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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to suggest signet ring (dh's family) is a bit ...

346 replies

Stovetopespresso · 30/03/2021 20:00

Biscuit it needs resizing and he was just chatting about going to the jewelers when allowed. I said "or you could just not, maybe it's a sign of privilege and status which isn't very "now"? I meant I as a discussion but he got really hurt and said I'd upset him as it was a sentimental family tradition going back years and how much he is looking forward to giving one to dc when they turn 18. he said I was no better than those who want statues removed and history whitewashed. we are both quite left wing! i was thinking by this time maybe I do want statues chucked in the effing harbour but apologiesd for not taking in to account the sentimental value of his family, both sides of which are a tad colonial if relevant yabu= it's his decision yanabu = it's classist and outdated
OP posts:
fizbosshoes · 31/03/2021 20:50

Theres a big difference (in look and cost) between a signet ring with engraved initials or coat of arms, and a half sovereign ring from Argos.
I've seen a few 18 year olds (boys) in our town get a signet ring with family coat of arms for their birthday. The engraving alone costs over £200! I wouldnt have the faintest idea what our family coat of arms was....does every surname have one??Confused
My Ddad had a signet ring (not inherited or engraved - my mum bought it) but he never wore it

Nanny0gg · 31/03/2021 20:52

The sneering and snobbery on this thread is something to behold!

It's clearly worse to be an insurance agent, estate agent or city trader than to be a burglar or bank robber!

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 31/03/2021 21:00

@TinselTinsel

I LOVE LOVE LOVE these kind of family traditions, not that we have any in our family. My ideal engagement would have been a family sentimental ugly ring over a £1million fancy ring any day!
My great uncle gave his signet ring (engraved with the family crest) to his then-fiancee as her engagement ring.
ufucoffee · 31/03/2021 21:05

Signet rings on the pinky are also worn by some men in the Army, Officers and above with the regimental crest on them. Your husband should wear his family ring with pride and tell you to do one.

cherish123 · 31/03/2021 21:19

I think signet rings are a bit common. There's no way I wwould want my DC wearing that.

Alsohuman · 31/03/2021 21:22

Nothing worse than an inverted snob.

MoiraNotRuby · 31/03/2021 21:23

I never knew signet rings came from anywhere other than the 1990 Argos catalogue! I agree that anyone who benefits from 'old money' probably benefits from slavery, I would not want to wear a ring celebrating that.

Yellownotblue · 31/03/2021 21:26

@PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat

I’ve spent more time than I care to remember with old world moneyed types, and I’m aware of the multitudes of ways through which class is expressed. The ring is one of them. Personally I’m for equal opportunity, and I agree with the previous poster who said Britain is one of the last western societies where class division is deeply engrained.

You think taking the ring off is shallow; I think every little helps to dismantle the class system. One little symbol at a time.

LarryUnderwood · 31/03/2021 21:27

Gosh. I mean, I have no opinion (genuinely) on whether he should wear one or not. But ihave honestly never in my life assumed that a signet ring was an indication of poshness, quite the opposite. It always seems to me be quite a working class shared-yard, net-curtains type of thing (which is what I grew up with and lots of the men I knew had one). Nothing wrong with that. But I honestly would always assume that a man wearing a signet ring had got it from argos or a pawn shop. I really didn't know that it was an actual family heirloom thing! I feel very stupid.

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 31/03/2021 21:35

@LarryUnderwood - please don't feel stupid!

Different groups of people have different customs / traditions and it's perfectly natural to be most most familiar with the ones you grew up with.

And I think whoever made the distinction between signet rings and sovereign rings had a very good point. A signet ring is nothing more than a piece of men's jewellery - if people freight it with weird connotations, eg slavetrading or being an estate agent, that's their problem.

PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat · 31/03/2021 21:38

[quote Yellownotblue]@PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat

I’ve spent more time than I care to remember with old world moneyed types, and I’m aware of the multitudes of ways through which class is expressed. The ring is one of them. Personally I’m for equal opportunity, and I agree with the previous poster who said Britain is one of the last western societies where class division is deeply engrained.

You think taking the ring off is shallow; I think every little helps to dismantle the class system. One little symbol at a time.[/quote]
That’s wonderful. I’m really looking forward to hearing about the great-grandsons of earls and baronets who have taken off those signets and then started the process of dismantling and redistributing their own privilege by sending their children to state schools and paying all of their taxes (including inheritance) without any dodges. That would be a good start.

Mugginyouleftrightandcentre · 31/03/2021 21:40

I never knew signet rings came from anywhere other than the 1990 Argos catalogue!

Same here! 😂

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 31/03/2021 21:42

That’s wonderful. I’m really looking forward to hearing about the great-grandsons of earls and baronets who have taken off those signets and then started the process of dismantling and redistributing their own privilege by sending their children to state schools and paying all of their taxes (including inheritance) without any dodges. That would be a good start.

No stereotyping going on here at all.

PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat · 31/03/2021 21:45

What’s your objection, @AlfonsoTheTerrible? You have spoken a lot of sense on this thread.

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 31/03/2021 21:48

What’s your objection, @AlfonsoTheTerrible?

I object to stupidity.

PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat · 31/03/2021 21:51

OK, Alfonso.

I don’t think it’s stupid to suggest that there are actions which could do a lot more good than putting a signet ring in a drawer.

Have a nice evening.

dotdashdashdash · 31/03/2021 21:51

I associate signet rings with lower classes. Along with medallions nestling in chest hair.

orlaquiver · 31/03/2021 22:05

I'm not sure if people are getting signet rings mixed up with sovereign rings?!

thevicarstroketwice · 31/03/2021 22:05

@dotdashdashdash

I associate signet rings with lower classes. Along with medallions nestling in chest hair.
it does say more about you than anything else...
Macncheeseballs · 31/03/2021 22:12

I agree op, I think they are crass

SlB09 · 31/03/2021 22:16

Urgh, pinky rings yes definately sniff of privelage but in that I want you to know I went to private school way. Personally they make me cringe and I have a fair few male friends who wear them (all privately schooled posh boys which may away my opinion slightly!)

LarryUnderwood · 31/03/2021 22:20

Seems to me whatever the associations may have been they aren't widespread nowadays. Either way doesn't seem worth worrying about.

sunshinemode · 31/03/2021 22:42

OP I don’t think you explained exactly what you were talking about in your opening post. I actually agree with you but it took me a bit of reading to get there

FaceyRomford · 31/03/2021 22:56

His ring. His finger. You come over as an inverted snob I'm afraid OP.

Nanny0gg · 01/04/2021 00:10

@dotdashdashdash

I associate signet rings with lower classes. Along with medallions nestling in chest hair.
Perfect image of the Prince of Wales right there...
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