Am I a bit pathological about this? Phobia of idleness

[thepeopleversuswork]

I've always really hated the idea of being idle: both in myself and others. I really struggle with the idea of doing nothing: I feel appallingly guilty and like stuff is going to unravel and it makes me go off and find stuff to do even if it doesn' t need doing. I get bored really quickly and I get really frustrated when close friends and family can't motivate themselves to get stuff done.

For example the idea of a day slobbing in front of the TV would be unbearable for me: I would be climbing the walls. I couldn't bear to sleep in any later than about 9am even if I had had a really late night.

For a long time I thought this was fairly normal in people who want to get anything done, but I've had comments from people recently suggesting they think I need to learn to relax properly and that I might be a bit weird. One friend suggested I was in danger of passing neurosis onto my DD when I said I would discourage her from chilling out on screens all day.

Just curious really as much as anything: I was brought up like this: my parents both had a very strong work ethic and pushed me so it feels very natural and normal to me --- my mum hated me watching TV and would always shoo me away from it. Ultimately I think she was probably right to do this as watching TV can be a huge time vacuum unless you're watching purposefully.

But I increasingly think I might be a bit of an outlier as a lot of people I know seem to think I'm a bit of a freak and take the view that wasting time can be good for you.

Having a strong work ethic and being willing / able to take time to switch off are not mutually exclusive. In fact i feel you need one to have the other - time doing nothing only feels good when it's "earned", and rest is needed in order to work effectively (by "work", i don't just mean paid employment).

Some people do like to be busy and occupied and it's ok to be like that, but if you take that to extremes it can be worrying for others - i have a friend like it and she keeps going and going and the result is that once in a while she falls off a cliff. You certainly shouldn't be judging or worrying about others for not being on the go 24/7. Balance in all things.

DH is terrible, he won't sit still except after dinner in front of the TV, where he falls asleep promptly.
He will work himself into an early grave (and did grow up poor).

He thinks I'm terribly lazy, but I work, do most house chores and 95% kids.
He works, does DIY and gardening. Gardening is his joy in life, if doing household chores and cooking was my joy in life I'd do it non stop!

I'm not fussed by TV, MN is my vice .

I haven't read all of the thread, but I have read all of your posts, OP.
What shrieks out at me is your use of the word idle. You don't seem to be able to see stillness as anything other than shirking.

Relaxing or resting aren't synonyms for idle. They're needs in their own way. Whether needed for a mental or a physical break, most people's minds and bodies need recovery time. Whether that's a long lie in after a tough week at work, or sitting in front of the TV after finishing the housework, or reading to distract ones mind from some worries, it's not 'idleness'.

It seems that you are able to function on full throttle every minute of the day, without any obvious downsides for you. But most of us can't. And you need to ensure that your daughter and your partner (and your friends) don't get the impression that you think they're lazy, or lesser than you, if they need downtime.

Oh, and I just want to say that I admire you for recognising this and wanting to address it. I reckon talking it through with a counsellor would be a good idea.