aibu to suggest signet ring (dh's family) is a bit ...

[Stovetopespresso]

it needs resizing and he was just chatting about going to the jewelers when allowed. I said "or you could just not, maybe it's a sign of privilege and status which isn't very "now"? I meant I as a discussion but he got really hurt and said I'd upset him as it was a sentimental family tradition going back years and how much he is looking forward to giving one to dc when they turn 18. he said I was no better than those who want statues removed and history whitewashed. we are both quite left wing! i was thinking by this time maybe I do want statues chucked in the effing harbour but apologiesd for not taking in to account the sentimental value of his family, both sides of which are a tad colonial if relevant yabu= it's his decision yanabu = it's classist and outdated

Basically you are ashamed of your husbands background and are concerned it might “show”. No wonder he’s upset.

@bytheby sorry I see what you mean now.
Just getting slightly frustrated with the attacks on OP based on not understanding what they are and what they mean. Your point about why they are worn is completely valid, although as this thread shows most people won't understand what they're being told with them!

@Stovetopespresso you didn't disagree with the "old wealth" enough to not marry into it

@5zeds

Basically you are ashamed of your husbands background and are concerned it might “show”. No wonder he’s upset.

It must make family reunions such a wonderful affair.

Nothing worst than a reverse snob.

@Crankley

What woke rubbish. What do you do for an encore? Virtue signal?

I did that already, see my previous posts on this thread I get it, live and let live

I totally get what you mean, OP. They’re a bit “Prince Charles.” I really don’t like the look of them.

Is this for real? FFS, I'd tell my husband to sling his hook if he said that to me. He doesn't get to police or shame what kind of jewellery I wear. I wear a heavy gold cross my father bought my mother that's a replica from a sunken Spanish ship. I don't believe in God. I just think it's beautiful and she wanted me to have it after he died.

My son has his grandfather's signet ring from, oh, it's pretty old. There's no 'old money', it's a ring, a treasure his grandfather wanted him to have upon his death.

I wear my father's Tag Hauer watch. It's for a man. But I don't care. I love that watch.

@Stovetopespresso

no not racist particularly, I think the colonial suff happened after coat of arms was 'awarded', but isn't I a bit ooh look at me I'm posh, isn't it cooler just to tuck it away in a drawer?

What the bollocking hell are you on about? Such a non issue

@5zeds

Basically you are ashamed of your husbands background and are concerned it might “show”. No wonder he’s upset.

This.

They're a naff symbol of patriarchy and colonialism. Bleugh. Belong in the bin

[quote pabloescobarselasticband]@Stovetopespresso you didn't disagree with the "old wealth" enough to not marry into it [/quote]
you know nothing of my background (swishes cape)

I actually have an Elizabeth duke cygnet ring haha

I actually hadn't heard of them being posh (or forgot if I did) . Honestly OP not your monkeys .. you wear what you want and let DH wear what he wants. Are you scared your children will want one?

And I say this as someone whose family was the oppressed. I'm not a fan of inherited wealth but at some point you have to let this man wear what he wants.

Does he find himself sealing many scrolls with it and crying out, 'don't spare the horses'?

@JanewaysBun it's what it symbolises really I really do let him choose his own clothes! kids will be getting one if they want

"Basically you are ashamed of your husbands background and are concerned it might “show”. No wonder he’s upset. shock

This."

No, I don't think that's what it is. I get the impression she's not ashamed of his background and people knowing it, but she's embarrassed by something that she would consider to be ostentatious and "showing off" of his background.
I had no idea signet rings were so posh or that they had coats of arms on them, but imagine if someone was carrying a bag with their family crest on it or something or wearing a cravat to go for a walk. Sounds a bit more like that.

I most certainly would be sealing letters with it if I had one.

yes I think inherited wealth and privilege are inhibiting social mobility ..

I presume you'll be leaving all your tat to the Cat Protection League?

[quote Stovetopespresso]@JanewaysBun it's what it symbolises really I really do let him choose his own clothes! kids will be getting one if they want[/quote]
How magnanimous of you.

I know the type you are talking about OP & yes it's a bit off putting

@ChristianGreysAnatomy

I’m with you OP! Unpopular opinion apparently but I think they send an “old money” signal that is outdated and patriarchal.

Oh perish the thought! What does the local lottery winner wear to meet with your approval? Maybe it shows that someone in the family worked hard and bought it. The site shows a lot of women in a very poor light, so controlling in a way that were a man to behave that way the LTB brigade would be on their hind legs.

I work with military types and most of the senior officers wear a signet ring on their pinky. Its definitely a status, old boy thing

[quote Stovetopespresso]@IHaveBrilloHair do you mean do I think so? yes I think inherited wealth and privilege are inhibiting social mobility and a ring could be a stealth boast, almost secret signal that a certain type (of man) gives off to another?
I think we need to change our view of history and what with blm, increased awareness of sexism etc so this ring might be passé[/quote]
Oh, for god's sake!

Do you think you two are compatible?

You sound like you have a chip on your shoulder Op. Sorry. It signifies something and you’ve asked him to tuck it away in a drawer. I mean, your being mean here surely - how would you feel if the tables were turned.

Are we talking about something like this @Stovetopespresso?
I just found my grandmother's when I was moving house a month ago and so popped it on and I like it. I think it's lovely to wear something of my grandmothers.

They are ugly. I associate with poor/thuggish though rather than posh.

Up to him! But I'd hate my DH to wear one. Especially if it's quite big.