To think that being stressed and on the brink of a breakdown is just the new normal?

[SylviaPlath1984]

I was wondering if it was just me, that I'm burned out and exhausted but most people are pretty happy and laid back and have plenty of spare time to themselves...

But looking through a few posts here, it seems like everyone is really struggling. Being pulled in all directions, kids, housework, job, partner, no time for ourselves...

So am I wrong? Is your life pretty chilled and if so how/why, what am I doing wrong? Or as I suspect is the new normal to just work yourself to the bone and feel totally wiped out 24/7

@Watchingthetelly That’s pretty much it for me too. I had pre existing MH issue that were managed with GP medication and a strict routine, which all went to Hell when lockdown 1 happened and I had to homeschool 3DC whilst doing my STEM degree from home... I don’t even know if I will pass this year.

I can really relate to this. That’s been me for at long long time. Plates continually spinning, trying not to let anything drop and competing demands from work, family and zero self care. Never enough time to do anything properly and never able to relax.
I always though this happened to other people, but last year my body broke. I’ve had a long and serious illness that’s made living normally impossible. I think my body just said ‘enough’ and stopped working. It’s showed me I’m not invincible. I hope it doesn’t happen to you ladies but strangely it’s also the best thing that happened to me. It’s not sustainable to carry so much stress for so long. Having come out the other side I would say to myself before ‘Look after yourself’. I know wouldn’t have listened then but by sharing this I hope it helps someone. It isn’t sustainable and you matter too x

I think it we get another lockdown most people won't cope.

Yeah, I'm on the brink. Pretty much the same as everyone else, stressful work situation, kids wellbeing, house a permanent tip which gets me down but don't have the time to keep on top of it. Husband working 24/7 so never here to help me.

Now both parents in their early seventies diagnosed with dementia. I'm pulled in every direction.

@flowers24 we need to stop that from happening.

Yep, not sure how though.x

Same here, my boss asked me last week how I was getting along in the course I am doing, just a normal conversation and I just burst into tears.

Dd2's bubble broke 3 days after they went back and the logistics of getting dd1 to school and having dd2 off were just a nightmare alongside dp and I trying to juggle working, both of us out of the home. I was OK when they were off as they had to be at home and that was that. Being back at school really triggered my anxiety - in case of another bubble bursting.

I'm more relaxed this week, as we are approaching the holidays.

I was OK pretty much all the way through since last March.
The last month I have been a snappy, forgetful, tearful, unreasonable and generally unpleasant person. I am really, really low and fed up.

Yes I’ve had enough because -

1 I have long COVID and it’s beyond difficult trying to live and work
2 I am desperate to see family and for things to feel even as normal as they did last summer .
3 I am supporting family members with various mental health issues when my own is crumbling
4 I just feel pretty flat!
5 no faith left in the government after so many mistakes that a simpleton could have foreseen
6 finding the news is just harrowing to watch what with the crazy no-protest bill, people living in hideously wet flats, women being attacked, stalked, raped and murdered and realising that no one with any power is doing shit about it

So all told I feel overwhelmed and hopeless ...

Constantly stressed and on the verge of tears. Not sure he much more I can take.

People who are stressed understandably complain and blow off steam more.

The first decade of my adult life was pretty much a series of hellish events that battered me left right and centre. But currently life is peachy. I work part time in a demanding career and have a toddler but feel like I have loads of free time, can sleep as much as I like, supportive husband, good friends, nice house and no money issues. Some health issues yes but on the whole I’ve never been more relaxed and content, despite the horribleness of the pandemic (And having a new baby during it).

Same but also worried that bosses are accepting the new normal ie they have a workforce doing long hours from home who feel they can’t rock the boat.

Day to day I’m a lot more relaxed than I was pre covid. But that’s because my work is very quiet, and that’s not a good thing from my perspective. If it doesn’t start to pick up soon I’ll really start to feel a different kind of pressure. Previously it was spinning too many plates and stressing about how to deliver. It’s slowly edging towards concern about generating enough income to keep my team employed.

Currently I am so tired that I hurt. Pretty certain that my class bubble will burst again soon as kids will not social distance or think about what we are asking them to do.
Parents complain that ill children need to be removed from school- we realise it is inconvenient, but that is the reality of keeping schools open. Kids then say they told mum that they felt sick/ had a headache that morning and mum said they should go in anyway.... We get grief about testing, about sore hands from washing, about the smell of the disinfectant, about staggered start and finish times.
I spend Christmas in isolation as a pupil tested positive, I cried almost every day then. I really can't face it again.

