aibu to suggest signet ring (dh's family) is a bit ...

[Stovetopespresso]

it needs resizing and he was just chatting about going to the jewelers when allowed. I said "or you could just not, maybe it's a sign of privilege and status which isn't very "now"? I meant I as a discussion but he got really hurt and said I'd upset him as it was a sentimental family tradition going back years and how much he is looking forward to giving one to dc when they turn 18. he said I was no better than those who want statues removed and history whitewashed. we are both quite left wing! i was thinking by this time maybe I do want statues chucked in the effing harbour but apologiesd for not taking in to account the sentimental value of his family, both sides of which are a tad colonial if relevant yabu= it's his decision yanabu = it's classist and outdated

In my world they signify old money.

www.tatler.com/article/why-wear-a-signet-ring

@katienana

Signet rings are posh. Sovereign rings are common. I think most people wouldn't know that they are posh though.

I agree! I just think it's a bit "my family were great fwah fwah" wonder if bj wears one... rees-mogg probably does!

[quote bytheby]In my world they signify old money.

www.tatler.com/article/why-wear-a-signet-ring[/quote]
just about sums it up for me why not to wear one!

My brother wears my dads signet ring. Dad passed away in the early 90’s, and the ring was bought for his 21st birthday in 1950 ... it has his initials engraved on. I love seeing it being worn. My Nana wasn’t a rich women, and it’s very special.

I’m generally right of centre and believe in preserving inter-generational wealth, but the chunky gold signet ring is just garish nowadays.

@ExtraOnions

My brother wears my dads signet ring. Dad passed away in the early 90’s, and the ring was bought for his 21st birthday in 1950 ... it has his initials engraved on. I love seeing it being worn. My Nana wasn’t a rich women, and it’s very special.

sorry I think that's lovely, I really do, but that's a totally different symbolism.

Poor guy. Sounds like he is really proud of his heritage and hoped it would mean something to his family.
Then you go and piss on his chips.

Personally they're not my cup of tea and pretty sure you can buy signet rings in

As a different angle....

They’re actually making quite a comeback at the moment, with men and women, and the younger generation as a new twist on an old style. A lot of the more “trendy” bespoke jewellers (Johnny Hoxton to name one) are making heavyweight signets that can be engraved with whatever you like. Not to my taste personally but interesting nonetheless. Kind of goes against the whole “old” money thing. It’s just fun in that sense.

It's clear most people on this thread aren't familiar with this type of signet ring. It's very much a class signifier, and for a very small group of people. It's not about money, it's about power. Perhaps your DH wears it out of sentimentality but then some men are sentimental about their inherited privilege. My family has one but my father and brothers find the whole thing medieval.

It's his culture, and his family.

I think YABU.

Have you ever considered that you are an inverse snob?

Argos, but I'd have smiled and indulged him.

@EclaireTree

I’m generally right of centre and believe in preserving inter-generational wealth, but the chunky gold signet ring is just garish nowadays.

the aesthetics are personal taste its the symbolism of old wealth I'm being weird about (or not)

I wear a signet ring! It was a present for passing my O Levels. Most of my friends had them in the 70s.

That's ridiculous. Even if he is a classist asshole he can wear what he wants!

DH wears one, but I don’t like it. I find it quit effeminate tbh. However, it was passed down to him from his grandfather so I’ve kept my opinion to myself. I don’t particularly like jewellery of any kind on men, my father didn’t wear a wedding ring either, but I guess it’s what you’re used to.

I think people have different ideas of signet rings. Proper ones have a family crest on and were used to seal wax on documents and letters. You didn’t have to have a title but you had to have a coat of arms in the College of Arms.

I wouldn’t necessarily think posh because there aren’t the same family lines anymore but I would assume a notable family history.

It looks like the exact same debate was happening in 2004!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/other_subjects/32225-signet-rings-someone-enlighten-me-pls

Lots of my friends have them - most were given as a 21st gifts with the expectation that they would wear them proudly. I do think if you wear one then part of the reason might be as a little signal that you are part of 'the posh club'. They are no worse than Le Chameau wellies or something....

@spied piss on his inherited caviar more like (I hasten to add there is literally no caviar in our lives)
@Umbivalent it's possible I am, what can I do?
@Joysexrenovation yes I think so in this day and age it's a throwback. is it harmless or perpetuating a shitty closed system?
I am overthinking this...

Not my taste either, but I agree that an heirloom is nice to have.

My father has a signet ring that he inherited- it’s just got his initials on it.
We’re saving my grandfathers ring, that had been his aunts, for my daughter as it has her initials on it. She may never wear it but it has special meaning for my family.
The people that these things came from we’re working class - miners and cotton mill workers.
It’s no different to me wearing my great grandmother’s engagement ring or her sisters locket.
I find your take on this decidedly odd. I’d be hurt and pissed off if I was your husband.

Quite surprised by how many people perceive them as tacky/chavvy. I always associate them with a certain type of over-confident chap at uni and beyond. Can't help but spot them 25 years later in my professional life and (unreasonably) take a position immediately. Says far more about me than your DH though, OP . But, according to my own personal prejudices, YANBU

YABU.

Would be a turn off for me - not sure if it's just the aesthetic (don't like any jewellery on men- maybe just a wedding ring), or the old money vibe.

@bytheby I don't think they can be compared to wellies that anyone with enough money can buy. Signet rings are about hereditary privilege.

I’m with you OP. It may not be seen as a signifier old money etc to everyone but without it does to those who know.