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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS is owed money. AIBU to increase the pressure?

173 replies

supersop60 · 23/03/2021 23:02

My DS, now 17, is owed some money by a (former) friend.
The girl has made excuses for TWO Years why she can't return it to him, and after having promised, yet again, she would return it last Monday, it didn't appear.
I wrote to the parents, and after a week I got an email back saying they would bring the money to our house this evening. It's 11pm, and there's no sign.
WIBU to go to the house and demand it? (the email actually said if I had knocked on the door, they would have given it to me there and then)
It's £50, and the girl has acknowledged that she needs to return it.

OP posts:
Smokeahontas · 23/03/2021 23:04

Probably not at this hour, to be honest, but during the day or early evening.

MabelPines · 23/03/2021 23:04

Honestly I think I would let him chalk this up to experience- a hard lesson but a valuable one: never lend more than you can afford to give away.

Original poster
supersop60 · 23/03/2021 23:10

He didn't lend it to her. It was after a French trip at school and it was a refund (supposedly to the parents). DS didn't have his wallet so the girl said she's look after it for him and give it back to him at school. Absolutely NOT a loan.

OP posts:
Original poster
supersop60 · 23/03/2021 23:12

So technically, it's my money.

OP posts:
Berthatydfil · 23/03/2021 23:13

She is a thief then isn’t she ??

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 23/03/2021 23:14

A 15 year old stole some money from your DS. It's not a great situation, but she's clearly not giving it back and her parents don't care either. When someone has that much of a brass neck, you need to choose to stop rubbing it. Sorry.

Original poster
supersop60 · 23/03/2021 23:16

@HoldontoOneMoreDay

A 15 year old stole some money from your DS. It's not a great situation, but she's clearly not giving it back and her parents don't care either. When someone has that much of a brass neck, you need to choose to stop rubbing it. Sorry.
Why should she get away with it?
OP posts:
Bunnybigears · 23/03/2021 23:17

Honestly as much as I hate people getting away with this shit its not worth it.

m00rfarm · 23/03/2021 23:21

I would definitely follow up. She’s stolen the money. It was neither a loan nor a gift.

MrsGogolsGumbo · 23/03/2021 23:21

She shouldn't get away with it OP, go to the parents tomorrow and if they won't give it back tell them you'll pass the matter to the police as it is clearly theft.

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 23/03/2021 23:21

I'd go round tomorrow with a big smile waiting for them to hand over the money like they said they would if you knocked on the door....

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 23/03/2021 23:37

Because she has got away with it. She's not going to pay. And if her parents were they type to take it seriously, then they would have shot round with the money and an apology first thing this morning (I know I would have, only stopping to purchase the rocket for my DCs arse on the way).

The only other option is the police and I can't see that they'll do anything. But obviously give 101 a call and see.

I know it's frustrating and infuriating and all that, I do get it, but 'God grant me the serenity' and all that.

Daisy8181 · 23/03/2021 23:39

Cannot believe some people are implying you just let it go. Absolutely not.

I agree with you OP. Keep chasing it up.

A tenner I’d be letting go, but £50 is actually a large amount of money.

Theft is theft.

Butchyrestingface · 23/03/2021 23:44

If you've/your son been chasing this for TWO (!) years, what makes you think she (or her parents) are gonna front up the money NOW??

FireflyRainbow · 23/03/2021 23:44

She's a little thief. I'd be mortified if I was her mum. Maybe they are genuinely short of cash and panicking.

WonkyCactus · 23/03/2021 23:47

It's a lot of money, yes, but I don't think you'll get it back now. You should have got her parents involved about 22 months ago.

Teardrop2021 · 23/03/2021 23:49

Why didn't you get back at the time not 2 years later?

Sparklfairy · 23/03/2021 23:51

@FireflyRainbow

She's a little thief. I'd be mortified if I was her mum. Maybe they are genuinely short of cash and panicking.
Who cares? Show up (tomorrow, they'll have an excuse not to answer now). I'd be round every day, knocking, bug her publically (oh are you here to repay the money you owe me?) forever because I HATE thieves.

Its £50. Are they really going to call the police on you for harassment when the reason is their theft?

MadMadMadamMim · 23/03/2021 23:56

A French trip at school handed back £50 per student in cash as a refund at the end???

I have never, ever known that happen. Any refund is given by cheque or Parentmail account. How on earth would a teacher have that amount of cash (sterling) on them after a school trip?

ViciousJackdaw · 24/03/2021 00:00

How about a Letter Before Action? Of course, you don't actually have to take any action.

RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 24/03/2021 00:02

@MadMadMadamMim

A French trip at school handed back £50 per student in cash as a refund at the end???

I have never, ever known that happen. Any refund is given by cheque or Parentmail account. How on earth would a teacher have that amount of cash (sterling) on them after a school trip?

Interesting.

Good point. Most schools have been "cashless" for a good while now

Cocopogo · 24/03/2021 00:07

This is weird. Surely you would have emailed the school at the time to deal with it.

wusbanker · 24/03/2021 00:19

Go round tomorrow and ask for it, as they have practically invited you to.

WisnaeMe · 24/03/2021 00:38

Get it back, ignore the comments suggesting forget about it, its rewarding theft. 🌺

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 24/03/2021 00:54

I’d definitely go round and say as calmly as possible that the girl has kept £50 that was not hers, and you want it back now, please.

We had to do this when a dd who was only about 15 sold something to a neighbour’s son for £60 - much cheaper than new - and he didn’t pay. The boy’s mother had actually had the nerve to tell dd that it was her own fault for letting him have it without getting the money first - what did she expect?!

They did very grumpily pay up.