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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think Tik Tok isn’t ok for 10 yr olds

168 replies

user47000000000 · 02/04/2021 07:29

Worried about my niece who is allowed tik tok and Instagram etc. I don’t think SiL is hot on privacy controls and my niece pulled out of a bbq at ours last night with her cousins because she wanted to make tik toks... SiL supported this decision.

AIBU to think tik tok is not appropriate for a 10 yr old?

Any advice for helping her mum to see how to keep her safer online. I’m really worried about how vulnerable she could be.

OP posts:
HeyGirlHeyBoy · 02/04/2021 09:51

Emerald I understood it was completely unmonitored but could be wrong.

9yos with phones Sad

covetingthepreciousthings · 02/04/2021 09:51

@Sometimeswinning

My dd is 11. Been on tiktok since she was 10. She only see's who shes following and knows not to go on the 'for you're page. She actually taught me this when I was trying to figure it out!
How would you know if she watched the FYP though? You can't monitor it unless you sit next to her all the time on it.
covetingthepreciousthings · 02/04/2021 09:53

I am on TikTok, it's not in any way appropriate for 10year olds or younger.. for so many reasons, and it blows my mind that parents with primary aged children are happy for them to be on there.

It's not even just about sexual content.. there is so much more on there that isn't appropriate.

ichundich · 02/04/2021 09:56

The girls in my daughter's class (10/11 year old) are the same. I see them in the park all hunched together recording and watching TikTok videos on each other's phones and no longer playing at all. I find it really sad and have decided against getting my DD a smartphone before Y7 (even then I'd rather not, but I fear she'll be left out as her friends won't be able to contact her - at least not via WhatsApp, which is what they all seem to use).

Original poster
user47000000000 · 02/04/2021 09:56

I know, it’s so sad :(

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/01/13/tiktok-make-child-accounts-private-default-nspcc-calls-social/amp/

This article seems to suggest young kids accounts could be private... but does that then mean that they can still get fed content from anywhere?

OP posts:
StanfordPines · 02/04/2021 10:00

As well as the content on TikTok you would be thinking about who owns it.
Who is seeing the videos of your child or getting so much data on who they are and what they like.
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/zakdoffman/2020/07/09/tiktok-serious-china-problem-ban-security-warning/amp/

Emeraldshamrock · 02/04/2021 10:02

@HeyGirlHeyBoy I'll investigate and have a chat.
9 y.o with a phone is ridiculous.
DD will be getting her first phone going to secondary this year, she has an ipad which probably has as much as a phone really. Sad

Emeraldshamrock · 02/04/2021 10:04

I don't think parents are as aware of the content past dance videos and tutorials.
Thanks for the thread.

ihearttc · 02/04/2021 10:07

@StanfordPines

That was my concern hence why my DS hasn’t actually got an account so can’t post anything or comment on anything, he can literally just watch the videos.

covetingthepreciousthings · 02/04/2021 10:09

@Emeraldshamrock

I don't think parents are as aware of the content past dance videos and tutorials. Thanks for the thread.
No I think this is the issue, parents aren't actually using or watching the content before letting their children go on it.

A family member got TikTok when she was about 9-10ish I think, and I remember her mum just saying 'oh it's just a funny app for dancing and funny filters', because presumably she hadn't been on it herself she didn't realise what content there actually was on there.

You can create private profiles, but as far as I'm aware you can still few all the content..

covetingthepreciousthings · 02/04/2021 10:09

*view not few!

covetingthepreciousthings · 02/04/2021 10:10

[quote ihearttc]@StanfordPines

That was my concern hence why my DS hasn’t actually got an account so can’t post anything or comment on anything, he can literally just watch the videos.[/quote]
Can I ask why you believe Instagram isn't harmless yet TikTok is?

Fatladyslim · 02/04/2021 10:12

I have never seen any content on tiktok like the previous posters have suggested! It is 99% weightloss and small business content and 1% food I would say.

