To think there’s too much sex on tv/netflix

[WiganNorthWest]

Shows that I would otherwise enjoy watching with my teenagers/other family always seem to have graphic and gratuitous very long sex scenes. I don’t think they add anything to the plot and ruin our experience of watching as a family (makes me and my teenagers uncomfortable-and I think we are fairly close/informal usually).
I’m thinking of game of thrones, Bridgerton, normal people and outlander which show a lot of sex and a lot of it is disturbing/rape. Does anyone actually enjoy watching these scenes/think they enhance shows? I wish there were ‘clean’ rated 12 versions of these shows on Netflix and you could chose which one to watch. I did enjoy sex education, and think this was done a bit more intelligently/sex scenes weren’t just there for the sake of it/a lazy way to attract viewers but were necessary for the plot.
AIBU/ a prude?

[TartanCurtains]

I mainly watch funny and light-hearted shows, with some slightly heavier stuff for good measure. I download things to watch on the train and have recently realised everything has so much sex in it that anyone watching over my shoulder might inadvertently get the impression I spend my commute watching porn

[makesIlaugh]

Not exactly the same but I'm reading J D Robb books - written by a woman - and I am getting tired of the fact that the main character and her husband have sex about every bloody half an hour. Real people don't use sex to end an argument, wake up, fall asleep, before food, during food, after food, to relax, all on the same day! It's tedious and lazy. We get they are really "into" each other, but the book would be half the length with all the sex! I must be getting old!

[User133847]

Its ridiculous. If I wanted to watch porn I would watch porn. Why can't they just show kissing in bed or whatever. They don't need to simulate the whole thing.

[EarringsandLipstick]

I disagree about Outlander - I think the sex scenes were necessary for the plot, and Claire & Jamie's relationship.

Can't comment on GoT or Bridgerton but Normal People? The sex scenes were beautifully & honestly done, and again, intrinsic to the plot. In terms of the actors, an intimacy co-ordinator was used, and both actors have spoken about how important that was and freed them up to focus on the acting, rather than considering it a 'sex scene'.

I don't really get it re teenagers. Only one of my kids is a teen, we do watch some programmes with sex scenes together, we're pretty relaxed about it, might laugh or skip if I consider it a bit explicit. It's no big deal.

[WhispersOfWickedness]

I'm totally with you OP, it's just so bloody boring! Just hint that's it's happening and move on with the storyline ffs! Also, I'm not a prude

[User133847]

@nosyupnorth

YABU - There are loads of shows out there without sex - in fact, I'd hazard a guess that the majority of shows don't have sex on account of watershed/age ratings limiting viewers ect.

2/4 shows you've mentioned are based on romance novels so of course they're going to want to include the sexy stuff, it's part of the narrative - and a completely different viewing experience from porn since there is plot/characters/romantic relationships not just random people having sex for no reason, what a ridiculous false equivalence

it's fine if you don't want to watch sexual content, but sex is a part of life and the media shouldn't shy away from depicting that, nor does every piece of media need to be family friendly

Story porn is still porn.

[PurpleFlower1983]

I haven’t watched Bridgeton yet but my friend said skip the first few episodes as it only gets good when the shagging starts...

[EarringsandLipstick]

@User133847

Its ridiculous. If I wanted to watch porn I would watch porn. Why can't they just show kissing in bed or whatever. They don't need to simulate the whole thing.

This is a ridiculous post! It's not sex for titillation purposes (well, in a good quality show it's not anyway); it's not comparable to porn (grim) it's to advance the storyline. I hate the lack of honesty where a few demure kisses is supposed to signal 'and then they have sex'.

It's about the quality of the programme - if sex scenes feel jarring, then other aspects will too. The dialogue or settings will feel inauthentic. That's the way to critique a show, not this hand-wringing about sex scenes per se.

[User133847]

@Pinksatin

I watched normal people and I too thought there was way to much sex. It wasn’t necessary and we didn’t need to see them named all the time!

Normal people is porn tv.

[PurpleFlower1983]

Normal People is about coming of age and sexual discovery so I doubt that would be as impactful without the sex. The book mostly skips to the sex scenes, I was surprised they were at it within a few pages...

Game of Thrones is full of sex in the first few series but I doubt you’d get a 12 version of that regardless.

[CakesOfVersailles]

OP your idea of streaming services having two cuts of tv shows would be great. A lot of movies used to be altered for television (some infamously poorly). Most of the time sex scenes add very little to the plot so could just be cut out to lower the rating.

[EarringsandLipstick]

Story porn is still porn.

Nonsense. Sex is part of life. Authentic film making will include it. How they do so relates to the quality of the show.

Absolutely there are shows with ridiculous or gratuitous sex scenes - and they'll be poorly made, with inauthentic storylines.
It's not about 'brilliant shows with too much porn-like sex'.

[User133847]

@earringsandlipstick Watching people have full on sex on TV shows is a new phenomenon. How did shows survive before?

Stick on a porno on ffs and let the rest of us watch shows without all this rubbish.

[EarringsandLipstick]

Normal people is porn tv.

@User133847

I love the way you keep making blanket statements with no justification or explanation. 🙄

You sound obsessed with any sex equalling 'porn' to you.

