Double standards on mn.

[thatwasme22]

This week so far:

1. I have seen various posters defend Caroline Flack for having issues. Maybe she did but then the same argument would not be made on Chris Browne.

1. A thread on the physical attractiveness on male politicians. Imagine a male forum did this on females.

1. A thread with a woman hiding her inheritance from her husband and encouraged to do so by many posters and him being called financially abusive for being sensible over money. When men do this on mn it's all ltb.

Am I missing something? I call myself a feminist so am pro equality and that's how I raised my kids but why is this not being called out on mn?

@Butwasitherdriveway you’re so desperate for this fight you’re now making up total lies just for a reaction. I think it’s fair to say you don’t care about men’s issues. You’re just here for the attention you’re lacking in real life.

Why do you and pumper keep saying apparent concern?
Because it seems quite unusual to me that anyone who claims to care about an issue would be so keen to hijack threads about different issues, but never start a thread about the issue they want to focus on.

It would be like regularly going on threads where people are discussing the impact of cars on the environment, repeatedly arguing "but not all cars are bad for the environment... my car isn't because my car has these eco features. Why are you talking about vehicle emissions when not all of them are that bad...and anyway, but what about plastic pollution. Plastic pollution is bad. Don't you care about plastic pollution. Plastic pollution is a big issue", but then never starting a thread to talk about the issue of plastic pollution.

It would be kind of odd for someone to care so much about plastic pollution that someone would regularly show up on threads about vehicle emissions and air pollution to tell people off and tell them to focus on plastic pollution, but not care enough to start a thread saying "hey everyone, I'm concerned that plastic pollution is bad for the environment. What are your views? Does anyone have ideas how we can do more to tackle it?"
It would almost look like they were more bothered about people discussing vehicle emissions than they are about the consequences of plastic pollution and were just using plastic pollution as a way to shut down discussions about air quality and emissions.

[quote Pumperthepumper]@Butwasitherdriveway you’re so desperate for this fight you’re now making up total lies just for a reaction. I think it’s fair to say you don’t care about men’s issues. You’re just here for the attention you’re lacking in real life.[/quote]
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you're without a doubt the strangest poster I've ever met. It amuses me, but if you are like this in real life with the absolute bile you spout I'd be quite worried

@LolaSmiles

Why do you and pumper keep saying apparent concern? Because it seems quite unusual to me that anyone who claims to care about an issue would be so keen to hijack threads about different issues, but never start a thread about the issue they want to focus on.

It would be like regularly going on threads where people are discussing the impact of cars on the environment, repeatedly arguing "but not all cars are bad for the environment... my car isn't because my car has these eco features. Why are you talking about vehicle emissions when not all of them are that bad...and anyway, but what about plastic pollution. Plastic pollution is bad. Don't you care about plastic pollution. Plastic pollution is a big issue", but then never starting a thread to talk about the issue of plastic pollution.

It would be kind of odd for someone to care so much about plastic pollution that someone would regularly show up on threads about vehicle emissions and air pollution to tell people off and tell them to focus on plastic pollution, but not care enough to start a thread saying "hey everyone, I'm concerned that plastic pollution is bad for the environment. What are your views? Does anyone have ideas how we can do more to tackle it?"
It would almost look like they were more bothered about people discussing vehicle emissions than they are about the consequences of plastic pollution and were just using plastic pollution as a way to shut down discussions about air quality and emissions.

But that is true.

I am concerned with some of the views given on here. Is that not allowed?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you're without a doubt the strangest poster I've ever met. It amuses me, but if you are like this in real life with the absolute bile you spout I'd be quite worried

I’m not the one making up lies for attention.

@Pumperthepumper

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you're without a doubt the strangest poster I've ever met. It amuses me, but if you are like this in real life with the absolute bile you spout I'd be quite worried

I’m not the one making up lies for attention.

😴😴

I’ve done an advanced search for that phrase @Butwasitherdriveway and guess what? No results. I’ll hold my breath for an apology.

@Pumperthepumper

I’ve done an advanced search for that phrase *@Butwasitherdriveway* and guess what? No results. I’ll hold my breath for an apology.

Youl be waiting a long time, you strange person.

Again, I’m not the one making up lies.

@Pumperthepumper

Again, I’m not the one making up lies.

Heard you the first time honey

Right I'm off to get on with my day.

But that is true.
I am concerned with some of the views given on here. Is that not allowed?

Last time I checked it's possible to discuss a range of views on any topic without resorting to hijacking threads by telling people discussing Topic A that they should be talking about Topic B instead, repeatedly.

