AIBU?
To think there’s too much sex on tv/netflix
WiganNorthWest · 23/03/2021 23:10
Shows that I would otherwise enjoy watching with my teenagers/other family always seem to have graphic and gratuitous very long sex scenes. I don’t think they add anything to the plot and ruin our experience of watching as a family (makes me and my teenagers uncomfortable-and I think we are fairly close/informal usually).
I’m thinking of game of thrones, Bridgerton, normal people and outlander which show a lot of sex and a lot of it is disturbing/rape. Does anyone actually enjoy watching these scenes/think they enhance shows? I wish there were ‘clean’ rated 12 versions of these shows on Netflix and you could chose which one to watch. I did enjoy sex education, and think this was done a bit more intelligently/sex scenes weren’t just there for the sake of it/a lazy way to attract viewers but were necessary for the plot.
AIBU/ a prude?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
WiganNorthWest · 23/03/2021 23:20
We do tend to watch other stuff but i find it limits what we can watch as a family which is a bit sad (not a massive deal). Bridgerton, for example, I would have liked to watch with my daughters (we all watched it separately and enjoyed but when I suggested watching it together they said that would be mortifying). It would have been lovely to watch together if they had toned down the sex scenes-surely a few seconds here and there in a well written show is enough?
WiganNorthWest · 23/03/2021 23:28
If you want to watch people having sex, just watch porn imo! I imagine a lot of actors find it uncomfortable too/may feel pressured to take good parts with more nudity than they’d be comfortable with their family seeing. Feel a bit bad for the actors parents/grandparents watching!
NiceGerbil · 23/03/2021 23:42
I have always hated sexual violence against women on the screen, and also the way that women and girls on screen are so often in situations where there is an underlying threat of sexual violence.
I hate the fact that over the years it's just become something that happens all over the place.
I hate the fact (and I first noticed this with CSI so 20 years ago or something!) that sexual violence is often a way to get women's clothes off/ get some sex on the screen. I have an idea that in USA output they seem to be ok with violence, and not ok with sex. What do you do if you want some female flesh and sexualm content. Sexual assault!
The point it really hit home was when there was a woman's topless (I think) top half and a male hand was gently stroking her under rivulets of water running over her. The camera really lingered lovingly. Pulled back. She was on the fucking slab! WTAF?!
anyway rambling.
Oh and something else someone pointed out is that when a perspective of a rape is shot it's always from the pov of the rapist looking at the victim. That is just. Grim when you think about it.
nosyupnorth · 24/03/2021 00:33
YABU - There are loads of shows out there without sex - in fact, I'd hazard a guess that the majority of shows don't have sex on account of watershed/age ratings limiting viewers ect.
2/4 shows you've mentioned are based on romance novels so of course they're going to want to include the sexy stuff, it's part of the narrative - and a completely different viewing experience from porn since there is plot/characters/romantic relationships not just random people having sex for no reason, what a ridiculous false equivalence
it's fine if you don't want to watch sexual content, but sex is a part of life and the media shouldn't shy away from depicting that, nor does every piece of media need to be family friendly
WisnaeMe · 24/03/2021 00:44
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
WisnaeMe · 24/03/2021 00:56
@nosyupnorth
Sorry, I'll ask Mumsnet to remove my offensive comments
I apologise
MrsGogolsGumbo · 24/03/2021 00:58
I actually started checking IMDB parental guidance section because the amount of rape and violence against W&G is rife! I find it really disturbing and don't like to watch stuff like that.
Unfortunately it does really limit the amount of stuff I can watch as sexual violence is really shown a lot in telly and film.
I tend to think of myself as pretty open minded and sexually liberated but even I find the consensual sex being chucked in frequently and for no good plot reasoning. It does strike me as a lazy way to get viewers. It's pretty full on these days too, the more flesh on show, the more hardcore or longer the sex scenes, the better as far as the makers are concerned.
NiceGerbil · 24/03/2021 00:58
'prudishness' 
Loads of people feel uncomfy watching sex scenes with their parents/ children. They always have. You think that's unusually repressed behaviour?
My 11 yo covers her eyes at snogging. I will tell her she's a prude 
You also seem to have missed the point I made that on USA TV sex seems to be a no-no, violence is fine, so the workaround to get females in a state of undress and some sex content, they show sexual violence.
Now THAT is a result of real prudery.
MrsGogolsGumbo · 24/03/2021 01:00
@nosyupnorth
Maybe it's not because we find sex inherently bad (I actually quite enjoy it thanks), maybe it's more because there is a lot a lot of sexual violence being shown in film and television and we are continuing the discussion started by the OP.
jessstan2 · 24/03/2021 01:06
I don't mind sex scenes as long as they are not crude, and they are romantic. I've never seen Game of Thrones but I enjoyed Bridgerton and thought the sex in that was passionate and loving, not gratuitous. It was pretty full on though.
To be honest, if there is no romance in a programme I find it tedious.
Gratuitous violence I cannot bear to watch.
However, none of us has to watch anything we don't like.
Leobynature · 24/03/2021 01:09
I don’t think OP is being prudish at all, I don’t need or want to see people having sex on screen in my living room. I know people have sex, the producers just need to imply that they had it. Most of the time it’s not realistic, the actors look uncomfortable and it’s cringe. It adds nothing to the plot.
I am not sure why as a society we want to limit children’s exposure to porn but we are ok it being so readily available on subscription channels, in my opinion they often both depict women in the same light.
I also find it quite traumatic how violent some rape scenes are, i often wonder what is the need for such graphic scenes?
WiganNorthWest · 24/03/2021 01:27
I do think it would be great if netflix etc could do 2 cuts of shows-one rated 12 and one 18(obviously this won’t happen). I’m genuinely curious about what enjoyment people get from these sex scenes-I find them boring at best and sometimes disturbing (rape scenes), I don’t think they are artistic/plot enhancing/they’re not a turn on for me and I don’t think they’re shocking or intriguing or making a big statement now as they are everywhere. Just seems like a lot to ask of the actors for no reason. And I find it’s the majority of popular shows that my teenagers are interested in watching. I don’t have a problem with them watching sex scenes per se, but I don’t like that it makes it awkward for us to watch a lot of shows together. So they watch them alone on their phones when we could be spending time together. And we also like to watch Netflix alongside my elderly mum (who’s spent lockdown alone) and struggle to find good shows that are for adults that don’t have cringe worthy content.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.