Argument with husband over using public.toilets

[Mother40]

My husband has been very cautious during the pandemic (I have been cautious but I think he has been over the top). I do avoid using public toilets unless necessary, and would often go behind a busy on a walk rather than use them right now. However, it is my.period right now, so would obviously not want to go behind a bush. In the car I mentioned I might have to use the public toilets. My husband said I should.have.said this before.we.went, and should not be going a walk if I had to use the toilets. This turned into a huge argument and we ended up.only doing half the walk. I feel really angry that he would.cause a big argument over something so silly. I'm sure most people would.use public toilets right now if they had to but he is making me.feel like I'm totally In the wrong and like with most argument we.have will not back down.

Honestly, you should be picking public toilets over peeing outside anyway when they're available.

He's controlling and you shouldn't put up with it.

@raffle

I everyone just going to ignore the peeing behind a bush thing? That’s one of the strangest things I’ve heard

No it's gross. I have a lane behind my house and really don't want it turned into an open air toilet.

Why are you letting him control you like this- its your body your functions and as a woman you have periods that cant be dealth with behind a bush

its your right to go and use a toilet-you wash your hands throughly and even use antibac if it helps you but dictating someones bosil function is highly abusive

bodily*

@Cocomarine

You’re not 5 years old, so:

• he doesn’t get to decide where you go to the toilet
• he certainly doesn’t get to pull the, “why didn’t you go before you came out” line, which again - is for 5 year olds

This. ^ Hell would freeze over before I would let my DH - or anyone for that matter - dictate to me when and where I get to take a piss!

Can you see that this is really controlling OP and quite frankly odd?

I literally couldn't imagine having this conversation with DH and it's not something you should be having to put up with either...

@Crowsaregreat

Your choice whether to use the toilet wherever you go. He's a dick.

Having a period wouldn't stop me going al fresco tho! Wet wipes out a bottle of water to clean your hands, bag for san pro.

Ah those were the days. I'd have been a smug twat too.

Peri menopause changed all that. They'd be looking for a the body if I attempted that these days.

@raffle

I everyone just going to ignore the peeing behind a bush thing? That’s one of the strangest things I’ve heard

I've often had to pee behind a bush when out on a walk. And, tbh, public toilets are often so minging that peeing behind a bush is possible more hygienic than using some toilets.

I've also had to pee between parked cars in a car park, because the council locks all the toilets at 7pm.

I have been trying not to use public toilets but would use one if I really needed to. Wash your hands well at the sink and sanitise when you come out.

Your husband is controlling you. So you're on your period and will need the toilet when you're out and if he knows this, he wouldn't go out with you.

Sounds like he is really trying to keep you in a box. Follow his rules or he won't spend time with you.

What so if you’re on your period he thinks you should only go for short walks? Rather than use a public toilet. He can’t try to decide when you go to the loo, how humiliating.

Your husband is crazy. Who on earth would want to go behind a bush rather than a public toilet?!

Jesus wept! Over a virus the vast majority survive. I'd have long ago told him to fuck off.

I couldn’t even give five minutes to someone who is this batshit over covid ‘risk’, let alone live with them.

Covid has given controlling people more ammunition.

100x this ^^

I take it you don’t children OP. My DD would make your husband’s head explode with how after she needs a wee when out and about!

Your husband is an idiot.

I don't like using public toilets when I can avoid it.. apart from work or in good restaurants/malls etc where there are proper regular cleaning rosters. I would never use those public kiosks, I just think they are likely nasty with germs... coronavirus aside. That being said, aside from my kids, I wouldn't tell someone else what to do or not to do when it comes to bladders & loos.

Is it just a case of anxiety around Covid? You said he’d read up a lot and he’d therefore be aware that Covid can be spread through the aerosols that are produced when you flush a toilet if the lid isn’t down. I’ve been very anxious about Covid and haven’t used a public toilet for the last year for this reason. I know to some people this may seem a bit crazy but I’m not sure from what you’ve said that it’s a control thing, as I’d be similar due to Covid anxiety. I hugely sympathise though as I know it’s no easy thing to live with someone who is very anxious about Covid.

I had to laugh at this, it is SO true!

Covid is spread when you flush a loo? What?

Public toilets are rubbish but you’d rather piss in a bush

Sorry that was in response to the perimenopause comment!!
Has he ever had a period? No. No comments then.

This seems to be like some of the attitudes around aids in the early days, as if the virus is lurking everywhere waiting to jump out on you. His behaviour to you is terrible OP.

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Covid is spread when you flush a loo? What?

Unfortunately yes here’s a link to a reputable news source www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-53047819

I'm 62, prone to nasty coughs (though don't have a specific underlying condition) and have been ultra-cautious for months.

Have still used public toilets when necessary because I needed to. I felt perfectly fine about doing so and only once encountered another woman in there - we were both masked and kept our distance.

Now I've had my first jab, I feel even more confident but will still take the same precautions.