Like I say, it would be odd for someone to repeatedly show up on threads about vehicle emissions to engage in whataboutery ("yeah but what about plastic pollution, plastic pollution is a problem, why are you so angry about vehicle emissions? No wonder people don't want to talk about vehicle emissions, you're so aggressive. Have you thought about being nicer and focusing on plastic pollution too?) without ever starting a thread about the assorted issues they repeatedly think are worth derailing a thread on vehicle emissions for.

It would be odd if someone repeatedly showed up on threads where parents were discussing their experiences of getting their children SEN support to say "yeah but what about the highly able, why doesn't anyone think about the highly able... what do you mean you're trying to discuss poor provision and a battle to get EHCPs? That's just what I'd expect here, an echo chamber where highly able children don't matter." but then never starting a thread to discuss highly able provision in schools.

It's also odd for posters to regularly show up on threads where women discuss sex based oppression to say "but what about men, what about men's mental health, yeah but men coming suicide, why don't you care about men? What do you mean you want to discuss women's oppression? You're all so aggressive. Why are you ignoring the fact that men have problems too?" without starting threads to discuss the issues that they claim to care about.

@LolaSmiles

But that is true. I am concerned with some of the views given on here. Is that not allowed?

Last time I checked it's possible to discuss a range of views on any topic without resorting to hijacking threads by telling people discussing Topic A that they should be talking about Topic B instead, repeatedly.

Like I say, it would be odd for someone to repeatedly show up on threads about vehicle emissions to engage in whataboutery ("yeah but what about plastic pollution, plastic pollution is a problem, why are you so angry about vehicle emissions? No wonder people don't want to talk about vehicle emissions, you're so aggressive. Have you thought about being nicer and focusing on plastic pollution too?) without ever starting a thread about the assorted issues they repeatedly think are worth derailing a thread on vehicle emissions for.

It would be odd if someone repeatedly showed up on threads where parents were discussing their experiences of getting their children SEN support to say "yeah but what about the highly able, why doesn't anyone think about the highly able... what do you mean you're trying to discuss poor provision and a battle to get EHCPs? That's just what I'd expect here, an echo chamber where highly able children don't matter." but then never starting a thread to discuss highly able provision in schools.

It's also odd for posters to regularly show up on threads where women discuss sex based oppression to say "but what about men, what about men's mental health, yeah but men coming suicide, why don't you care about men? What do you mean you want to discuss women's oppression? You're all so aggressive. Why are you ignoring the fact that men have problems too?" without starting threads to discuss the issues that they claim to care about.

Are you copying and pasting at this point Lola?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4213566-What-would-you-say-if-partner-made-you-this-offer

When people think the thread is a man wanting the house to himself - tell him to get fucked, sounds like they've ordered sex workers

Woman wants house to herself - it's fine, presume you all just want to talk about your periods in private

Are you copying and pasting at this point Lola?
Evidently not.

It's convenient though that you still can't seem to grasp how odd it is for anyone to obsessively join threads about Topic A, repeatedly try to derail them by telling everyone to talk about Topic B.

Did we ever get a reason why those who apparently care about one topic enough to hijack threads don't start threads to raise awareness of their chosen topics? Or are we still on the illogical position of not wanting to engage with certain groups of women, whilst actively seeking out threads to goad and tell them off for not centring men (probably with an inevitable flounce/victim card playing at some point if the meanie women stand their ground)?

@LolaSmiles

Are you copying and pasting at this point Lola? Evidently not.

It's convenient though that you still can't seem to grasp how odd it is for anyone to obsessively join threads about Topic A, repeatedly try to derail them by telling everyone to talk about Topic B.

Did we ever get a reason why those who apparently care about one topic enough to hijack threads don't start threads to raise awareness of their chosen topics? Or are we still on the illogical position of not wanting to engage with certain groups of women, whilst actively seeking out threads to goad and tell them off for not centring men (probably with an inevitable flounce/victim card playing at some point if the meanie women stand their ground)?

Yes. HTH.

Yes. HTH.
Good.
I'm glad we are clear that the position is illogical:

1. Won't start threads about valid issues that affect men that you claim to care about because the women on the other side are so unpleasant that you don't want to engage.
2. So you actively seek out threads where these unpleasant women are discussing issues affecting women in order to goad them and tell them to centre men.

