Do men know this is creepy?

[FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18]

Yesterday I was walking in woodland near my home, something I do regularly. I was approaching a gate leading to the lane and a guy was coming through it towards me. I glanced back once I was through the gate and he'd turned around and was now walking behind me. I stopped by a tree and pretended to be fiddling with my phone so I was facing him and kind of stared him down... He then made a 90 degree turn and went up the hill.

I don't think he was actually going to do anything sinister but surely guys know that you don't do an about-face and start following a woman you've just passed in a relatively remote space with no other people around? He wasn't a young lad who might not have realised this is scary for women, he was in his thirties.

I realise men can be clueless but is it possible to be THAT oblivious? Do they do it on purpose or am I paranoid after seeing screenshots from reddit users saying they get a kick out of following women and seeing them get nervous?

[Worldwide2]

I also don't believe for a second that these guys would not take it further eventually.
Scaring girls/women would simply not be enough and it would definitely escalate.

[chocolateorangeinhaler]

Most men are taught (if they have a decent mother or father) to cross the road to avoid following a lone woman or girl in a quiet place.
To say all men do this is like saying all women are gold diggers looking for a meal ticket.
Whoever it was was an idiot. Thank god nothing happened and you're ok.

[Robintakeover]

I’m another one that thinks he might have been a potential predator and didn’t do anything because you were alert to him rather than just trying to creep you out - sorry OP .

[ArcheryAnnie]

I would honestly report this to 101. He may be doing this to other women too, and if the police get multiple reports, they may take a look themselves.

[KeepCoolCalmAndCollected]

By staring him down, it's possible he bottled it and you had a very lucky escape there.

[VenusTiger]

@chocolateorangeinhaler that's what I was trying to put across - and I have been in some serious and scary situations with predators - but I'm being jumped on. I'm off, probaby from MN completely. Done with the bullying pile ons.
Don't have a different opinion.

[YouWerePrettyIWasLonely]

I can absolutely believe this happened, I don't think he was going to just be intimidating though.

When my dd goes out running she has a travel size deodorant in her hand to spray in the face of any man who grabs her. Its happened a couple of times, once while waiting for a bus at 11am.

[WiganNorthWest]

@Gingernaut

Yup. They know it's creepy.

Oh my god the screenshot. How can they say “as long as you don’t actually harass the girl” when they are talking about following her till she is terrified. That is obviously harassment

[BarefootByMoonlight]

But Venus NAMnersALT

[Confusedandshaken]

When my DD first passed her driving test she even used to get this in the car, men tailgating her and then overtaking, then parking and tailgating her again. I think she attracted attention because she looked very young to be driving and this was a way of exerting power and scaring her. It certainly worked, she would be shaking and crying when she got home.

[YouWerePrettyIWasLonely]

@VenusTiger this is a thread about men intentionally scaring women. Coming on with NAMALT is neither necessary or welcome.

[VenusTiger]

@BarefootByMoonlight precisely which is why I've persisted over the years to put across opinions, which is what discussions are all about. I'm tired of it now.

[VenusTiger]

@YouWerePrettyIWasLonely as I pointed out in a post - the generalised 'men' comments aren't welcome either.

[AmberItsACertainty]

@VenusTiger

I've been assaulted and harrassed *@cryh* - I was referring to the 'men' comments that's all I was doing.
I'll keep my experiences to myself from now on. MN is so divisive. There's nothing in wrong in agreeing that not all men XYZ is there. I wished the OP well, as her situation rang true with one of my experiences, but we need perspective in life generally. As I said, teach your sons and partners, talk about it, that's all you can do surely.

There's plenty wrong with agreeing "not all men" . For a start it blindingly obvious and doesn't need saying. More importantly it derails the thread. It makes a thread about WOMEN feeling unsafe into a thread about men. Not everything is about men. Society making everything about men is part of the problem. So you making this thread about men is part of the problem. Which means you are part of the problem.

[MonkeyNotOrgangrinder]

Thank god someone is here to stick up for the poor vulnerable men

[YouWerePrettyIWasLonely]

Do you go on threads about racism and say Not All White People Are Like That or articles on male suicide pointing out that 3 times as many women attempt suicide @VenusTiger ?
Or do you realise if you did it would be a bit arseholey.

[MiaChia]

@VenusTiger

You say that you have been assaulted and harassed. By whom? Men? So you clearly made a mistake thinking that they were decent men, yes? Given that you have proved without a doubt that you, personally, can't tell the good ones from the dangerous ones, why should anyone believe you when you tell us not to be afraid of what men might potentially do to women?

I will ask again, how do we tell which men are 'safe' and which are not? If you know the answer you owe it to your fellow women to spread the word surely?

[BIWI]

@VenusTiger were you one of the posters who also posted 'All Lives Matter' when the protests took place after George Floyd's murder, instead of supporting 'Black Lives Matter'?

Because that's exactly what you're doing here. Minimising the threat that men can pose to women.

[grassisjeweled]

This is why we need to teach our female children how to tell boys/men to fuck off loudly and aggressively.

And teach boy children not to be so bloody pathetic as the idiot who posted that shit. Absolutely dispicable.

[grassisjeweled]

the generalised 'men' comments aren't welcome either.^

Sorry. They are. We're allowed to generalise. Because if we don't, we get harassed, raped, beaten up. I'm sure the men can handle some generalisation for the sake of women's safety. Can't they?

[JamieFrasersAuntie]

but we can't live like this with presuming that ALL men are predators.

This is EXACTLY what we need to assume and that's the problem.

[Tessateacup]

That man was either totally oblivious which is hard to believe given his behaviour or he thought he could enjoy 10mins of stalking you whilst watching your discomfort turn to fear. What a shit!

[Jenasaurus]

[quote VenusTiger]@MiaChia that doesn't make any sense whatsoever - life is a risk and yes, it shouldn't be a risk to walk to the shop on your own, I get that, but what do we do? shut them all away? curfew them ALL? or educate them (as I suggested).
What do we do about domestic violence in the home? What about women who attack their partners? What about female stalkers and female murderers - of course you can't 'point them out' that's a ridiculous thing to say.
My whole point to OP was, sorry this happened to you, it's happened to me, but don't fear EVERY man and let's talk about this openly in case some men don't realise how scary this is for us. Geez![/quote]
The thing is that the men doing this, DO realise how scary this is for us and according to the screenshot are doing it deliberately for kicks.

[21BumbleBees]

I can't believe any man would be unaware that was creepy and/or intimidating behaviour and worry what his intentions were had you not had the awareness and confidence to stare him down OP.

I'm getting so pissed off with increasingly having to curtail solo walks or think about risks with travel plans 'just in case'.

[WarriorN]

I had similar at 9:30 last Monday while jogging.

I passed a disheveled man on my way to the post office, and did actually cross the road, partially for social distancing but also partly as I got a "vibe" from him. then passed him again while walking about 10 min later.

He was at the bus stop so I had to pass nearer than I'd like.

He stared square at me and asked if I'd "been running. As you're all sweaty."

Then said something similar as I passed and ignore him, he turned to address me.

I felt sick. I also immediately thought that he'd have never ever said that to a man.

He enjoyed it.