Normal people is absolutely NOT porn-style TV.

You don't have to like it, but it's beautifully made, intelligent TV, where sex plays a big part.

[Coffeeandcocopops]

I’ve been watching a lot of series with my teenage boys. I don’t mind a consensual sex scene of normal length and leaving a lot to the imagination. But no quite often we get detailed images of the women’s breasts, her body, no foreplay at all and often scenes that give the impression to inexperienced teens of anal sex when infact it’s just a different position. It’s intentional.

I do worry as a lot of the sex scenes are not teaching young people about sex between two consenting adults who want to please each other. It’s one sided towards the male.

[Cheesypea]

Couldn't get on with Game of Thrones, too much gratuitous sex and violence. I hate the amount of rape scenes their are on film and tv, find them voierestic. Remember when pulp fiction came out the fuss about the Male rape scene, remember thinking I see that every time I turn on the tele

[EarringsandLipstick]

[quote User133847]@earringsandlipstick Watching people have full on sex on TV shows is a new phenomenon. How did shows survive before?

Stick on a porno on ffs and let the rest of us watch shows without all this rubbish.[/quote]
They don't have full-on sex!

I refer you to my previous posts - it depends how relevant sex is to the story. Sex is part of life. A well made show aims for authenticity.

Films made decades ago show completely inauthentic kissing scenes, where a simpering heroine gazes up at the leading man, who then manfully crushes her, in totally unbelievable type of embrace. Who wants that?

[CoalCraft]

YANBU. I'm no prude and sex scenes don't make me uncomfortable, but they're so boring and I hate the way the pacing of a show often grinds to a halt just so we can watch two people... Grinding.

I get it. They had sex. I have sex too and so do lots of other people, it's not interesting, fade to black so we can get back to the story.

Often I think they're just there to pad runtime and mask the fact that there isn't actually enough substance to the show to justify it's time slot.

[Coffeeandcocopops]

Normal People was ridiculous. I ended up fast forwarding a lot of the sex in the later episodes as it just got boring. I found it a bit creepy too watching two young people “coming of age” having sex. I did not watch it with my teenage boys - I doubt they would have wanted to watch it with their mum. It was ‘nice’ / kind consensual sex so I’m ok with that.

[EarringsandLipstick]

@Coffeeandcocopops

I’ve been watching a lot of series with my teenage boys. I don’t mind a consensual sex scene of normal length and leaving a lot to the imagination. But no quite often we get detailed images of the women’s breasts, her body, no foreplay at all and often scenes that give the impression to inexperienced teens of anal sex when infact it’s just a different position. It’s intentional.

I do worry as a lot of the sex scenes are not teaching young people about sex between two consenting adults who want to please each other. It’s one sided towards the male.

That's a good point.

The shows I'm watching don't do this & I agree, if they did, it would question the authenticity of the show for me, and I'd stop watching.

I'm watching The Bold Type on Netflix at the moment. It's pretty light stuff but has some interesting plot lines & can be witty. Central characters all female. There's a lot of sex, and as it's American, not a hint of boob. I wouldn't say the sex scenes are altogether realistic but are not done with the male gaze in mind & are usually part of the plot (not gratuitous).

[EarringsandLipstick]

@Coffeeandcocopops

Did you think so re Normal People? I loved it. Much more so than the book (characters were made much more likeable).

I didn't at all like the SM scenes, bondage etc. But I recognised it was part of the plot.

I thought the depiction of sex was at once beautiful & realistic, including some of the hard-to-watch scenes (Jamie & Marianne) as I recognised it was relevant to the story.

But I guess we're all different! Something like GoT wouldn't interest me, at all. The genre, period, violence. Have never watched it.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Yanbu. What annoys me more than anything else is that production companies will take something that already has some sexual stuff in it (eg the GoT books) and decide it needs a) more b) scenes of a more violent or gratuitous sexual nature c) extra nudity & promiscuity randomly inserted

They rarely add romantic sexual scenes but will take a scene in a tavern and move it to a brothel, or depict someone receiving a random blow job during a scene.

I'm fine with a bit of a romp and actually thought bridgerton was fine but with GoT it felt like a 14 year old boys fantasy - trying to get as many tits on show as possible.

[THisbackwithavengeance]

Mary Whitehouse will be spinning in her grave, that's for sure.

I liked Bridgerton etc but when yet another sex scene comes on, you just think seriously? Again? Boring now.

[LegAndSparkle]

Lots of good options for non sex TV - Breaking bad, the wire, mad men.

Normal people - was relevant to the plot.

Game of thrones was hardly great TV.

And bridgerton seemed to been designed by an algorithm aimed at morons.

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

@TrickorTreacle

I voted YABU because there are other avenues to watch film and TV.

Personally, I don't own a TV. I don't have Netflix etc.

First world problems.

YABU.

So why comment when the OP was specifically about TV and Netflix fgs.

Yanbu OP. At all. We know when sex is going to occur. They can intimate it quite easily without seeing the grunting and the fake sex faces. Depicting rape and violence can also be intimated without actually seeing the act.

I hate it. It is unnecessary and does spoil some programmes.