@Mayorquimby2

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4213566-What-would-you-say-if-partner-made-you-this-offer

When people think the thread is a man wanting the house to himself - tell him to get fucked, sounds like they've ordered sex workers

Woman wants house to herself - it's fine, presume you all just want to talk about your periods in private

Is it the same posters who are saying different answers depending on the sex of the OP? Or is it different posters with different opinions?

It's also odd for posters to regularly show up on threads where women discuss sex based oppression to say "but what about men, what about men's mental health, yeah but men coming suicide, why don't you care about men? What do you mean you want to discuss women's oppression? You're all so aggressive. Why are you ignoring the fact that men have problems too?" without starting threads to discuss the issues that they claim to care about.

The one that gets me though is the whining about misandry, without ever being able to say how misandry has any effect in any real sense. Imagine being so high on your horse that you’re willing to make yourself look a total idiot for the sake of an argument you don’t understand anyway?

@Pumperthepumper it’s the absolute radio silence from every poster who leapt in with the sex worker accusations when it became clear it was a woman. And frankly all other statements that said “no you shouldn’t leave the house”

No one is prepared to either say the same to a woman as they would to a man, or admit they would change their advice, so they stay silent

That’s the double standard. I know it’s different posters, we all do, it’s just that the first lot who thought it was a man in the wrong never come back...

[quote BillMasen]@Pumperthepumper it’s the absolute radio silence from every poster who leapt in with the sex worker accusations when it became clear it was a woman. And frankly all other statements that said “no you shouldn’t leave the house”

No one is prepared to either say the same to a woman as they would to a man, or admit they would change their advice, so they stay silent

That’s the double standard. I know it’s different posters, we all do, it’s just that the first lot who thought it was a man in the wrong never come back...[/quote]
Maybe they’re busy? Tag them and see what happens?

I feel like I’ve said this a lot on this thread but I don’t see how you can possibly know what posters opinions are when they don’t post.

But leaving that aside for a minute, why? Why would they give different advice depending on the sex of the poster?

Pumperthepumper
I had noticed that too.
That would be an excellent separate thread though: what misandry is, how it negatively affects men throughout their lives and explore steps to rectify it.

Somehow I get the feeling it's not going to happen and will continue to be plopped into threads about women's experiences.

I also saw that thread you're talking about. It seems that there's a range of posters with a range of views, some of which acknowledge that male pattern behaviour is different to female pattern behaviour. IMO it's a bad sign in a relationship if someone jumps to think that their partner might be having women round the second their wife is out, but given that men in groups (on a class level before NAMALT starts) tend to behave differently to women in groups (again class level), it's not surprising that some women would be wary of a group of men wanting to oust them from their house.
FWIW, I don't think anyone should expect to be able to push their partner out their house to prioritise a mates get together.

And frankly all other statements that said “no you shouldn’t leave the house”
That's funny, because I'm also on that thread and have said my view about kicking partners out for a weekend still stands, and IIRC have seen others saying likewise.

@Pumperthepumper I’ve done the tagging them on other previous threads. Never any response

I know their opinion as they say it. Take that thread. One poster says don’t leave the house as if your partner has mates round it’ll be for sex workers to join them. That’s their view

Based on extensive experience I hypothesise that they would not say that if it were a woman. Ok yes I can never get any of them to respond to confirm or deny, but that’s an answer in itself...

As to the why. Agsin my belief is that a lot of posters project their own bad experiences, and can only ever see a man as being in the wrong or trying to do something awful

@LolaSmiles

And frankly all other statements that said “no you shouldn’t leave the house” That's funny, because I'm also on that thread and have said my view about kicking partners out for a weekend still stands, and IIRC have seen others saying likewise.

Ok tbf I’m referring to the more lurid claims, I should have been clearer.

[quote BillMasen]@Pumperthepumper I’ve done the tagging them on other previous threads. Never any response

I know their opinion as they say it. Take that thread. One poster says don’t leave the house as if your partner has mates round it’ll be for sex workers to join them. That’s their view

Based on extensive experience I hypothesise that they would not say that if it were a woman. Ok yes I can never get any of them to respond to confirm or deny, but that’s an answer in itself...

As to the why. Agsin my belief is that a lot of posters project their own bad experiences, and can only ever see a man as being in the wrong or trying to do something awful[/quote]
Thanks for your reply. I disagree still but I appreciate you taking the time to answer.

Although I have to say, I do see some truth in Lola’s theory that generally groups of men behave in a different way to groups of women, and that’s possibly why the replies could be different. The poster who suggested they were getting sex workers in got a lot of grief thought so I don’t think it’s fair to say that view is representative of mumsnet as a whole.