To think there’s too much sex on tv/netflix

[WiganNorthWest]

Shows that I would otherwise enjoy watching with my teenagers/other family always seem to have graphic and gratuitous very long sex scenes. I don’t think they add anything to the plot and ruin our experience of watching as a family (makes me and my teenagers uncomfortable-and I think we are fairly close/informal usually).
I’m thinking of game of thrones, Bridgerton, normal people and outlander which show a lot of sex and a lot of it is disturbing/rape. Does anyone actually enjoy watching these scenes/think they enhance shows? I wish there were ‘clean’ rated 12 versions of these shows on Netflix and you could chose which one to watch. I did enjoy sex education, and think this was done a bit more intelligently/sex scenes weren’t just there for the sake of it/a lazy way to attract viewers but were necessary for the plot.
AIBU/ a prude?

[Coffeeandcocopops]

@Moonmelodies

It's not like you actually see it going in.

I think you are trying to take this thread to a different level.

[skirk64]

I heartily recommend watching the legitimate-available-in-HMV 9 Songs and Shortbus if you think the scenes in Game of Thrones or Bridgerton are uncomfortable viewing - they might change your perception of how graphic sex scenes on television are.

If you don't want to watch sex scenes, then turn on the parental lock on your streaming service and don't watch TV after 9pm. It's quite easy to find PG or 12 rated programming.

I think the suggestion Netflix should make 12 rated versions to go alongside the 18 rated ones is ridiculous. May as well suggest remaking Trainspotting without any reference to heroin because it's a harmful drug. If sex, nudity, drugs and violence are part of the story, then leave them in. Either they are necessary to the plot and tastefully done, in which case either watch the programme as the creators intended or switch off, or they are gratuitous or exploitative, in which case just switch off.

It's also the parent's responsibility to ensure that whatever they watch with their children is actually suitable for someone of that age. It's not the responsibility of programme makers to ensure that everything they create is either a U or a PG.

[SelkieQualia]

Well, Game of Thrones and Outlander are both notorious for sexual violence, so you've picked a pretty odd sample. I do hate that the GOT violence has become a fashionable way of upping the drama.

[GoLightlyontheEarth]

I agree with you OP. I’m not a prude, I am just so bored of endless gratuitous sex scenes . What I’ve also noticed lately is the number of crime dramas with more and more lurid plots.
Serial killers, rapists and Prostitution seem to be run of the mill, and the plots are getting more and more graphic. I think no one complains because they don’t want to be seen as too Mary Whitehouse. In fact nothing will change if people don’t complain.
We actually had a serious conversation about getting rid of the TV yesterday. The latest reality show about people having babies with strangers was the final straw.
I was really looking forward to Brigerton but it was obviously a vehicle for sexualised content we gave up. Our adult son wouldn’t watch it with us because of its risqué content.

[MarkRuffaloCrumble]

Totally agree OP. DP and I keep looking for new shows to watch and within 5 minutes - often less - there’s graphic and noisy humping. The DCs are young teens so still awake at 9.30 ish so we end up hurriedly switching off and having to wait until after they’ve gone up to bed to spare their (and our) blushes! And then it’s gone midnight before we can get to bed. It’s so annoying.

Ok we get it, this couple like each other, but we could get the general gist of that by them getting in to bed together and giving each other “the look” - we don’t actually need to witness them writhing around moaning loudly to understand what’s going on here. And this is in 15 rated shows. It seems that as long as there’s no actual penis on show it’s fair game to show naked people and graphic sex.

[DoubleTweenQueen]

I'm not a prude; I'm not into dogging either
I am currently binge watching all eight series of Spiral. I don't have NF, and it sounds dire.

[Kittykat93]

I agree with you op, and I'm far from a prude. The other thing is, and maybe there are exceptions, but why do all these sex scenes require beautiful young women with amazing bodies, where are all the normal looking women in these scenes?? People who are overweight, have rubbish frizzy hair, no make up on, etc. The men often see in these programmes look very average, but it's all focused on the woman looking sexy and it just feels like it's done for titillation..not because its integral to the story.

[dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby]

[quote User133847]@earringsandlipstick Watching people have full on sex on TV shows is a new phenomenon. How did shows survive before?

Stick on a porno on ffs and let the rest of us watch shows without all this rubbish.[/quote]
Agreed. Lengthy sex scenes are just so 'voyeuristic' and unnecessary.

[Hatethepatriarchy]

Yanbu but your examples of normal people and Bridgertons storylines are based around sex

[nosyupnorth]

if you don't want to watch sex scenes you can watch shows which don't have sex - there are plenty of them

the idea that just because something isn't to your personal taste it shouldn't exist is so self absorbed and weird

might as well say i don't like fight scenes/think violence is unsuitable for children so we should just get rid of all action movies

there are literally millions of shows out there so you can chose what you like, if we cut everything some people don't want to watch we'd all be staring at blank screens

[knittingaddict]

I agree op and it stops me watching programs that I would otherwise enjoy. I've read the Bridgerton books and they are quite steamy, but there's a big difference between reading it on the page and seeing people act it out on the screen. I watched the first episode, saw the comments online and can't bring myself to watch the rest. Same for Outlander, although the issues with that was more the rape scenes.

I started watching The Boys on Amazon Prime and was quite shocked by it's content. I would say that it was aiming for a teenage audience and in the first episode there was a young woman being forced to give a man oral sex, voyeurism (man watching woman) and full frontal male nudity. Felt like a needed a shower after that.

