To ask if you’ve been harassed, assaulted, abused, or raped or in any way by men?

[TrialOfStyle]

YANBU - you have been (in ways described below or beyond)
YABU - you have not been (in ways described below or beyond)

It’s just a quick show of hands, really, as I know some people are skeptical of the recent polls.

Obviously it’s entirely up to you to define this but harassment I would consider anything from (but not limited to) catcalling, unwanted comments (in virtue of your looks/body/attractiveness (yes, being told to smile) femininity, negative parenting as a mother and not just as a parent, or in some way negative biology of woman), stalking, persistence when you’ve already said no.

Assault - physic or verbal.

Abuse - emotional, physical, mental or sexual

Rape - including (but I consented to x but he did y)

I have had everything from the above (which is why my list includes it, but I certainly have miss r so things. However I’d be interested in the poll to see the responses).

Ps - before it’s ask, I’m clearly not a journalist or someone being toady (go ahead and advance search). I’m just curious to see how to polls align.

On top of the standard low-level lecherous comments, I was sexually assaulted at my first year of university. My friends didn't believe me and I eventually dropped out and went to a different uni.

When I was a teen, I spent a lot of time on chat rooms. I was led into sexual chats with several older men, up to and including sending sexual pictures of myself while I was underage. One of these men was married and in his mid 20s, another one I vividly remember typing out how he wanted to take my virginity and "see the drops of blood".

I also had sex with a 21-year-old several times when I was 15. I was besotted with him. I was depressed and self-harming at the time, and I used to pour my heart out to him because I was fragile and had low self esteem and was just amazed that he would even pay attention to me, and we started a sexual relationship. He worked at my high school in a support function. He is now a police officer. It took me years to see how messed up that was.

Honestly, it took me a while to remember all these things. I think I block them out. I've never told all this to anyone in real life. Frankly I'm still ashamed at my younger self, which I know isn't right.

Also not willing to discuss on here but Yes to all 3.

Yes

@MistressoftheDarkSide

And people wonder why I'm slightly unhinged .........

Only slightly? You're doing better than me.

Yes to all here too.

Why are you asking though?

And why the fuck are people posting stories about it for perverts to wank over?

Sorry to post as a guy on a sensitive thread - I haven't read the responses and will continue not to, just post this.

I've had three long term relationships, and all of them have had experiences of either sexual abuse or harassment, from their mid teens onwards.

Every close female friend I've had has had a #metoo worthy tale, from harassment to rape. My closest friend was molested by one of her alcoholic mother's equally alcoholic 'gentleman friends' and buried it until she gave birth to her first child, when the memory resurfaced. She needed a lot of therapy just to be intimate with her partner again. The same man sexually abused her severely autistic non-verbal little sister.

I always thought of myself as not part of that problem, but a lot of the stories from the #metoo movement, and realising how threatening 'lad' behaviour can be, made me realise that some of my teenage behaviour wasn't acceptable. I'm sorry.

I have two stepdaughters and a daughter, and it terrifies me. It feels impossible to protect them from, but I speak to them about any patriarchy-embedded ideas they bring home from school or friends.

Yes I have and I have never spoken to a soul about it.

All of them... it wasn’t until I joined Mumsnet that I realised certain things were considered rape, and pretty much every women I know personally has experienced them, having sex with me whilst I’m asleep, pressuring until you just give in I didn’t realise that was considered rape as I thought If you eventually gave in you consented, like I said most women I know have had both of those happen.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

and back.

And why the fuck are people posting stories about it for perverts to wank over?

Possibly because people don't necessarily realise what kind of sick fetishists can sometimes infiltrate this site. But it's a case of once seen, can't unsee. The OP will usually not return, or will return like a fish to bait as soon as challenged and immediately deny it. It's pretty transparent. They're the online equivalent of the old 'heavy breathers'.

I've warned people elsewhere when I've spotted them from a country mile away, like an obvious thread not long ago about the contents of people's dirty laundry baskets. OP bobbed up like a whack-a-mole when asked why they could possibly want to know about women sniffing the crotches of their worn items, issuing all the predictable denials, no I'm not a perv (but just by the way, this is in no way weird, fetishistic territory and how come it made ME uncomfortable? (In which case, he'd have to try harder than that) ...

Not too difficult to believe these creeps are still out there online, or that some will find their way onto a site mostly catering to women. The posters on that thread mainly ignored me but I considered I'd done my good deed for the day!

Asked for a blowjob at 10 years old by a builder.
Followed at 13 years old.
13/14 years old I dated a 20 year old until I realised how gross that was
Sexually assaulted / groped multiple times in bars etc

Yes, first incident was at 3 yrs old when a man tried to abduct me while my mum and i were waiting at a bus stop. Middle of London, so 2 passerbys gave chase and he dropped me eventually..

I've now experienced everything mentioned in opening post.

Too many times to even remember. Everything but rape - and only because I managed to fight the bastard off.

Staggered that anyone hasn’t been.

Sadly out of my friendship group and family I don't know anyone that hasn't been subjected to sexual assault, harassment, rape.
I was born mid 70's it was something you just put up with, while at the same time knowing no one would do anything if you did report it. I've been groped on public transport as a very young teen. Sexually assaulted by a tutor "helping" me with GCSE studies, harassed in the workplace by a sexy guy wanting to know how old I was when I lost my virginity and rubbing himself against me, honestly the list is long and exhausting and the same for all my friends.

Yes and everyone woman I know has.

All of the obove except for the stalking. I am not surprised in the least by the poll results sp far, sadly.

**That was seedy guy not sexy guy

A man propositioned me on the street in London and tried to get me to go into a local hotel. I was waiting outside for my then boyfriend to get a pizza. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and grabbed my arm to lead me away. I shouted no and luckily ran away but I’ll never forget it. Same boyfriend assaulted me on more than one occasion and I was physically and mentally abused by him, once in the worst way possible.

Cat calling, assaulted in bars etc. yes, probably just like vast majority of women.

Yes

sorry op I'm not anas I think your spectrum is too wide and gives no meaningful answer.

Along way between cat calling and rape and I honestly think placing them in the same category is offensive.

YANBU

Raped when i was 7 (make)
Sexually groomed and assaulted pre-14 (perpetrator sent to jail, on sex abuse charges, but not mind) (male)
Psychological, physical and sexual abuse throughout childhood (male and female)
Sexual street harassment - childhood and young adulthood (males)

So many instances. I was extremely vulnerable and i was silenced on so many occasions. So many times authorities could have stepped in but main perpetrator was excellent at putting on a show.

Its all horrific really, especially as not one of the perpetrators would ever admit or have to take responsibility/be prosecuted for there crimes against me.

Shocking 92% so far

Yanbu - from myself and 99% of women I know

Harassment, assault, abuse. Indecent exposure and sexual activity of a man in front of me and a group of friends.