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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there’s too much sex on tv/netflix

349 replies

WiganNorthWest · 23/03/2021 23:10

Shows that I would otherwise enjoy watching with my teenagers/other family always seem to have graphic and gratuitous very long sex scenes. I don’t think they add anything to the plot and ruin our experience of watching as a family (makes me and my teenagers uncomfortable-and I think we are fairly close/informal usually).
I’m thinking of game of thrones, Bridgerton, normal people and outlander which show a lot of sex and a lot of it is disturbing/rape. Does anyone actually enjoy watching these scenes/think they enhance shows? I wish there were ‘clean’ rated 12 versions of these shows on Netflix and you could chose which one to watch. I did enjoy sex education, and think this was done a bit more intelligently/sex scenes weren’t just there for the sake of it/a lazy way to attract viewers but were necessary for the plot.
AIBU/ a prude?

OP posts:
NiceGerbil · 25/03/2021 22:45

Columbo!

WisnaeMe · 25/03/2021 22:46

loooove Columbo 🎉

MiddlesexGirl · 25/03/2021 22:47

Can we get rid of the shows that are full of violence and swearing first?

NiceGerbil · 25/03/2021 22:49

No sorry.

Gratuitous sexual violence needs to be the first to go.

MiddlesexGirl · 25/03/2021 22:50

TV for the whole family went into decline when we started being able to stream to our own devices. Nothing to do with sex on TV.

SmokedDuck · 25/03/2021 22:57

Things we've watched recently as a family that went over well:

Rosemary and Thyme
In the Long Run
Belgravia
Law and Order
North of 60 (older Canadian series)
The Royal (even the little kids liked this, surprisingly)
Island at War
Detectorists
Life on Mars

LookAChicken · 25/03/2021 23:02

Actually the detectorists might be a good call, I caught a single episode and liked it.

amusedbush · 25/03/2021 23:25

This thread is making me feel so much better about my aversion to gratuitous sex scenes on TV. I hate it, I feel uncomfortable watching it and, as pp have said, it rarely adds anything to the story. The implication of sex would be enough.

DH isn't bothered by it and often huffs and tells me to "grow up" if I react negatively to sex scenes but I'm truly not a prude, I just don't need to see a man jackhammering while the woman moans in ecstasy. The sex scenes are always really long as well - yawn.

felineflutter · 25/03/2021 23:29

I suddenly realised one day that a lot of the BBC and ITV 9pm dramas were about murder, often young women, often naked. Once I'd noticed it, I couldn't not see it, and thought why is this regular mainstream entertainment?!

Yes I have noticed and unusual amount of these dramas in general. I honestly cannot watch them.

felineflutter · 25/03/2021 23:32

Surely it's natural for children to feel uncomfy watching on screen shagging/ nudity with their parents?

I feel uncomfy watching it with DH tbh. It now means that we don't watch anything together. As it either contains shocking scenes of violence or prolonged sexual content.

Jente · 26/03/2021 00:36

I agree with you OP, particularly when it comes to all the sexual abuse of women on TV. It's horrible and unnecessary.

FrustratedTeddyLamp · 26/03/2021 02:11

FFS tired of everything having to be all " will anybody think of the children" there's less family programmes and more graphic programmes and far too many than anyone person can watch in their lifetime. If you watch something that has sex in the source material if based on books or is generally adult themed then you go in knowing its a possibility. I very much doubt people are using outlander or GOT or Bridgerton to masturbate to acting like it's the same as going on pornhub.

If you choose not to watch stuff with sex or nudity fine but I don't see why that decision be forced on creators or other viewers.

WisnaeMe · 26/03/2021 03:05

In answer to your original question, YES 🌺

jessstan2 · 26/03/2021 08:43

After being engrossed in Mumsnet during the night, guess what I watched? Silent witness - in which a gorgeous lookng policeman sexually abuses a 17 year old girl.

I have noticed in recent years that sexual predators/murderers in TV dramas have become more handsome/attractive. There is something seriously skewed about that. Jamie Dorman in 'The Fall' for example, James Norton in 'Happy Valley', to name but two. Are we being brainwashed in some way I wonder.

Peanutbutterandbananatoastie · 26/03/2021 08:57

@jessstan2

After being engrossed in Mumsnet during the night, guess what I watched? Silent witness - in which a gorgeous lookng policeman sexually abuses a 17 year old girl.

I have noticed in recent years that sexual predators/murderers in TV dramas have become more handsome/attractive. There is something seriously skewed about that. Jamie Dorman in 'The Fall' for example, James Norton in 'Happy Valley', to name but two. Are we being brainwashed in some way I wonder.

Isn’t that a good thing though? I served on 2 juries in child abuse cases, looking like a pervert* definitely made a big difference in the outcome of those cases.

*obviously I know that you can’t tell who is a pervert by looking, but the men people on the jury did not agree with me.

User133847 · 26/03/2021 19:41

All these serial killers or violent criminals/predators are being made good looking to appeal to women. It's producers trying to cash in on female erotica.

NiceGerbil · 26/03/2021 19:48

Most women do not find it erotic to see men enact sexual violence against women on the telly.

Additionally I had it pointed out to me that when rape is depicted if it's 'through the eyes' it's invariably through the eyes of the man looking down on the crying struggling screaming woman's face. Not the woman's view looking up at the face of the man raping her.

If the idea is that women find watching women be sexually violated by men on screen erotic, then surely the most common view would be of the face of the (handsome) man doing the raping.

NiceGerbil · 26/03/2021 19:50

The good looking/ looking like a pervert comments in relation to real life sex offenders is utterly bizarre!

The suggestion that men on juries will judge guilt or innocence based in part on what the man looks like is extremely worrying.

LookAChicken · 26/03/2021 20:22

I'm sure those of you with teens have seen it but The Martian with Matt Damon was well received here and is on Netflix. It's a 12!

jessstan2 · 27/03/2021 08:28

@User133847

All these serial killers or violent criminals/predators are being made good looking to appeal to women. It's producers trying to cash in on female erotica.
I wouldn't go that far.
Peanutbutterandbananatoastie · 27/03/2021 08:47

@NiceGerbil

The good looking/ looking like a pervert comments in relation to real life sex offenders is utterly bizarre!

The suggestion that men on juries will judge guilt or innocence based in part on what the man looks like is extremely worrying.

That was not a suggestion, that was my experience, and yes it was frightening that people held these opinions. Women on the jury also said things like “she’s after money”, why do think so many cases go the way they go?

I’m sorry it’s frightening and crap but it’s the truth.

BenoneBeauty · 27/03/2021 09:25

I completely agree Op.

BLToutanowhere · 27/03/2021 09:32

It seems today, that all you see, is violence in movies and sex on TV
But where are those good old-fashioned values on which we used to rely?

GoLightlyontheEarth · 27/03/2021 12:21

What is the obsession with serial killers too?

NiceGerbil · 27/03/2021 14:47

Peanut social attitudes need to change.

With the good looking thing and the men on the jury. Maybe they think well it wouldn't be bad having sex with him most women would fancy him. They can't see it for what it is.