To think that being stressed and on the brink of a breakdown is just the new normal?

[SylviaPlath1984]

I was wondering if it was just me, that I'm burned out and exhausted but most people are pretty happy and laid back and have plenty of spare time to themselves...

But looking through a few posts here, it seems like everyone is really struggling. Being pulled in all directions, kids, housework, job, partner, no time for ourselves...

So am I wrong? Is your life pretty chilled and if so how/why, what am I doing wrong? Or as I suspect is the new normal to just work yourself to the bone and feel totally wiped out 24/7

I think for me - and certainly for DH - all the fun stuff is gone or suspended in lockdown, but all the boring, mundane, and/or stressful shit is still here with us. So the balance is completely out of whack in our work and our lives.

As an aside, I'm interested to know what jobs people do that are paid well but not stressful and where can I apply?!!
Both son's are engineers and have been busy.
One has had a load of overtime.
I work for a county council so we've had to change the way we work but its been OK. My team and many others are half working from home half in the office as we can't have to many people in the building at once so it is a good balance.

I'm edging towards just giving up to be honest. I've been home shielding due to blood cancer for over a year. My DH is WFH so we have an income, but we haven't seen any of our grown-up kids except on a screen since Covid arrived. I miss them so badly and I cry every day with the fear that life will never go back to a place where I can feel safe.

I was diagnosed with a second cancer in September last year (unrelated to the blood cancer I already have) and the terror of having treatment for that during a pandemic, in a hospital with a high number of covid cases will probably never leave me.

My consultant has told me that blood cancer patients have a very high chance of not getting much, if any protection from the vaccine, so I'm just wondering what the point is to my life now?

@Kiftsgate
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'My consultant has told me that blood cancer patients have a very high chance of not getting much, if any protection from the vaccine, so I'm just wondering what the point is to my life now?'

We are aiming for herd immunity with the vaccines, so even if you cannot get the full protection from it, every person who has it has less chance if passing it on - protecting the herd. My sympathies to you, what an awful time you have had.

I posted earlier but I’ve took today of work as holiday as struggling and I’m currently sitting in the car in tesco car park with a takeaway coffee listening to the radio and “That’s what friends are for” is playing and I’ve just broke down in tears as one of my oldest friends passed away in November and this has reminded me how much I’m missing her and missing seeing all my friends and family
to all those struggling x

@Whattheduck I’m so sorry. Good you are taking a day off and maybe getting to grieve a bit. I think trying to hold it together all the time can create more stress than checking out and letting yourself just go through what you’re feeling. Have a good day off minding yourself, try to just rest and relax however best suits you maybe xxx

@PamelaPeaches when I'm too tired to eat properly I open a tin of soup, usually that 2 of the 5-a-day. I eat it with a lump of crusty bread, stir half a tin of mixed vegetables or add a few spoons of rice into it to bulk it out. Then follow with tinned fruit and ice cream. If I really can't eat at all for health reasons I drink Fortisip nutrition drinks. Being tired doesn't have to mean eating junk. It's about accepting you get tired, setting up your cupboards with easy but healthy things. I love yoga too. I especially like that things like walking, cycling, yoga, swimming are all things that children can do too so it's possible to exercise even if you have no alone time.

There is just nothing to blunt the edges of it all, except alcohol and that’s not a good road to go do either.

I am lucky that I have one child who is 12 and have a good job that is easy to do from home. I was much more stressed when I was commuting and trying to juggle that with pick ups from primary school. I have also stopped drinking alcohol since the lockdown which has put me on an even keel rather than ups and downs. I do appreciate my situation is rare though and I massively appreciate it.

Same here OP. Constantly trying to figure out if there's a way out of the hell hole that is my job at the moment. Covid has changed my moderately stressful job into extremely stressful.

