc. That is how it should be done. Anything less and you're a wanker.