To think there’s too much sex on tv/netflix

[WiganNorthWest]

Shows that I would otherwise enjoy watching with my teenagers/other family always seem to have graphic and gratuitous very long sex scenes. I don’t think they add anything to the plot and ruin our experience of watching as a family (makes me and my teenagers uncomfortable-and I think we are fairly close/informal usually).
I’m thinking of game of thrones, Bridgerton, normal people and outlander which show a lot of sex and a lot of it is disturbing/rape. Does anyone actually enjoy watching these scenes/think they enhance shows? I wish there were ‘clean’ rated 12 versions of these shows on Netflix and you could chose which one to watch. I did enjoy sex education, and think this was done a bit more intelligently/sex scenes weren’t just there for the sake of it/a lazy way to attract viewers but were necessary for the plot.
AIBU/ a prude?

[Sparklingbrook]

I really enjoyed Normal People, people saying it is like porn-what sort of porn are you watching?

The sex scenes were very well done (they had an intimacy coordinator and used lots of camera tricks). I think some of them went on a bit too long though and I wouldn't really want to watch with my DSs.

[sashagabadon]

It is also v annoying when ratings change in one show! So one week it’s a 12, next episode is a 15. Bridgerton was v guilty of this. Whole series should be the highest rating, not switching to a lower one when suits causing confusion

[LegAndSparkle]

GoT it felt like a 14 year old boys fantasy

Because that's what it was. There's plenty of shows that aren't that if you want something else. Not everything is made for you specifically.

[awesomekillick]

It's lazy and an "appeal to the masses" film making. Quite pitiful really that even with a great story to tell - outlander, GOT, for eg - directors feel the need to sex things up.

If I was an actor I'd be appalled and miserable at the amount of women's roles that involve sex.

The audience knows new lovers have a lot of sex, or, two people start passionately kissing might end up in bed, we can fill in those bits perfectly well using that quaint old thing, our imagination.

[Inanun2]

@Coffeeandcocopops

I’ve been watching a lot of series with my teenage boys. I don’t mind a consensual sex scene of normal length and leaving a lot to the imagination. But no quite often we get detailed images of the women’s breasts, her body, no foreplay at all and often scenes that give the impression to inexperienced teens of anal sex when infact it’s just a different position. It’s intentional.

I do worry as a lot of the sex scenes are not teaching young people about sex between two consenting adults who want to please each other. It’s one sided towards the male.

That’s exactly it.
I have two daughters and hate to see this, it’s not porn but even from normal TV they are getting a distorted view of sex and what’s expected of them and what men will expect.
My friends son had an open conversation with her recently and still young

[DoubleTweenQueen]

Yanbu. I have avoided lots of dramas because of it, and particularly period dramas that I would have liked to watch with my young teens. Gratuitous titillation to get ratings. Not impressed

[Biscuitsanddoombar]

@THisbackwithavengeance

Mary Whitehouse will be spinning in her grave, that's for sure.

I liked Bridgerton etc but when yet another sex scene comes on, you just think seriously? Again? Boring now.

Yep was exactly the same with Bridgerton too. Yes they’re hot and they have sex, hot duke gives as much as he receives, yes yes we got that after the first 3 times, now I’m just bored with it

Kieron hodgson bad tv impressions had it pretty much nailed 😆

[sashagabadon]

@CakesOfVersailles

OP your idea of streaming services having two cuts of tv shows would be great. A lot of movies used to be altered for television (some infamously poorly). Most of the time sex scenes add very little to the plot so could just be cut out to lower the rating.

That is a good idea. Come to think of it, I’m a celeb does this well. They have a 6pm version my son could watch so he can join in and knew who everyone was etc but it was a “cleaner” version. My daughter and I could watch the later show. Obs different scenario to game of thrones but idea is the same

[EarringsandLipstick]

even from normal TV they are getting a distorted view of sex and what’s expected of them and what men will expect.
*My friends son had an open conversation with her recently and still young

[Ivebeeninlockdowntoolong]

I agree OP. I think sex scenes are unnecessary and gratuitous when directors could hint/imply these instead. If I want to watch sex on screen I'd rather view porn as it's specifically produced for this purpose.

What disturbs me more is the nature of the sex portrayed. Typical sex = get to fucking straight away, no foreplay, and the woman somehow comes just like that. It's giving a bad message that women don't need any caring or loving before the act and they can just be fucked liked machines. No wonder some men believe that a wham bam, thank you ma'am approach to sex is all that's needed.

[EarringsandLipstick]

If I want to watch sex on screen I'd rather view porn as it's specifically produced for this purpose

This point has been made a few times now. I just don't get it.

I've never watched porn & don't want to.

But to me, sex as part of a well-made, thoughtful show, serves a purpose. If the show is crap, rendering the sex gratuitous, I won't watch it. The decision-making factor is the show, not the sex.

I can't see the logic of 'no sex on TV, just watch porn'. There's just no comparison.