Don't mean this in a nasty way but so relieved to read some of your comments and realise it's not just me. While I am one that's never been really outgoing or the life and sole of the party. No matter what crops up, I have always just got on with it. Quite a patient person and fairly easy going. However, I have over the past few weeks, I have been having, what I am calling "my sad days". This week, for 4 days I have felt really low, finding it very hard to get motivated to do anything and feeling quite weepy. Really hate feeling like this, but just hoping it passes

Always had robust, almost rude, mental health. Now I don’t know what the hell is going on. I feel... untethered. I have a family, house, garden, job so no specific hardships associated with past year but I feel like I have no control over anything and it’s shaken me.

Definitely how I (and DH) am feeling 😔

At the actual end of my tether here. Work is awful and I’m not sure how much longer I can take working there.
Home is ok but I am so fed up of the monotony.

I just hate my existence now.

Yes. I hear you, I'm there too. Nothing to look forward to, family members I don't think I'll see again, a family funeral on the horizon that most of us won't be able to get there and support, financial and work crises through the last 12 months with no end in sight and worried all the time about income, stir crazy...... it's horrible isn't it? Same thoughts about how much longer can go on like this.

I was chatting to staff at one of my kids' schools yesterday and the TA said all the staff were on their knees, everyone seems so tired and overdone and stressed, kids and adults. At least everyone over 18 in the place is working flat out to try and help the kids feel safer and happier.

I had a breakdown 6 weeks ago. I’ve had the most stressful year of my life compounded by the pandemic. 6 weeks ago I literally broke down, had panic attacks, couldn’t breathe snd thought I was dying. I’ve been signed off since, been having counselling but thinking of giving medication a try.
I’m due back in work on Monday but I’m going to extend my sick paper as I don’t think I’m ready yet and am still having counselling.
Feel a failure 😢

Not randomly writing off family members - just re read that and it looks awful! There's a few elderly much loved ones, and I'm seriously starting to worry that the restrictions may not end in their lifetime.

I'm feeling just the same as you OP.🤔
This latest lockdown has totally battered me mentally. I lost my father to Covid just before Christmas, that has affected me in some ways I think. Working in a school five days a week with constant threat of Covid and all the stuff that goes with that, then go home and, well, that's it really.
No social life, no meeting up with friends for a coffee or a meal out. Like many, I've not been out anywhere since October, except to go to work or food shopping.
One thing I have learnt about myself is that my normal ball-breaking resilience isn't quite what I thought it was. ☹
Maybe then we are all being too hard on ourselves at this extraordinary time?

Yep, totally wiped out. Last year would have been difficult regardless but covid has certainly not helped as it’s taken away all the ways to decompress.

I’m a SAHM of a 2 year old, with a narcissistic husband who doesn’t help with childcare/ offer any emotional support. I had 2 miscarriages last year, one of which was right before lockdown 1, during which I had a bit of a breakdown. Am now 8 months into a pregnancy which I’m incredibly grateful for but has been unbelievably difficult physically. I am lucky that we are financially comfortable and so I have had some help with childcare from a part time nanny in recent months but TBH it feels like it only scratches the surface .... as soon as she leaves I feel like I’m drowning again as I have so little energy.

Every day is a struggle.

Pre covid, I was an extrovert with tons of energy. I was working, 2 kids and socialising a lot. I did Pilates and and felt generally great.
Now one year of covid life and I'm like the opposite and I hate my life. I lost my job lockdown 1 and not going out, so I'm less busy. But I am exhausted everyday, need a nap every afternoon. The house is a mess. I've put on 2 stone. I feel like I'm barely functioning and dreading this situation dragging on, with talk of a third wave. I'm rarely hanging on.

Everyone I know is exhausted - it's not just you

I love my own company and have no problem being on my own. I cant be bothered with visitors, so enjoying lockdown. Also WFM and no longer dealing with public face to face. Living the dream!!

I'm sorry so many of us are feeling so down. For me the pandemic has made just about everything crumble but the very worst is my D'S was sectioned 3 WEEKS ago. He's only 16.

I'm the same. I've just spoken to my husband and I am giving my 3 months notice in on Monday. We need some breathing space. It's not ideal but one of us will break soon if we don't do something about it. 3 primary age children and both of us working over 90 hours a week between us isn't working. I will have to find another job but it will be very part time!