On the other hand I thought Queen's Gambit was beautifully done. There was sex, but no graphic sex scenes or nudity. They conveyed the experience, good and bad, in other ways and I loved it.

I just think showing everything that happens is lazy and emotionally unintelligent film making.

[U2HasTheEdge]

@Kittykat93

I agree with you op, and I'm far from a prude. The other thing is, and maybe there are exceptions, but why do all these sex scenes require beautiful young women with amazing bodies, where are all the normal looking women in these scenes?? People who are overweight, have rubbish frizzy hair, no make up on, etc. The men often see in these programmes look very average, but it's all focused on the woman looking sexy and it just feels like it's done for titillation..not because its integral to the story.

It is clearly there for the male gaze. I was watching some film the other day where the woman went into the shower and you could see a lot of her breasts. It wasn't a part of the story, it was clearly put in for titillation and seemed out of place for the type of film it was.

I don't see many films where men jump in the shower to look all sexy for no reason at all. And yes, men are usually average looking and women are all very beautiful.

[Allmyfavouritepeople]

Not sure if anyone's mentioned this already (NRTFT) but I find the difference between my DD and DS netflix accounts really interesting. They are both young teens so can't watch anything higher than a 12. For DS there is very little kissing let alone sex. He watches lots of films with Dwayne Johnson in and although there's often a hint of a romantic storyline there is no kiss at the end of the film.
For DD despite being the same age rating her algorithms offer lots of implied sex and partial nudity. I'd prefer a balance between the two!

[IDreamOfLogCabins]

Not directly related to the OP, but I agree with you @NiceGerbil

I suddenly realised one day that a lot of the BBC and ITV 9pm dramas were about murder, often young women, often naked. Once I'd noticed it, I couldn't not see it, and thought why is this regular mainstream entertainment?!

[Acrasia]

I don’t necessarily disagree with you, but all four of your examples are adaptations of books that have a lot of sex scenes in. So I guess the question for the scriptwriters is whether you lose the essence of the story by cutting the sex.

I’ve not watched Normal People, but one of the things I liked about the book was how Rooney can write sex so erotically but without being overly explicit.

[pandarific]

Well, a central theme of Bridgerton is fucking and orgasms, so if you didn’t want to watch that, then er... can’t really help you there!

[HasaDigaEebowai]

I'm only halfway through Outlander, does anyone besides Jaime get raped

Without spoiling anything pretty much everyone - but it is part of the storyline and necessary.

We were watching Man in the High Castle yesterday. Fantastic series and my teen kids (14 and 16) have loved it and its sparked some really interesting conversations with them. But this week, 4 seasons in, there was suddenly a fairly fully on hard shagging sex scene. Completely gratuitous and not relevant to the plot at all (couple were married, we know they have sex). DS2 was really uncomfortable and hid behind a pillow. It's like every series feels the need to throw it in.

[HasaDigaEebowai]

And yes I know its a 15 and DS2 is only 14 but in all other respects its fine for him.

[jessstan2]

@pandarific

Well, a central theme of Bridgerton is fucking and orgasms, so if you didn’t want to watch that, then er... can’t really help you there!

I thought there was a lot more to Bridgerton than that.

[Norwaydidnthappen]

Totally agree. I really don’t think it’s necessary at all. I enjoyed watching stranger things with my eldest DC because it had virtually no sexual scenes at all. A couple of things were close to the bone but no real nudity and definitely no full on sex.

There’s just no need for it really, it obviously sells though so they keep doing it. It actually puts me off a tv series if there’s lots of unnecessary nudity and sex scenes. They often don’t even add anything to the storyline at all, it’s just added in there for fun.

[Whatisthisfuckery]

I’m a lesbian and the endless heterosexual shagging really puts me off, in a nausea kind of way. I mean, they can do what they want in their own bedrooms, I just don’t want it rammed down my bloody throat every time I turn on the telly.

[User133847]

@nosyupnorth

if you don't want to watch sex scenes you can watch shows which don't have sex - there are plenty of them

the idea that just because something isn't to your personal taste it shouldn't exist is so self absorbed and weird

might as well say i don't like fight scenes/think violence is unsuitable for children so we should just get rid of all action movies

there are literally millions of shows out there so you can chose what you like, if we cut everything some people don't want to watch we'd all be staring at blank screens

But if you want to watch people have sex there's plenty of avenues to enjoy that. Why does it need to be in a TV show? Unless the show is specifically about sex.

[WiganNorthWest]

I guess if it’s an important part of the books then it should be included. But I do think that a few seconds/limited nudity would be enough to get the point across, and that many sex scenes are too long and explicit-I don’t know if people would really miss these scenes if they weren’t there. I think books are a bit different, because it’s all in your imagination and reading is something you do alone. No one would read a sex scene from a book out loud in their living room and no actors have to act it out. Also agree that watching these kind of shows on trains is awkward. While there are thousands of shows out there, explicit sex is very common, and seems to be in nearly every ‘trending’ show on Netflix/popular shows that my teens watch so it can be a struggle to find good shows to watch together, which is a shame.

[GoLightlyontheEarth]

Then there is Naked Attraction...

[WiganNorthWest]

Naked Attraction doesn’t bother me so much because the nudity is clearly the only point of the show-no one is watching for the drama. We wouldn’t sit as a family and watch naked attraction (although did watch it a bit with one of the teens and it was much less awkward than long loud moaning sex scenes). It annoys me that when there are other reasons to watch a show-good drama, plot etc the experience is ruined for me by all the sex which doesn’t add to the plot imo