Double standards on mn.

[thatwasme22]

This week so far:

1. I have seen various posters defend Caroline Flack for having issues. Maybe she did but then the same argument would not be made on Chris Browne.

1. A thread on the physical attractiveness on male politicians. Imagine a male forum did this on females.

1. A thread with a woman hiding her inheritance from her husband and encouraged to do so by many posters and him being called financially abusive for being sensible over money. When men do this on mn it's all ltb.

Am I missing something? I call myself a feminist so am pro equality and that's how I raised my kids but why is this not being called out on mn?

I don't call myself a feminist as I don't agree with the double standards
I concentrate on being a nice person and treating everyone nicely and bring my children up to be the same and to judge people as you find them , rather than group together.

Then that one poster was upholding double standards. Not women, not mumsnet. Just that poster

Precisely

@Knowingitsallover

I don't call myself a feminist as I don't agree with the double standards I concentrate on being a nice person and treating everyone nicely and bring my children up to be the same and to judge people as you find them , rather than group together.

How exactly do those views conflict with feminism??

Are these 'double standards' posts by the same posters?

Because it's only double standards if it is the same person.

If I post something and on another thread someone else posts a totally different view, that's not double standards.

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows because I don't group say all men together as many do , i accept there are good and bad as there are with women to.
I know as many women I dislike / aren't nice as I do men

@Knowingitsallover

I don't call myself a feminist as I don't agree with the double standards I concentrate on being a nice person and treating everyone nicely and bring my children up to be the same and to judge people as you find them , rather than group together.

And what about the massive amounts of violence directed solely at women for being women? The two per week killed in the UK, for example? Where do they sit in this equality utopia?

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows you yourself have applauded the poster who says men rating looks is different to women? So double standards as if that man getting insulted doesn't matter because women are more oppressed , which may be the case but if that man is maybe hurt by whats being said is that ok as you have grouped him , rather than looking at it from an individual level

1. Don’t really know much about CF and in one regard I agree that the outpouring of grief for a woman who beat (?) her boyfriend is baffling. But CB nearly killed Rihanna, didn’t engage with his punishment and regardless of what people say online, his life has been pretty much unchanged.

1. You’re being utterly ridiculous if you don’t think there aren’t reams and reams of threads dissecting any woman’s looks by men

1. Your opinion is ‘careful with money’. Other posters opinion was ‘financially abusive’. Personally, I control the money in my housebound and if I won a small amount I might keep it secret and pay off a debt. I might not. But when there’s debts to be paid,’those have to come first.

@Pumperthepumper I can't change that as an individual can I , doesn't mean I think all men do this
I bring up my boys to be respectful and my daughters to recognise red flags and not put up with bad behaviour
I can recognise that something is happening but not tar all with the same brush and don't consider myself a hardcore feminist

There have been slightly too many threads in a similar vein to this one just lately; mainly asking feminists to justify their reasons for being so horrid to the menz. One could almost be forgiven for thinking it isn't a coincidence.

[quote Knowingitsallover]@Pumperthepumper I can't change that as an individual can I , doesn't mean I think all men do this
I bring up my boys to be respectful and my daughters to recognise red flags and not put up with bad behaviour
I can recognise that something is happening but not tar all with the same brush and don't consider myself a hardcore feminist [/quote]
But my question is, if everyone thought like you and looked at everything at an individual level, how do we change the overwhelming amount of violence by men directed at women? Do we ignore that common factor?

@Pumperthepumper how does assuming that all men are the same help?
We wouldn't do that to any other group would we ?
So why is it ok that some on here are saying you may know the odd couple of ok men etc and thats a common theme some threads on here

[quote Knowingitsallover]@Pumperthepumper how does assuming that all men are the same help?
We wouldn't do that to any other group would we ?
So why is it ok that some on here are saying you may know the odd couple of ok men etc and thats a common theme some threads on here [/quote]
Oh god, do you have to? Who says it’s all men?

We do look at groups of people who are more likely to commit crimes. It’s only when we talk about it protecting women that people get angry.

How do you tell the difference between good men and bad men if you’re out for a walk alone for example? What’s the magic signal that the bad guys give off?

@Pumperthepumper where I live I don't assume anyone is safe whilst walking alone to be honest , young or old

Men rating female politicians on their looks is an act of misogyny. Relatively, women rating male politicians on their looks is an act of subversion.

This is a joke right?

@Pumperthepumper look at some of the threads even on here , you have posters saying may be the odd one good man etc
And that has been common on a few threads lately and no we don't rightly so do it with many other groups

[quote Knowingitsallover]@Pumperthepumper where I live I don't assume anyone is safe whilst walking alone to be honest , young or old [/quote]
Who are they in danger from?

@Pumperthepumper read the quote just a few below these and tell me that isn't double standards

[quote Knowingitsallover]@Pumperthepumper look at some of the threads even on here , you have posters saying may be the odd one good man etc
And that has been common on a few threads lately and no we don't rightly so do it with many other groups [/quote]
We absolutely do. We look at who’s most likely to be recruited into terrorism, for example. Or who’s more likely to carry a knife. Then we make programmes and guidelines and target those people to reduce the likelihood of them getting into that kind of trouble.

[quote Knowingitsallover]@Pumperthepumper read the quote just a few below these and tell me that isn't double standards[/quote]
Where?

Who are the people in your area in danger from?

What’s the magic signal the bad guys give off so we know?

YANBU

Equal rights and equal accountability for everyone.

I agree with you the advice given differs to whether being asked by a man or woman - perhaps the OP should not say which they are. Completely differing responses to very similar situations are seen all the time.

@SpringTimeDream

YANBU

Equal rights and equal accountability for everyone.

I agree with you the advice given differs to whether being asked by a man or woman - perhaps the OP should not say which they are. Completely differing responses to very similar situations are seen all the time.

That’s a glorious slogan - that starts from a position of equality that doesn’t exist.

@Pumperthepumper what do you mean who are they in danger from?
Recently a women was assaulted by a group of teens boys and girls , prior to that a man was assaulted by a group of teens again mixed So anyone is potentially a danger in some ways
So if walking alone I would be wary of anyone
There is often no way to know who is good and bad upon meeting someone , when ai met my dh I didn't know if he was good or bad , just judged him as I got to know him.

@Pumperthepumper we may target programmes but we don't go around saying all are this we accept its the minority

[quote Knowingitsallover]@Pumperthepumper what do you mean who are they in danger from?
Recently a women was assaulted by a group of teens boys and girls , prior to that a man was assaulted by a group of teens again mixed So anyone is potentially a danger in some ways
So if walking alone I would be wary of anyone
There is often no way to know who is good and bad upon meeting someone , when ai met my dh I didn't know if he was good or bad , just judged him as I got to know him.
[/quote]
You said nobody in your area is safe. Turns out you’re in the only place in the entire world where people are in equal danger from men and women. Where is this place?

And: what is the magic signal?