I don't watch porn, but I'm fairly sure the sex on the shows I watch, is nothing akin to porn sex.

[reluctantbrit]

Have you read the Outlander books? The rape is part of the storyline and cutting it out would really threw the story away.

The scenes are hardly graphic, I mean you often see more topless women on a beach in Summer than what you saw in Bridgerton. I often think about how the actors must feel, naked, in full view of a whole film set crew (even if they cut them down to the bare minimum). That alone often puts me into a different mood than thinking about how explicit the scenes are.

You have series which go over the top, The Tudors and Reign are basically sex with some weird storyline not a good story with some sex scenes.

If I want to see tame crime dramas I watch Miss Marple or similar.

[VinterKvinna]

@nosyupnorth

oh and very saddening that so many people here have taken the OPs prudishness about sex in general on TV and immediately started talking about violence & abuse as if sex is inherently bad

Op isn't prudish, I understand what s/he is saying.

I think there is too much sex, it's not needed, it doesn't add to the story.

[MiaMarshmallows]

Yes, was getting a bit fed up watching Daphne getting off every couple of minutes on Bridgerton (or so it seemed). Way overboard.

[greengrey]

I don't mind it but I do think that a fade to black can be much more powerful... and safer to watch with kids!

[User133847]

Lots of good options for non sex TV - Breaking bad, the wire, mad men.

The odd sex scene (which you do still get in those shows) I don't mind.

If it's every episode then there's just no need for it.

[Inanun2]

@EarringsandLipstick

I agree I can not imagine having that conversation either but I guess it’s good they are so open. I suspect that he was just watching normal TV sex but as a previous poster described:

“Scenes are often no foreplay at all and often scenes that give the impression to inexperienced teens of anal sex when infact it’s just a different position.”

[User133847]

@awesomekillick

It's lazy and an "appeal to the masses" film making. Quite pitiful really that even with a great story to tell - outlander, GOT, for eg - directors feel the need to sex things up.

If I was an actor I'd be appalled and miserable at the amount of women's roles that involve sex.

The audience knows new lovers have a lot of sex, or, two people start passionately kissing might end up in bed, we can fill in those bits perfectly well using that quaint old thing, our imagination.

The audience knows people take showers and have bowel movements as well. We don't need to see stuff that adds nothing to the plot. It's purely for titillation.

[U2HasTheEdge]

I agree OP.


I must be a prude, but when I am watching TV I don't want to see half naked people (usually topless women you see) pretending to have sex. Or a random shower scene of a woman washing, which adds nothing to the story line.

[Notcontent]

I agree! Was just having this conversation with my nearly 15 year old DD. We are a very liberal family and not at all prudish. Dd and I watched Sex Education together and while that was a bit full on in parts, anything to do with sex was part of the storyline.

But now watching Bridgerton and the sex scenes just feel too long and gratuitous. We started fast forwarding them because it felt like watching porn.

[Mischance]

I think there is no problem with creating sex scenes that have a bit of subtlety about them - there is no need to get the full action - we know what they are off to do when they head for the bedroom/floor/back alley or wherever.

[Thehawki]

I was talking about this to my partner the other week. I skip through the scenes when I’m on my own sometimes because they’re just boring and add nothing. It’s not even a generation thing because I’m probably target market (23). I also suggested that they do a rated 12 version because a lot of the times you could just imply the sex and it wouldn’t detract from anything. I guess other people must enjoy it though because the shows are popular!

[User133847]

But now watching Bridgerton and the sex scenes just feel too long and gratuitous. We started fast forwarding them because it felt like watching porn.

There's something really creepy and wrong about it when people are watching these shows as a family.

In the days before Neftlix there was 'the watershed'. You knew if you got past 9-10pm something on the telly might have gratuitous sex/violence/bad language etc. Before that time it was safe and you'd also get a warning before the start of the show.

Now children/adults/families are binge watching series through the day which contain all these things every episode. It's just wrong.

Shows like GOT would be certified 18 in films. Kids wouldn't be able to get into the cinema to watch them.

[Moonmelodies]

It's not like you actually see it going in.

[Coffeeandcocopops]

@Ivebeeninlockdowntoolong

I agree OP. I think sex scenes are unnecessary and gratuitous when directors could hint/imply these instead. If I want to watch sex on screen I'd rather view porn as it's specifically produced for this purpose.

What disturbs me more is the nature of the sex portrayed. Typical sex = get to fucking straight away, no foreplay, and the woman somehow comes just like that. It's giving a bad message that women don't need any caring or loving before the act and they can just be fucked liked machines. No wonder some men believe that a wham bam, thank you ma'am approach to sex is all that's needed.

Yes exactly my point. No foreplay, no effort by the man at all and the woman has the best orgasm possible. What’s that saying to teenagers who watch this stuff.

I had enough of that stuff in the 80s where women were portrayed as sex objects ie James Bond but really it’s not much better now but we do see women enjoying supposedly enjoying sex when really I sit there thinking that’s never happened to me at the back of the pub in the mud.