Do I really need to worry too much about contraception at 39?

[Estasala]

I have a nearly 2 year old and another older DC. NO desire to have any more. Recently stopped breastfeeding so the contraception issue has arisen. For the past 10 years or so DH and I have only used withdrawal as a baby wouldn't have been the end of the world, or we were actively trying. The last DC was hard to come by - a couple of years of trying and a couple of miscarriages in between.

DH is willing to have the snip, but he has some other health issues and I'm just thinking ... really, do we really need to? It feels like doing something permanent to his body when realistically there is very little chance of me getting pregnant and even less as a couple more years go by, if we use withdrawal. I have never got pregnant whilst using withdrawal before now.

I have 2 lots of friends who popped out twins naturally at 38/40.
Of course you need contraception

Yes definitely use contraception! I had both my DC (planned) in my early 40s, got pregnant quickly both times. Am 51 now, recently had a coil removed and the GP gave me a at lecture about using contraception - phoned 2 weeks later to check I had paid attention ans everything. She said I'd be surprised how many women get caught in their early 50s. Just use condoms if nothing else suits.

Condoms would be totally fine with me. I would also be fine with no PIV at all. DH not so keen on either of those options.

Thank you for your comments. A combination of a late period and a friend's snuggly DC 3 popping up on Facebook I think have brought this back to the forefront. I'll have to have a chat with him again.

OP- it is ages since I have used them, but is it still possible to get female condoms? I last used them a good 10 years ago. men often like them because it feels more natural to them. My only issue was that they are a faff to put in and they tend to squeak a bit.

@Tini17

“Hmm but surely most would have had IVF etc? It feels like this is a 5 year issue, max , really.”

No, most would not have had IVF.

Is this a joke post OP, did you miss biology at school or are you really that naive?
Talk to your GP - clearly you’re not up to speed with how human bodies work.

Funnily enough biology at school suggested that pregnancy was pretty much guaranteed from a single unprotected act at any time of the month. Which might be a simple message that's most effective at preventing teenage pregnancy, but is of limited use to women in their 30's planning their families.

When you've spent years temping and charting and measuring hormones and timing DTD and still struggling to conceive, then you realise just how limited education on fertility is at school.

I thought that too then had a surprise pregnancy at 45, it didn't continue and was all a very heart breaking experience. I take the mini pill now so please do x

Yes. I too thought I didn’t need to worry and now have a lovely little DD

Why would you think it's unlikely to fall pregnant at 39??

My Nan was 39 when she had my mum in 1943. 16 & 12 years after my aunts were born.

I wouldn't risk it!

Whenever I read threads like this, I just can't get my head round the fact that people don't mind using the withdrawal method. Honestly, what fun is that for either partner? Especially the man - surely it can't be 100% enjoyable if you're concentrating on pulling out at the last minute?

Let him have the snip, or switch to condoms. I’ve spent the last year researching my family tree and the number of women who had babies in their mid/late forties is absolutely insane. I wouldn’t take the risk personally (unless you’d be okay with DC3).

OP look into the natural cycles app, sounds like it would fit the bill for you

I'm 43 next month and sat feeding my 7 week old baby while my 3yr old plays downstairs.

Both conceived naturally.

Yes! I know of so many people who got pregnant at your age and quite a bit older.
If hes offering to get the snip that's great. It's very straightforward.

Yes of course you need to use contraception unless you want another child...you could still be fertile for a number of years yet.

yes you do! Yours sincerely a mother of twins conceived at the age of 42. Planned, but only took about 6 weeks and 5 shags to get pregnant. Fwiw I was told your chances of twins rise steeply at around 40.

sorry conceived at 41, born at 42.

Yeh my friend was that age when she had her twins sooooo

I’m always amazed at how many woman think breastfeeding and withdrawal are contraceptives!

Of course you can still get pregnant at that age.

Do you secretly want a 3rd child ? Otherwise, pushing away all reasonable methods of not having one is crazy !

The oldest natural (unassisted, no IVF or anything) conception recorded in the UK was at 59. You could easily get pregnant.
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1560739/UK-woman-59-worlds-oldest-natural-mother.html

Yes - are you crazy?! - the snip is a minor op, you do not want an unplanned pregnancy.

If you're still having periods then you can still get pregnant. Also as a pp says as you get past 40 the chance of twins (or even more!) gets much higher. If you can't use hormonal contraception what about the copper coil?

the assumption that most women in their 40s only managed to conceive on ivf is staggering. My friend and neighbour also conceived twins naturally TWICE ( sadly miscarried first pregnancy) over 40 and I have countless friends and acquaintances who have fallen pregnant reasonably easily aged 37 to 44.

If you are having sex and avoiding pregnancy you HAVE to use contraception. It's that simple.
Even contraception has its failures so EVERY single time you have sex there IS a chance of pregnancy.
You as a couple have to decide which method works for you.