DH has told me of a rumour...

[daffodilcity]

DH is a teacher and just called on his way home to say there's a rumour in the year 10 and 11 class that he's an item with a female teacher in his department (he's the only male in his department).

Now, I have OCD and get very anxious about this kind of thing. He's been at the school less than a year, but I still think it's weird. Especially as he says people know about me. I also have a video that went somewhat viral and so the kids at school have mentioned seeing me on that (nothing weird or bad). So it feels odd.

Is this just typical jokey kid rumours or is there something more to this?

Kids love this sort of rumour. We had them about loads of members of staff when I was at school. Honestly they just need to be seen sharing a laugh or chat and they will put 2 and 2 together and make 475838.

I mean, we used to say this about every single teacher at school. Weird he's felt the need to tell you - does he think sometihng is getitng back to you from schoolkids? I would be cautious!

We used to say all sorts of things about our teachers. The fact the kids are saying stuff wouldn’t be an alarm bell for me, is there more to this that makes you worry?

I don’t find it strange that there’s a rumour like this. Kids always talk like this. It’s a bit of silly excitement for them.

I do find it strange he called you on his way home to tell you. As if it’s urgent he gets to you before someone else does.

Definitely had that rumour in our school involving one of the few male teachers. They'd been seen out together TWICE and the story grew legs. When he announced after 2 years that he was actually a priest it was very confusing but proved it all to be bollocks. (And since the staff didn't know showed exactly how much references/background checks were done...)

Every male teacher we had at our secondary school had rumours like this going around about them. As far as I know none of them were true. Kids love this kind of thing.

Doesn’t sound in the least bit weird that pupils are making up rubbish about one male teacher and any other female teacher. I mean, they probably saw them TALKING together in the playground! Or maybe he once made her a cup of tea! Or perhaps they overheard him calling her her first name! Clearly they must be an item!

I’d think nothing of it (wife to a secondary teacher DH here).

Isn't this a totally normal school rumour?

Happened all the time at our school - both primary and secondary!

They're 15/16 years old. All sorts of random made up rumours fly around. What do you think will happen? That strangers who you don't know will think your husband is having an affair, but wasn't subtle enough to keep it secret from his year 10s? Or do you think strangers are more likely to say "haha those teenagers have such wild imaginations"? I can tell you what I would think...

Or are you concerned he actually is having an affair in which case why would he tell you.

I went to an all girl's school with mostly female teachers. Accordingly to the rumours everybody was a lesbian and having affairs with everyone else.

This is so normal at schools! I was apparently in a long standing ‘affair’ with a male teacher and when either of us weren’t smiling it was apparently because we had had a row

We are / were both happily married to other people - I used to joke with my DH about it & when the 2 couples went out for dinner we would have a good laugh about it.

Kids just make up stuff - I did when I was a kid & it always happens as a teacher

It's a common rumour, especially amongst secondary school kids.
When I was at secondary school, all of the pupils and teachers had their own login for the messaging facility (kind of like internal e-mails). One of the computers in a lesson of ours had been left logged into one of the male teachers' accounts, so of course being the little shits we were, we egged each other on to send messages from it, including "romantic" messages to one of the female teachers.
Absolutely not ok looking back on it years later! And it could have caused a lot of trouble for the teachers involved.
But at the time we didn't really think much of it.

Not sure, the only teachers we gossiped about having an affair were. About six months after the school trip where they were both missing every evening (which started the gossip), he left his wife for her. As far as I know they're still together now.

Phoning on the way home seems odd. Does he always phone on the way home? Did it come up naturally in conversation or did he lead it with it? Are you friends with any parents of his pupils?

While the rumours can be usual, I'd wonder why he felt the need to call you about this on his way home, especially as you have OCD. For me the jury would still be out on this one.

You have a video that went viral? Do tell

@RuggerHug

Definitely had that rumour in our school involving one of the few male teachers. They'd been seen out together TWICE and the story grew legs. When he announced after 2 years that he was actually a priest it was very confusing but proved it all to be bollocks. (And since the staff didn't know showed exactly how much references/background checks were done...)

Why would staff be aware of the background checks? It's none of their business

@UhtredRagnarson

I don’t find it strange that there’s a rumour like this. Kids always talk like this. It’s a bit of silly excitement for them.

I do find it strange he called you on his way home to tell you. As if it’s urgent he gets to you before someone else does.

I can't work out if it's getting to me first or just him being normal.

He calls me every day on his way home and tells me what's happened. I do tend to have the line that I want to know everything and not telling me would be secretive. So perhaps a lose lose for him.

This sort of thing is normal. A rumour went round our school that the (middle-aged, male) PE teacher was shagging the (young, female & v attractive) French teacher. She was miles out of his league.

@UhtredRagnarson It sounds like a silly rumour, and the OP's husband has called on the way home (as he normally does) and thinks he should mention it because he knows she has OCD and by her own admission gets very anxious about these types of things.

Kids love a rumour, especially about teachers. I remember hearing some very juicy ones when I was in secondary.. and some were plain malicious too.

X post with
" I do tend to have the line that I want to know everything and not telling me would be secretive"

He must be under a lot of pressure having to live like this. Perhaps an innocent friendship has developed because he needs someone to talk to. How have things been during lock down?

Everyone at my previous school was convinced that I was married to the caretaker. We even received joint Christmas cards. He was actually my husbands cousin but we had the same surname so must have been married 😂.

If he knows you are anxious and that not telling you would be considered secretive then it sounds to me like he is trying to do the right thing.

OP, I hope you are getting help with your anxiety and paranoia, or you'll end up in a bad state and drive your DH away eventually. Meant kindly.

He calls me every day on his way home and tells me what's happened.

In that case I don’t find him calling strange at all. I don’t think you’ve anything to worry about here at all.