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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Tik Tok isn’t ok for 10 yr olds

168 replies

user47000000000 · 02/04/2021 07:29

Worried about my niece who is allowed tik tok and Instagram etc. I don’t think SiL is hot on privacy controls and my niece pulled out of a bbq at ours last night with her cousins because she wanted to make tik toks... SiL supported this decision.

AIBU to think tik tok is not appropriate for a 10 yr old?

Any advice for helping her mum to see how to keep her safer online. I’m really worried about how vulnerable she could be.

OP posts:
Verrucapepper · 02/04/2021 07:39

Why don’t you have a look at TikTok and send the mum clips of non-appropriate reels? It really won’t take long to find lots! Hopefully then she will see it’s not the best place for an unsupervised 10 year old.

BlusteryLake · 02/04/2021 07:41

There are actually two issues here - TikTok itself, and addiction to social media/screens. Personally, I don't let my 11 year old on TikTok because I don't think he is old enough. More of concern though, is that your neice is allowed to duck out of family occasions to persue social media interests.

LizBennet · 02/04/2021 07:43

10 is too young imho.

BloodyHellAudrey · 02/04/2021 07:44

Tiktok sometimes isn't appropriate for me and I'm nearly 35. Yanbu.

ihearttc · 02/04/2021 07:46

My DS is 10 and he has Tik Tok, he can’t post but can watch the videos. I get loads sent me of cute dogs wearing clothes or ducks going for rides in cars. I’ve got it too and tbh I’ve seen nothing on there that would concern me, it’s pretty harmless.
Instagram on the other hand is not ok.

PumpkinsMum18 · 02/04/2021 07:48

@ihearttc

My DS is 10 and he has Tik Tok, he can’t post but can watch the videos. I get loads sent me of cute dogs wearing clothes or ducks going for rides in cars. I’ve got it too and tbh I’ve seen nothing on there that would concern me, it’s pretty harmless. Instagram on the other hand is not ok.
It’s not harmless

Suggest you watch this www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000p3p9/panorama-is-tiktok-safe

Original poster
user47000000000 · 02/04/2021 07:51

Yes I watched the bbc doc, SiL thinks I “don’t understand”... I want to just wash my hands of it but I’m so worried for my niece Sad

OP posts:
CeeceeBloomingdale · 02/04/2021 07:51

While I don't necessarily disagree with you, I don't think it's your business. It's up to your sister how she parents. Schools often share things on inappropriate apps, it's up to her to decide what she allows her own child to do. If my sibling told me how to parent I'd tell them where to go.

ihearttc · 02/04/2021 07:52

I’ll watch it later. I assumed that the dangers of Tik Tok is having an account and posting stuff because you can be contacted by people, he can’t do that. All he can do is watch the videos and I’ve had it for 6 months too and not seen anything remotely worrying apart from clothes hauls, what I eat in a day and Gordon Ramsey dancing. There maybe the odd swear word but nothing I can get worked up about tbh. But I will definitely watch it.

InglouriousBasterd · 02/04/2021 07:56

I agree. Friend’s DD started self harming after seeing it on TikTok age 10 in lockdown last year. There’s a really innocent side to TikTok with all the fun videos, but there is also a sinister side which they are far too young to deal with.

BloodyHellAudrey · 02/04/2021 07:57

@ihearttc

My DS is 10 and he has Tik Tok, he can’t post but can watch the videos. I get loads sent me of cute dogs wearing clothes or ducks going for rides in cars. I’ve got it too and tbh I’ve seen nothing on there that would concern me, it’s pretty harmless. Instagram on the other hand is not ok.
It's honestly not harmless. Bearing in mind my algorithm is set for cute animals, cooking, make up and funny mum type videos.

I've seen "thirst traps", bdsm depicted, videos about murder, torture and rape, real life accidents and the aftermath of, miscarriage /stillbirth and baby funerals. I've seen things that have shook me up. You can't control. What comes up on the for you page, it will send you popular or trending videos but also things that are completely unrelated to anything else, which could be literally anything.

PandaFluff · 02/04/2021 08:02

Even if a child gets lucky and doesn't see anything harmful there is something depressing about seeing a child get bored of a 10 second clip and flick through them.

PandaFluff · 02/04/2021 08:03

But as it's not your child all you can do is express your concern and leave your SIL to it.

ihearttc · 02/04/2021 08:04

Ok well like I said I’ve had it for 6 months and I’ve not personally seen anything remotely like that. It seems to be the same people’s videos that I see over and over again.

He has not got Instagram or Snapchat unlike most of his friends but I allowed TikTok after I had it for a couple of months as I personally haven’t seen anything at all on there to concern me, that’s obviously not to say that there isn’t but I can only go on what I’ve seen.

Original poster
user47000000000 · 02/04/2021 08:05

Is there a way to set it so you can only see videos from “friends”?

Or any way you can protect them from seeing harmful content?

OP posts:
ihearttc · 02/04/2021 08:05

@PandaFluff

Considering we have been in lockdown since Christmas and my DS normally has football training 5 times a week he has really struggled with being bored, there is only so many local walks you can do.

Original poster
user47000000000 · 02/04/2021 08:08

ihearttc your DS could meet a friend in a park for football training throughout lockdown?

OP posts:
rainbowthoughts · 02/04/2021 08:09

@user47000000000

Is there a way to set it so you can only see videos from “friends”?

Or any way you can protect them from seeing harmful content?

No. You have no control over the content that is shown to you.

The 'I have it and have never seen anything bad' so my DC can have it attitude is a piss poor excuse for an awful parenting decision which I often see regarding TikTok.

I could walk across the road with my eyes shut a hundred times and not get run over, but there is always that chance, so I keep my eyes open.

You never know what the next video on TikTok will be.

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 02/04/2021 08:10

My DN sent me a ticktock of hers and then one came up automatically after it that was very unsuitable. Let Dsis know and she made sure that was the end of that. Honestly I know kids love screen time and lots of it is great fun but it is highly addictive as adults we know that and so many parents don't question or supervise, I think we will look back and say it was a massive massive mistake. I may be influenced by a neighbouring 7yo who seems to have been exposed to GTA and the sexual and violent language he has been using is frightening. Same child addicted to Fortnite at 4.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 02/04/2021 08:10

Is this your brother's wife or your husband's sister? If the latter where's her dad?

Macncheeseballs · 02/04/2021 08:12

Absolutely hate tiktok, yanbu

ihearttc · 02/04/2021 08:12

@user47000000000

Non of his football friends live locally (we live very rurally) and obviously we couldn’t travel. My older son played with him a few times but he is in Y11 so been revising. It’s been a very long and hard few months. Probably in normal times I wouldn’t have allowed it it but I can honestly say I haven’t seen anything on there which would concern me.

AllisoninWunderland · 02/04/2021 08:14

I looked at TT the other day for the first time and was horrified by the weird weird stuff that flashed up. Daniella Westbrook sobbing, young women strutting about with boobs almost out, terrible language and that was just the first 30 seconds.

There’s no way I’d let my 10 year old anywhere near it! It is not for children as far as I’m concerned.

Sometimeswinning · 02/04/2021 08:15

My dd is 11. Been on tiktok since she was 10. She only see's who shes following and knows not to go on the 'for you're page. She actually taught me this when I was trying to figure it out!

Natsku · 02/04/2021 08:18

YANBU. I didn't realise what it was like and let DD be on tiktok when all her friends were, about 8 years old, then when I read on MN about that suicide video doing the rounds on Tiktok I deleted it.