I was really struggling in Jan / Feb - homeschooling, studying and everything else just got on top of me and I didn't even realise until I had awful panic attacks ( never had them before) and insomnia and was snapping and crying at everything - it was my husband who pointed it out and suggested I needed to talk to the Dr. It just sort of crept up on me. I am on AD's now which have definitely helped and I feel so much better getting some decent sleep at night and my panic attacks aren't as intense or as frequent. You are not alone, most of the mom's I see on the school run are suffering the same. I think the pandemic and winter / lockdown fatigue has certainly aggravated things. Thinking of you all.

I’m the same, 3 children under 5, no support bubble, ageing parents and one has cancer. Been made redundant and industry I work in has been obliterated and been told most companies are working on recruiting part time staff only for the foreseeable. 20 years building a career that isn’t there anymore. Worst financial position since my 20’s and I’m now in my 40’s.

I don't think I know anyone who's okay, but a lot who are exhausted, fed up, or just about holding off a breakdown. Makes it even harder to seek support somehow - I don't want to be someone's final straw.

I run a small business, that's hanging on by the fingernails. I've had 2 staff in the office this week who just aren't coping. And these are people we've known and relied on for years, decades in one case. It's not their "normal" behaviour in any way shape or form. I had to be the strong supportive person but I'm not sure that I'm feeling much better than they do to be totally honest.

It's horrible to see how much these extended lockdowns are impacting people.

I always seem to have work stress which impacts on all other aspects of life, particularly sleep leaving me feeling exhausted on easily overwhelmed. I have tried switching from a stressful career to one which should, in theory be a lot less stressful but ends up being stressful in different ways.

I also feel like the one thing that relaxed me and I am still able to enjoy- walking my two lovely dogs has now been turned into an anxiety riddled venture because dogs are being snatched. There have been a few in our local area and it's just unbelievable how people can be so cruel in the midst of a pandemic.

I think wherever you were, lockdown has removed all sources of support, value, enjoyment and even for some, the basics needed for survival. Many of us will be at the last part in six months.

My current thing is I am so angry, I don't know where to put it all.

Can I urge those of you feeling this way to write to all relevant politicians. I'm sorry if, like me, you've done it 100 times. But it is really important to keep on.

I don’t feel like this and am mostly happy - I don’t feel anything above a normal level of stress. I don’t know why as I have a lot on my plate and am juggling a lot of stressful situations at once right now.

However my husband is permanently stressed and I’ve definitely suspected on the verge of a breakdown more than once in the last 5 years. Most of my friends and a lot of my family also fit this description too.

Genuinely don’t know what it is that separates the two groups but I’d definitely agree it’s becoming the new norm. It’s scary and worrying in equal measures.

just to add I do wonder if there’s a correlation between this and sleep. I sleep so well, my husband does not. I think this could definitely be a contributing factor.

My unemployment status is making me feel sick with anxiety. Being in my fifties as well means it will be extra tough. Worried about family members who have also been made redundant as well as their mental states. Missing my DP terribly and missing the active social life we had pre covid.
Waking up each morning is crap. Nothing to do but job search and loiter round the house. Not a life at all, it's just awful.

It's hard. The responsibilities aren't going away, but pretty much all of the privileges are gone. Usually, I'm pretty pro-active about developing ideas, getting off my backside and trying to do things - whether that's work, family, travel. Right now, I feel like I can't be bothered to do more than the bare minimum - no spark, no creativity, no genuine will to move a business idea forward (the idea isn't bad, I'm just struggling to care). It's horrible. I don't recognise myself.

But I can see some light at the end of the tunnel. Once the 'stay local' restriction is lifted, I'll be able to return to the long-distance walking project I started last summer: we'll also have better weather, so I'm looking forward to that. I'm hopeful that little things like Parkrun are now talking about a concrete date to return, which will help me a lot in the latter half of the year. Throw in some spectator sport in summer / autumn, and I'm lucky enough to have a social life back. And, work wise, if foreign travel starts to open up I can look forward, potentially, to some big, lucrative trips in a bit less than a year's time. This is what is (just about) keeping me going, and helping me to help my family stay afloat.

Until those hopes start coming to fruition, though, I'm relying on my own sheer bloody-mindedness and the endless promptings of a 4yo to keep me going.