aibu to suggest signet ring (dh's family) is a bit ...

[Stovetopespresso]

it needs resizing and he was just chatting about going to the jewelers when allowed. I said "or you could just not, maybe it's a sign of privilege and status which isn't very "now"? I meant I as a discussion but he got really hurt and said I'd upset him as it was a sentimental family tradition going back years and how much he is looking forward to giving one to dc when they turn 18. he said I was no better than those who want statues removed and history whitewashed. we are both quite left wing! i was thinking by this time maybe I do want statues chucked in the effing harbour but apologiesd for not taking in to account the sentimental value of his family, both sides of which are a tad colonial if relevant yabu= it's his decision yanabu = it's classist and outdated

OK then Stovetopespresso
Definitely passed me by.

I think the opposite.
Tacky, tacky, tacky.

I am a woman and I wear a signet ring. On my little finger. Just because I like it! They’re not exclusively men’s rings anymore. Mine was made in 1917 and is - in my opinion- beautiful. I love the fact it was made during the First World War, its kind of symbolic of hope in a terrible time. Something beautiful in a time of darkness. And that’s why I love it. Others probably think it’s some fugly tacky shit from Argos but who cares ...? and if someone loves Argos jewellery that’s fine too! Jewellery is fun basically. You’re taking it too seriously.

I think you were right to back down. But also your DH should check with DS before he presents him with one.

[quote Stovetopespresso]@ThrowingAShellstrop yes on his pinky. maybe I could suggest he turn it in to a Prince Albert [/quote]
I’d struggle with the pinky.

I’m all for the Prince Albert.

You do sound hard work.

I had the impression they were a bit chavvy, (yes I know that word is hated on here, but we all know what it means)
I've not seen one on a man since I was a teenager, and those guys definitely were not posh.
However, if it's important to him and his family I don't see a problem with him wearing it.

[quote Stovetopespresso]@ThrowingAShellstrop yes on his pinky. maybe I could suggest he turn it in to a Prince Albert [/quote]
Oh god they look ridiculous and pretentious. I’m not surprised you don’t like it.

I’m with you OP! Unpopular opinion apparently but I think they send an “old money” signal that is outdated and patriarchal.

YABU. My brother inherited a signet ring from our grandfather; he’s at least the eighth generation to wear it, but he doesn’t go around telling anyone that and I can’t imagine that anyone cares. It’s not a secret signal. It’s just a ring.

I think wearing or dispalying a family heirloom that has been passed down many generations is fine, lots of families do this not just the nobility I have my great grandmothers wedding ring it was made in 1908, her DH was a coal miner
my DH has an oil painting of his great grandmother from 1882 should that be binned too?
saying your DH can't wear a family ring is very controlling especially if you go on about it everytime he wears it of course resizing it makes sense, it is natural that he will want to space it on too, I intend for my DD to have her great great grandmothers ring eventually
Not everyone that had even moderately well off ancestors made their money in dodgy ways

I agree with you OP.

I think maybe some people don't realise the symbolism and think you just mean a ring that's an heirloom. It isn't just that, it signifies a hell of a lot of establishment culture and attitude.

I would feel exactly as you do.

I've not seen one on a man since I was a teenager, and those guys definitely were not posh.

Me and you clearly move in different circles to OP. Round my manor (not manor house, for clarity) they were a sign that someone was a bovver boy looking for a fight. Red face, shiny shoes, white shirt, signet ring, "did you spill my pint?".

Definitely not the 17th Earl of South London!

@MichelleScarn I try not to! with my chosen job and daily decisions but am no doubt riddled with hypocrisy and inconsistencies. but I get I was bu from the responses! I did back down about the family sentimental thing

[quote Stovetopespresso]@ThrowingAShellstrop yes on his pinky. maybe I could suggest he turn it in to a Prince Albert [/quote]
Oh no😕 pinky rings are so tacky. It’s difficult if it’s a family thing though.

A man's signet ring being passed down a family is not comparable to wedding & engagement rings being passed down. Completely different connotations.

Signet rings are posh. Sovereign rings are common.
I think most people wouldn't know that they are posh though.

@MrsTerryPratchettaybe it will be taken that way! dilemma solved!

Ha I thought you were going to say they were tacky!

As if earldom rings are thing! Is there just the one?

@KineticSand

A man's signet ring being passed down a family is not comparable to wedding & engagement rings being passed down. Completely different connotations.

Can you explain why? I genuinely don’t understand this. In our family all rings - signets, engagement and wedding- are passed down and not necessarily to the sexes that you’d think. We have signets going to females etc if they want or like them.

My son wants one and I have promised one for his 16th bday if he still wants one
We are not posh or privileged and I am pretty sure we never oppressed anyone or had a link to slavery

yes its a signet born of status (god sorry this isn't a stealth boast sorry) and wealth. not a sovereign ring!
I'm not even that concerned about perception of others really, it's what it represents, ooh some ancestor ages ago was posh and now, ta daaah!

Dunno about classist but definitely tacky imo.

My DH has a signet ring which he wears on his little finger passed down from his grandmother. He didn't want a wedding ring so when we got married we had his signet ring blessed and I popped it back on his pinky finger! I would normally think they're for posh people only but we ain't posh ... well, I ain't!!

My Dad aged 83 wears a signet ring, but no wedding ring. Unless he has been keeping it's actual value a secret, I would say definitely not a sign of wealth.