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DS is owed money. AIBU to increase the pressure?

173 replies

supersop60 · 23/03/2021 23:02

My DS, now 17, is owed some money by a (former) friend.
The girl has made excuses for TWO Years why she can't return it to him, and after having promised, yet again, she would return it last Monday, it didn't appear.
I wrote to the parents, and after a week I got an email back saying they would bring the money to our house this evening. It's 11pm, and there's no sign.
WIBU to go to the house and demand it? (the email actually said if I had knocked on the door, they would have given it to me there and then)
It's £50, and the girl has acknowledged that she needs to return it.

OP posts:
Tuliptulip · 24/03/2021 00:54


This is weird. Surely you would have emailed the school at the time to deal with it.

This ^^
EarringsandLipstick · 24/03/2021 00:55


He didn't lend it to her. It was after a French trip at school and it was a refund (supposedly to the parents). DS didn't have his wallet so the girl said she's look after it for him and give it back to him at school. Absolutely NOT a loan.

There are some mad mad threads on MN tonight.

Of course you don't go around demanding it.

When this happened - two years ago - you should have followed up with the school.

That sounds really odd - the school gave back cash to the kids?!

I also don't understand about a wallet? He could have put it in a pocket or similar?

After that, if it happened as you describe, the time for action was at the time. If it wasn't possible to get it back then, I think you need to let it go.
MarieDelaere · 24/03/2021 01:06

Cash handouts in 2019 from a school trip. No wallet. No follow up then. Bewildering narrative. Ring 101. Letter before action.

If you do pursue this it would be a Letter before Claim with a 14 day response period, and you'd need evidence from a debtor of legal age.

Shnuffles · 24/03/2021 01:59

I wouldn't let it go. It's your money. Everyone involved knows this and has acknowledged it. I'd contact them again tomorrow (or the next convenient day) and go to get it from them, since they evidently can't be relied upon to deliver it.

1forAll74 · 24/03/2021 02:05

Why do you have to be involved in this, your Son is old enough to sort it out himself.

WisnaeMe · 24/03/2021 02:43


Why do you have to be involved in this, your Son is old enough to sort it out himself.

It's OP's refunded money from a ski-ing trip, the lass was only looking after it til they got home.
IHaveBrilloHair · 24/03/2021 02:46

It's shit, but its been two years, seriously, let it go.

caringcarer · 24/03/2021 03:06

Email.psrents and day unless you receive money by X date you will be forced to go to small claims court and then there will be costs incurred as well. Point out this will affect credit rating. If money.not paid do it OP. It is not fair your son has had this worry for 2 years.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 24/03/2021 03:14

I think you can address this tomorrow (it's already tomorrow from your perspective, albeit 3am!) - just go round again and knock on the door, say you're sorry you missed them last night and could you please have that £50 now.

pasturesgreen · 24/03/2021 03:15

I'm in the let it go camp. It was two years ago, you aren't going to see your money again.

FearlessSwiftie · 24/03/2021 04:29

I wouldn't let her get away with it, it's basically slealing.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 24/03/2021 04:34

Two years??? What’s been debated for 2years? Cash from a teacher?
Such a weird story

FortunesFave · 24/03/2021 05:08

It's not DS who is owed money but YOU. It was your money and by the sound of it, you've handled it badly.

FortunesFave · 24/03/2021 05:12

When this happened - two years ago - you should have followed up with the school.


JeffTheOracle · 24/03/2021 05:24

Can't believe people think this is a police matter. Personally I'd chalk it up to experience for your DS and stop wasting energy trying to get it back - the time was at the time, not now and it's only £50. Is it worth all this for £50?

pilates · 24/03/2021 05:53

Yes I would be knocking on the door today.

Nitpickpicnic · 24/03/2021 06:04

I’d send a text saying you’d like to keep the matter out of the hands of the school, but that girl is leaving you with little choice. Give a PayPal address and a date.

They may not want to risk family reputational damage. Might be one of the only realistic levers you can use to pressure them, after all this time.

If they don’t need to face you at the door, they may be more likely to cough up.

WaitingForNormality · 24/03/2021 06:07

Also in the let it go camp - it's not right but it's been two years. I still don't get why your DS let her "look after it"? Why couldn't he??

justanotherneighinparadise · 24/03/2021 06:12

Well at least you have the acknowledgement via written communication that the money is owed and the amount is outstanding.

Don’t let it go. Become an absolute pain in their side about it. I can’t remember how much a small claims court claim is to register? Might be worth checking, I think if you win you get that fee back anyway.

fluffythedragonslayer · 24/03/2021 06:12

There must be more to this than either you or your DS is letting on. He didn't have a bag or a pocket for the money? They all got £50 given to them in cash, aged 15?
All sounds very odd. I agree with pp - why didn't you chase it with the school at the time?

RaginSpice · 24/03/2021 06:26

“ Point out this will affect credit rating.”

This is just simply not true.

mynameisjanice · 24/03/2021 06:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

rawlikesushi · 24/03/2021 06:32

I'd definitely be knocking on the door, none of this 'let it go' nonsense. Your boy is a mug for letting it go on for two years though.

Sally2791 · 24/03/2021 06:34

I wouldn’t be letting this go either. They have acknowledged that they owe you the money, I’d be going round to get it until it materialised.

Zevia · 24/03/2021 06:34

The time to take it seriously was two years ago. Let it go.

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