To ask if you’ve been harassed, assaulted, abused, or raped or in any way by men?

[TrialOfStyle]

YANBU - you have been (in ways described below or beyond)
YABU - you have not been (in ways described below or beyond)

It’s just a quick show of hands, really, as I know some people are skeptical of the recent polls.

Obviously it’s entirely up to you to define this but harassment I would consider anything from (but not limited to) catcalling, unwanted comments (in virtue of your looks/body/attractiveness (yes, being told to smile) femininity, negative parenting as a mother and not just as a parent, or in some way negative biology of woman), stalking, persistence when you’ve already said no.

Assault - physic or verbal.

Abuse - emotional, physical, mental or sexual

Rape - including (but I consented to x but he did y)

I have had everything from the above (which is why my list includes it, but I certainly have miss r so things. However I’d be interested in the poll to see the responses).

Ps - before it’s ask, I’m clearly not a journalist or someone being toady (go ahead and advance search). I’m just curious to see how to polls align.

I've been raped twice. The first was a friend of a friend at a house party, I was really drunk but I remember everything...I've never said a thing because I was embarrassed...the second time was on a beach in Greece, I don't remember a thing, I was being kicked in the head by a group of men when a young lad dragged me away and saved me....he fought them, then got me to safety and gave me his phone to call home. Even though there are sick men out there that do this horrendous stuff to women, there are still men out there that are totally against it and would fight a gang of thugs to protect a woman they don't even know! And I am pretty sure if I ever did out the friend of a friend he wouldn't have many friends left. Most men do not agree with this kind of behaviour and it's quite sad that they are all being tarred with the same brush, especially with cat calling and things, that's building site banter, not a threat to your safety.

The #MeToo hashtag makes horrifying reading. Not only for the frequency but the severity of these issues.

Some key educational and trade unions are currently collecting data on this, as the wonderful Dr Jessica Taylor. You can find references to these on social media.

This is the other pandemic: the more deep-rooted one that only now is starting to be talked about.

Name changed for this.
Raped three times by men. Once on my 14 bday by a waiter. Once on holiday in Africa when I was 15 and once drugged and raped in a nightclub aged 19. All horrific and all by men. Countless other things have happened to me that are probably really awful but are masked by the above.
I reported none of it :(

All of the above. Some of them numerous times

Grandfather
Senior male colleague (reported, no action taken)
Every male boss after first job
Rape by ex bf after abortion
To the milder forms of harassment such as:
You'd be beautiful if you: smoked, wore eye make up, called bl*w job lips by friends husbands.
Sickening now I look back at it all but I knew at the time it was wrong and degrading, but sadly felt I had somehow done something to deserve it.

God yes - I think you'd be stretched to find a woman who hasn't?
From being flashed at in a park aged about 8 to only last week being harassed/catcalled "hiya darlin' gizza smile" type comments by some builders and the day after having a lone man wolf whistle at me when I was walking in some quite secluded woods (I'm 40 years old now!) - it angered me that I was made to feel scared to be alone even out in a safe area in broad daylight. I kept on turning around to see if he was following me. Why did he feel the need to do that?
Also everything in between -groped in bars, had abuse shouted at me and extremely aggressive behaviour from men in public (road rage type incidents which wouldn't have happened if dh had been with me) sexual harassment in the workplace, and other sexual coercion-type stuff I'd rather not mention or maybe don't even know how to put into words from ex-partners.

I get scared for my dd's. I know it may not be fair to say this but the older I get the more I really hate men.

Yes, sadly most between the ages of 14-15 years old. Different perpetrators.

Yanbu.

YANBU however I have been sexually assaulted by a woman as well as by men. I'm female.

Yes I've been harassed, mostly on nights out as a teen/ in my early 20's.

I was assaulted/ abused by a neighbour when I was about 13 or 14.

All 4 . Some as a child . All as grown woman .

No, never. I won't walk anywhere on my own at night though. In the winter it gets dark by 4.30pm. I get angry as I know I should be safe to walk somewhere but would never risk it.

Yes.

Sexual harassment started in high school. The boys would go around smacking girls arses and pulling their thongs.

Sexualy harassment on nights out, brushed up against, grabbed, groped every weekend.

Assaulted during a night out. A man tried to kiss me and when I politely declined, I was punched in the gut and winded.

Raped by a friend, far too drunk to give consent. In and out of consciousness as he had sex with me. He is now a copper (not envy).

One occasion I remember when I was a student, a guy in a club started dancing with me and my friend, then turned to me and stuck his tongue down my throat, squeezing my left boob at the same time. I removed his hand, and then my friend came and dragged me away from him. I gave her such a big hug for doing that. That's probably the worst I've had, I don't think there have been any similar incidents.

Yup.

Followed and grabbed by a stranger in daylight on a busy high street at around 11. I remember ducking into shops and waiting, hoping he'd disappear, but he would reappear seemingly from nowhere when I came out.

Wanked at on a bus, twice. One guy tried to follow me off the bus when I faked needing to get off.

Date raped at 18

Those are the main things. Other than that catcalled and groped more times than I'd like to remember.

All of the above to varying degrees by various men.

Yanbu.

Started at age 4. Last time was 2 days ago (verbal harassment for not giving my number).

I was hoping I was old enough and fat enough that the abuse portion if my life was over.

I've armed my daughters with skills I never had though so hopefully my life won't be their lives.

Yes beaten up and stalked by a previous partner

Men exposing themselves
Been followed while on a walk aged 13
Raped (while drunk, by a "friend")
Been hit by a boyfriend
Stepdad used to stare at my breasts
Been followed at night in my car, had to pull over and knock on a house (before having a mobile)
Groped by a shopkeeper
Grandfather touched my bra through my clothes by pretending to pat me on the back. I was 12, and froze with horror. I instinctively knew that what he was doing was wrong. I was so happy when he died.

And more. All men.

Yes, all of the above.

My daughters too, to varying degrees

Flashed at twice. 11 the first time, 14 the second.
Attempted abduction aged 9 ( family dog interviened) . Police informed for all 3.

Oh, and in even the most serious situations even my nearest and dearests were in favour of not rocking the boat and encouraging me to take responsibility for my own safety by moving away / moving on as fast as possible with no chance of closure.

The one occasion I approached the police because my ex DH took leave of senses and drugged me without my knowledge, I had proof and they told me that unless he intended to poison me it wasn't a criminal matter. And I was sent away with a flea in my ear when I demurred.

And people wonder why I'm slightly unhinged .........