To wonder why bystanders will ignore a crime?

[Maria53]

Tonight I reported an incident to the police. I heard a young girl screaming over and over again and shouting to be left alone. When I looked outside I saw she was being chased. Acting on autopilot I pulled on my jacket & went outside to investigate/potentially threaten the attacker with a police phone call.

When I got there 3 people walking by at the time were talking about it & the two people were gone. One said they had seen the girl being forcefully pushed to the ground.

Since Sarah Everard I think people in general are on high alert for this sort of thing. In Glasgow, where I am from, a woman named Moira Jones was murdered in a park. Later in court, bystanders said they had heard her screams as they walked past but did nothing - and regretted it bitterly.

When I was talking to my mum on the phone later after the attack, she said I shouldn't have gone to the street to investigate. AIBU to think people are likely to ignore a potentially serious crime due to fear? Or is there another reason for it?

Also this girl's screams were LOUD, I am stll shaken up thinking about it and no one else on the highly populated street had stepped out to look. Only these people walking past at the time.

I think most people would help given the right circumstances. But the circumstances, and the individual's perception, are everything.

In my experience it's about the circumstances of the incident. I have intervened when I've been on my own when I saw a lad pushing and shoving a girl and when I saw a man being beaten up. However I can remember being on a train with some very aggressive men and my two ds's when they were little and I didn't say anything for fear for my boys, and because there was no escape route. I did tweet the British transport police on that occasion but that was probably pointless.

Yanbu. My 12 year old fell of his bike and badly broke his arm it needed operating on. He rang me and by the time I got to him he had gone in to shock and was all dizzy and nauseous on the floor on a busy street only 1 person stopped to ask if he was ok and she gave him a tissue out her bag for the blood and walked on.

Sorry I know its not a crime but reminded me of it.

[quote Emeraldshamrock]Another one was an experiment with a lost DC in a shopping centre in London. People ignored the DC.

[/quote] This is not particularly grate experiment kmo. The child wouldn't even register with me most likely because there is no distress or anything. If it would register, the first thing you do is to look around for parents. Which you would assume one or both of the women looking at the child while standing nearby are... Peopel can be pretty obsertvant to these details. And if I were a male, no way in hell would I approach not distressed little girl. Also I have an EE accent so you would soon have on lical pages that EEs are circling around to not just steal your dogs, but also children😂

I think intervening would be what I'd do if I had back up - another adult or two to make it less likely I'd be turned on or harmed. Otherwise I most definitely would call the police.

If a young child was being hurt though I think maternal instinct would kick in and I'd step forward without thinking.

DH got involved once between a guy and his 'girlfriend' he lamped DH one and she kicked him for trying to tell her 'BF' to leave her alone. DH ended up with 10 stitches and it was hit and miss at to whether he'd keep some teeth as well. He will never get involved again.

When my mum was in her 70s, she was in Central London going to attend a hospital appointment (alone). She saw a car driven by a man, which was pursued by a car containing several people, which caught him up and then they tried to pull the man out and started to hit him. My little mother rushed up and shouted at them to leave him alone at once. Luckily (!), they did and left the scene, leaving my mum to check if the man needed any further help. None of the many passers by (lunchtime in a West End side road by major teaching hospital) did anything to help the victim, even after attackers had left. It was very dangerous for my mum but I greatly admired her courage.

@Emeraldshamrock

but I was at the stage where I was all ‘yea, everything is fine, nothing to see here’ and they left again Why didn't you take the help.

Because I loved him. Because it ‘wasn’t that bad’. Because he didn’t really mean it. Because I shouldn’t have provoked him by chatting to a male friend of mine earlier in the night. Because I didn’t know that men acted any differently to their loved ones, judging by every man I knew closely by that point (charming and pleasant externally but abusive behind closed doors). Because he would’ve been so much worse once we got home alone together. Take your pick. I left him in the end, and never looked back. Now happily married to a lovely, kind man.

As other posters have said, it's the intervening, even if it didn't stop the incident, even if you only phone the police and then go to check on them after, that sends the message that denormalises the abuse. When you grow up certain ways, it's easy to accept, say, stalking and daily non fatal strangulation, as I did, as normal, and when I was a youngster, the police's reaction to my call for help on a couple occasions certainly normalised the "low impact" forms of violence (eg. Not punching, not hitting head or face) which certainly should have set off risk assessments and red flags. My life was in danger and only I seemed to care or notice. Having been bullied and no-one cared many times due to autism and people lying about me, it was easy to feel really my life mattered to noone.

Then one day during my second abusive relationship, a little old lady intervened when I was being harassed and stalked in the crowded, daylight street by my fully insane and psychotic partner. He left immediately, and her bravery, I will never forget and determined I would always pay it forward if the opportunity arose.

And again.

Call the police.

Just realised. I'm a do something person. Whenever I've said right we need to X. Others always say no.

Even my DH didn't want me to call the police from the safety of our house once when something was happening outside.

I do and have steamed in, it's a personality type. I totally understand most people don't.

But please call the police. Or if you feel safe, shout I've called the police. That will stop a lot of things.

Also as an older woman there is a lot of opportunity to bumble in. You're not a thread. Oh hello love I haven't seen you for ages! You ok?

Have got a couple of teen girls away from men who were hassling them like that.

Anyway.

Calling the police costs nothing. If you look and think oh shit then just call. Why do others say no no?! But they do.

Ignore them. Trust your judgement. Get help.

I once called the police about a domestic violence situation I had witnessed when walking with my kids.
I didn’t get involved because I had my very young children with me, the man sounded unhinged and dangerous and I couldn’t risk my kids’ lives for the sake of saving an adult female.
At the end of the day, I walked around the corner and phoned from down the road, far enough away to not be heard by the perpetrator.
I also called the police on a drug drop I witnessed, but again, didn’t want to get involved, as it could mean getting stabbed or otherwise by drugged up young people, and frankly I value my life too much.
Leave it to the people who are trained to deal with these situations is my opinion.

I was shopping with my 2 year old niece and 5 year old nephew. My nephew was showing me a toy when I realised my niece had disappeared.

Cue the worst minutes of my life. I searched the shop, asked the shop assistants, but nothing. I was about to leave the shop when a woman with a buggy approached me. She had my niece with her!

It turned out my niece had wandered off following another child out with his family. Woman with buggy saw my niece trailing this family and asked them if my niece was with them. When they said no, she took my niece back to the shop where I was.

There was no harm done but if buggy woman had not stepped in, my niece would have been left wondering the streets alone. I dread to think what could have happened.

To this day I have not forgotten that wonderful woman with her buggy and her intervention.