Makes me wonder what people are searching for on their phones etc to be seeing such disgusting content!

rainbowthoughts · 02/04/2021 10:14

@Fatladyslim

I have never seen any content on tiktok like the previous posters have suggested! It is 99% weightloss and small business content and 1% food I would say.

Makes me wonder what people are searching for on their phones etc to be seeing such disgusting content!

Oh for goodness sake.

I'm actually lost for words at this.

ihearttc · 02/04/2021 10:18

@covetingthepreciousthings

Do you mean why I won’t let him have Instagram but will let him watch TikTok?

Because I don’t want him to have people (strangers) to be able to contact him. Likewise his X box is set to friends only so he can only talk to his mates. He hasn’t got a TT account so can’t post anything or comment on anything, he literally just watches the videos.

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 02/04/2021 10:20

A great way to deflect Hmm I am searching for nothing as a very vanilla 40 something. You're truly naive to think that.

covetingthepreciousthings · 02/04/2021 10:22

[quote ihearttc]@covetingthepreciousthings

Do you mean why I won’t let him have Instagram but will let him watch TikTok?

Because I don’t want him to have people (strangers) to be able to contact him. Likewise his X box is set to friends only so he can only talk to his mates. He hasn’t got a TT account so can’t post anything or comment on anything, he literally just watches the videos.[/quote]
But you're not concerned about what content he could be watching as a 10yo?
I just find it interesting that the main concern is interacting with strangers and not the content available on the platform.

Monicuddle · 02/04/2021 10:22

To the person who asked, I did not report to the school because I don’t think they are responsible for this, although they try their best to educate on these matters. The mother is on her child’s friend list so I assume she knows what is being posted and is ok with it.

It’s not a culture I want my kids to be a part of, for as long as I can help it. Luckily there are enough parents in their classes who feel the same, so the kids won’t be ostracised in primary school, at least, for not taking part.

Sometimeswinning · 02/04/2021 10:24

@covetingthepreciousthings I dont! You're right. I need to trust her though. I also know shes aware how to stay as safe as she can on tiktok. Not enough children or parents have a clue about that it seems.

CuthbertDibbleandGrubb · 02/04/2021 10:26

YANBU for content reasons. As for Instagram, you are supporting a platform that does not deal with bullying, racism and other forms of hatred in an acceptable way. Never mind the body image issues that it effectively supports. Would you take your child to a knowingly unsafe park or building, of course not.

ihearttc · 02/04/2021 10:28

I’m not going to keep repeating myself. I had TT myself for months before I allowed my DS to have it. During that time I saw nothing that would concern me about DS seeing it. Hence when he asked for it as his mates at school had it I agreed. Since then he has watched countless random dog and sport videos, absolutely nothing like the content people are describing. I have no idea why.
My concern was with him being contacted by randoms online and also cyber bullying, I wasn’t concerned about animal videos.

But clearly everyone else in the world is seeing something I’m not so I will watch the documentary and investigate further.

PandaFluff · 02/04/2021 10:32

@Monicuddle I wasn't saying you should by the way, just wondering what I would do if I was ever in that situation and I don't know the answer to that, like you say it's not the schools responsibility. I hope my daughter finds a similar group of friends as the pressure to join in must be hard.

Monicuddle · 02/04/2021 10:38

@PandaFluff a parent in one of my dc class sent round an email when the kids were about 8 saying she and a couple of her friends were committing to keeping their dc away from social media for the duration of primary school and if anyone wanted to join in they would be welcome as the parents could then present a united front and say “you aren’t the only one who isn’t allowed”. I think 11 children in the class and their parents agreed and they are now 11 and the “contract” has stuck.

I am really grateful to that mother for that email.

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 02/04/2021 10:40

I was thinking of doing something similar. Great it was effective.

CrappingMyself · 02/04/2021 11:18

I would strongly recommend that if you allow your children on TikTok you investigate how TikTok works and uses algorithms. Just because you as a parent haven't seen anything troubling, doesn't mean your child won't, because their account algorithm will be different to yours.

For those who don't have a TikTok account but let their child view anyway, that means they can get anything random pushed their way.

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