aibu to suggest signet ring (dh's family) is a bit ...

[Stovetopespresso]

it needs resizing and he was just chatting about going to the jewelers when allowed. I said "or you could just not, maybe it's a sign of privilege and status which isn't very "now"? I meant I as a discussion but he got really hurt and said I'd upset him as it was a sentimental family tradition going back years and how much he is looking forward to giving one to dc when they turn 18. he said I was no better than those who want statues removed and history whitewashed. we are both quite left wing! i was thinking by this time maybe I do want statues chucked in the effing harbour but apologiesd for not taking in to account the sentimental value of his family, both sides of which are a tad colonial if relevant yabu= it's his decision yanabu = it's classist and outdated

@dotdashdashdash oh this has really tickled me! 🤣

@AlfonsoTheTerrible. I agree with you - I had no idea that there was so much snobbery attached to signet rings, I thought of them as jewellery for men who could afford to treat themselves or received them as presents. If the OP's chap wants to wear his I cannot see people thinking that it must be from old money associated with slavery. Charlie wears one and nobody ever mentions its origins, but I'm not a royalist so perhaps I missed that story.

All the posters saying signet rings are chavey, you do know what a signet ring is ?
It's not a sovereign ring.
I'm amazed at these posts , I've always known a signet ring was a family heirloom type piece with coat of arms , initials or plain . They were never chavy.

@FlatEarthling

I think the opposite. Tacky, tacky, tacky.

Wow 3 'tacky's' Personally it totally depends on everything else about a person as to whether it looks tacky or not. Elegantly understated man = heritage. Chav = tacky

@Hoppinggreen

My son wants one and I have promised one for his 16th bday if he still wants one We are not posh or privileged and I am pretty sure we never oppressed anyone or had a link to slavery

What would be on it? Do you have a coat of arms to engrave?

I definitely don’t think they are ‘chavvy’ exactly. Because of my job I know a lot of upper class and some aristocratic men. i have comme across differing views from within that ‘cohort’ - that wearing a signet ring is a ‘naff’ signifier (that’s the closest I can get to an appropriate word). There is also a view that they are nothing of the sort and are worn with pride and familial regard.
It is sometimes connected with political views sometimes not.
Then there’s the whole ‘middle class boys/men’ wearing them issue and how that is seen.
It is really complex and I am pretty sure as a non upper class woman that I don’t understand a lot of the nuances. I’m also sure life is too short and I can’t believe I’ve spent some of mine noticing and now commenting !

@HeronLanyon - I applaud your post. Nicely put.

What would be on it? Do you have a coat of arms to engrave?

In that there's a difference between signet and sovereign rings, there is a difference between coat of arms and crest. The vast majority of 'hereditary' (for want of a better word) signet rings are engraved with a family crest. A coat of arms would be far too complex to engrave in such a small space.

Not everyone has one, you have to apply to the College of Arms to be granted one. You have to be a ‘notable person’ to be awarded one and then pay thousands for its design. The Middleton’s were granted one when Kate got married for example.

Is this for real? It’s a ring and you’ve basically accused him of privilege. I’d be pissed off as well. If it’s something that has family ties I don’t see the issue. Personally I think we try and see the negative in everything at the moment, no way have I ever seen someone with a signet ring and thought they’re loaded and privilege. People seem to want to find something to be offended by. I feel for your DH.

The irony of your post with a userid of @Stovetopespresso

Your posts sound best suited for a Jeremy Corbyn fan page. Don't blame for husband for being upset. Some of us appreciate family heirlooms. You should apologise to your husband and then let him live his life.

Imagine if this was a reverse.

Welcome to the world of competitive virtue-signalling!

I get what you're saying OP. I used to work at a very posh private members club and they nearly all had crested rings on their pinky finger. They were certainly all rich, privileged people from very wealthy families.

Maybe it's because I'm working class but I always think YUK when I see that type of man with that type of ring...especially on their little finger.

I wouldn't stop him wearing it if he's proud of it though. It's up to him. His privilege. His ring. His finger.

Not many people would know they were his family cost of arms but they are tacky as fuck which is why I wouldn't want oh wearing his ( too small as well )

I'd never make him ashamed of his poshness though that's a bit low

If this is your biggest worry........🙇🏽‍♀️

@Leeds2

I loathe signet rings, not because I see them as a sign of privilege but because I think they look tacky, I would hate my 18 year old DC to be given one, for fear they would feel obliged to wear it.

This

What a load of tosh about nothing. As Knitterbabe said “Utter Bollocks”

The lads at my school who wore gold signet rings were generally Romanies.

Family heirloom lovely.
Argos finest... less so.

I don’t know why you’d be ok with your DH, i.e. a man who shares the blood of these colonial types and has presumably been raised by them, but not the signet ring.

It’s like you want to whitewash his family’s past which you decree is unacceptable. They come as a package, hiding the ring away in a drawer won’t change a thing.