If a parent doesn't pay for his children one month is he allowed to see them?

[leigh1996]

Citizens advice is really busy so I'm waiting 7 days on a call back

If he doesn't pay this month is he able to see them. I know parental rights you need to do your responsibilities too.

OP people are trying to help. Im jot sure why you keep avoiding answering why yoi haven't gone to CMS. They can arrange to take payments directly from his salary so he won't have the chance to spend it on something else first.

The sooner you put in a CMS claim the better.

I never got consistent maintenance from ds1s dad, he was crap for that, but on the positive side, he was always happy to have ds and we tried to keep the whole thing drama free for ds sake.

As the others said, maintenance payments and contact are separate.

You don't have to allow contact at your house btw. Even though he's not paying you, I would allow contact as presumably he's travelling to your house so it doesn't cost you to get the m to him.

Open a CMS case so you can rely on regular maintenance in future. It may take time to set up but it's one less worry.

I can’t be the only one who thinks a man with enough money to pay the bills and eat who watches his children go without is a terrible dad. Not seeing a man like that can’t be too bad for a child’s development.

@PandaFluff yeah I won't in the future but I had no choice he had "no money"

Happycat1212
This is so strange, I’ve never relied on maintenance, I get £7 a week for 4 children. I don’t even consider it as anything, stop relying on maintenance so much, don’t you get child benefit? Tax credits? Your children should still be getting fed with or without it.

Good for you. Yup- let's just not make non-resident payments at all financially liable for their offspring. What a ridiculous thing to suggest

Agree. NRP should be financially supporting the children they helped to bring into the world. Is it worth relying on child support? Unfortunately not because too many NRP (mostly men in my experience) are selfish, financially abusive cunts. But I will keep on claiming what my children are entitled to even though my ex is apparently determined to pay as little as he possibly can because well, see above about the financially abusive cunt part.

[quote leigh1996]@VanGoghsDog he never took them for lunch etc. It was me who stocked up his house with food from my own because he "had no money" yet he spilled up and told me what he really makes. All goes on himself.

He blows all his wage on himself then cries to me and gives well under what he should or nothing at all for this month so I'm panicking for next weeks food gas etc all because he had 2/3 for 2 nights whilst returning them during the day.

I'm currently on hold to make sure it's backdated from today.

I was never using them as a weapon I was taking the advice a Hv I really like gave me but I'm seeing now it was her own views. We'd chat loads so that makes sense

Thanks for all the help in the right direction! X [/quote]
How are visits happening now? Stop enabling him by having him in your house and feeding him!

I've gotten it sorted phone child maintenance payment

He's got once chance to do the form we print it out and sign it it's informal but if he fails then I'll be back on the phone.

The women on the phone is hopefully he will pay. I'm not but if he doesn't I'll phone back and have him pay.

Hopefully the law changes about the parent not in full custody being a decent person or is charged by social work or police etc.

Legally speaking, if it's an informal arrangement, he doesn't have to pay and you don't have to let him see them.

Morally speaking, it's unethical to link paying with access.

The only way to enforce payment is through the CMS or sometimes a court and the only way to enforce access is through the courts.

The HV is wrong and has no business giving you advice on child contact arrangements and finances.

He’s never going to be reliable in contributing to his kids. Are you claiming every you’re entitled to, can you cut back on anything, get a job? It must be really difficult for you.

yeah I won't in the future but I had no choice he had "no money"

you have no money and he still says no. this is a choice.

I'm glad you called them op.

He didn't want to see them to start- he is a shit

He gets you to stock his cupboards in order to feed them when he has contact- he is a shit

He dosnt pay full maintenance despite you struggling- he is a shit.

Take no more excuses.
He has zero rights to be in your home.
You go straight back to child maintenance the second he defaults, every single time.

If he refuses to feed them himself you report him to children's services, record it and go to court.

He sounds like a waste of space, I feel sorry for the kids with him as a role model.

Your doing everything you can despite how hard its been, your a good mother and the kids will have comfort knowing your there for them.

Hopefully the law changes about the parent not in full custody being a decent person or is charged by social work or police

I’m not really sure what you mean op. If someone who legit owes child maintenance doesn’t pay they take it directly from their bank account or wage, and if that fails they move to enforcement action. It is not linked to child access cor the very obvious reason that would be further penalising the kids and children are not weapons.

Don’t trash all men because you chose a shit one to be the father of your kids.

Fucking hell have a heart will you. Such a cruel thing to say to the op. Really no need for that

Are you making sure you are claiming for everything you are entitled to?
Using CMS to get regular payments
Ensuring child benefit is going to you
Any state benefits you are entitled to
Claiming free school meals for children in school

Also, if you speak with your children’s school about a non-paying parent, they may be able to help with uniform and items needed for school.

If you are on local Facebook groups, people may be gifting clothes and shoes children have outgrown. They certainly are where I live and I have just passed on school PE kit to other parents that was hardly used due to schools being closed.

But the op is complaining saying she can’t afford to feed her kids unless she gets maintenance so where is her money for the kids going?! Seems like she’s just relying on it from the dad? She should still be able to feed her kids without maintenance otherwise she’s not paying for them either but complaining that he isn’t. Yes she should get maintenance but her kids shouldn’t be going hungry without it.

Hopefully the law changes about the parent not in full custody being a decent person or is charged by social work or police etc.

There would need to be evidence that he is emotionally, practically or financially neglecting them when they are in his care, for SS or police to take that seriously. Sadly what constitutes being a "decent person" the rest of the time is so subjective that it's not something that would be accounted for - he only needs to be decent and meeting their needs when they are in his direct care, to be allowed to continue to see them.

@emilyfrost

But lesson learned men can watch their kids have nothing and have everything themselves.

Nope. It’s not a male/female thing, it’s resident/non-resident parent thing.

Don’t trash all men because you chose a shit one to be the father of your kids.

Except it's most often women who are the RPs and men who don't pay for their kids.

I think not financially contributing for the welfare of your own children should be viewed by society in the same way that drink drivers are viewed.

@Wingedharpy

I think not financially contributing for the welfare of your own children should be viewed by society in the same way that drink drivers are viewed.

I think it is, people think it’s scum bag of the century.

What an odd thread. I'm sure CAB have better things to advise on right now.

Yes he still sees them, and there is not a limit limit of if he hasn’t paid for xx months he doesn’t get to see them

You don’t use kids as bargaining tools , there is a process to follow if he is not paying. Formalise the arrangement via cms.

The law really needs to change on this. 4 billion is owed in unpaid child support, 4 BILLION. Men are neglecting their children and it’s about fucking time it was taken seriously. It’s outrageous that it’s considered socially acceptable to not provide for your own children.

Contact is primarily for the children’s benefit so YABU

Of course he should pay though, he sounds like a dick. But go to CMS!