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DS is owed money. AIBU to increase the pressure?

173 replies

supersop60 · 23/03/2021 23:02

My DS, now 17, is owed some money by a (former) friend.
The girl has made excuses for TWO Years why she can't return it to him, and after having promised, yet again, she would return it last Monday, it didn't appear.
I wrote to the parents, and after a week I got an email back saying they would bring the money to our house this evening. It's 11pm, and there's no sign.
WIBU to go to the house and demand it? (the email actually said if I had knocked on the door, they would have given it to me there and then)
It's £50, and the girl has acknowledged that she needs to return it.

OP posts:
FoxgloveBee · 24/03/2021 10:55

Cross posted. Hope you get it back then.

Cadent · 24/03/2021 10:57

@supersop60 I think you'll get it back. (fingers crossed). I think they would have stopped replying to texts if they had no intention of paying it back. It's clear they hoped you'd give up though.

I think it shows DS a good lesson in perseverance!

supersop60 · 24/03/2021 10:58

It's also not really relevant, but the girl's family live in a house that is worth 3 times what ours is, and had 6 cars in their drive when I delivered the original letter.
I don't think they're short of cash.
It's the principle.
Also - they didn't know about this until I sent the letter.

OP posts:
Cookies47 · 24/03/2021 10:59

I think the actual issue here is that you left it for 2 years.

How bizarre.

supersop60 · 24/03/2021 11:01


I think the actual issue here is that you left it for 2 years.

How bizarre.

See my post.
DS wanted to handle it himself, and was getting annoyed that he couldn't.
OP posts:
Spied · 24/03/2021 11:01

I don't think they'll answer the door.

Cookies47 · 24/03/2021 11:02

For 2 years? He's your child, you could have taken ownership of this 21 months ago?

Cadent · 24/03/2021 11:03

Something similar happened to me OP. My friend’s parents were literally millionaires and she owed me £200 and it took me weeks to get it back.

The only thing that worked was me turning up at her door and demanding it back in person.

20 years later I’m glad I persevered, because it was the principle, she knew I wasn’t well off. Her parents bought her a £20k car around the same time. I think it gave her a sense of control.

She often asks mutual friends about me now. She killed a friendship for £200.

supersop60 · 24/03/2021 11:09


For 2 years? He's your child, you could have taken ownership of this 21 months ago?

DS didn't want me to. I have already said this.
OP posts:
diddl · 24/03/2021 11:12

"I offered to get involved early on, but he didn't want me to."

Not his money, not his decision.

PineappleCat · 24/03/2021 11:14

I would say "no that's fine, I'll come to yours and collect it this evening." And then go stand outside their house and refuse to leave until it's paid in full.
If they didn't turn up last night, they won't turn up tonight. It's been two years OP wise up.

hamstersarse · 24/03/2021 11:15

This all sounds very odd

I am not sure I believe your DS's story.

Lolwhat · 24/03/2021 11:18

Just let it go

2bazookas · 24/03/2021 11:26

He's 17. He can go round to the parents house , knock on the door and politely ask for his money.

He's learned a lesson about lending money/ trusting people and the resolution is in his own hands. You're not doing him any favours by stepping in / helicoptering. It might make you feel better, but it's much more important to let a young adult feel empowered to sort out their own problems.

Roszie · 24/03/2021 11:53

Has she recently dumped him? Why wait two years?

supersop60 · 24/03/2021 12:13

He/we haven't waited for two years. He's been asking and being fobbed off for two years.

OP posts:
ChronicallyCurious · 24/03/2021 12:19

How odd

Cookies47 · 24/03/2021 12:22

Sometimes, you're just supposed to be the parent Confused

Cadent · 24/03/2021 12:23


Sometimes, you're just supposed to be the parent Confused

Sometimes there’s a bloody pandemic. Give OP a break.
loobylou10 · 24/03/2021 12:23

Why is the OP getting grief for this? Typical Mumsnet blaming her - OP I'd give 1 more chance tonight then call round tomorrow and keep calling round until they pay you. Good luck!

Cookies47 · 24/03/2021 12:30

There hasn't been a pandemic for 2 years!

SmeleanorSmellstrop · 24/03/2021 12:48

Its a bit awkward after two years. I'd leave it now.

Nishky · 24/03/2021 13:29

I cannot believe people saying leave it, if the keeper was your child, would you be saying ‘ well done you fobbed him off for 2 years’

Talk about a moral vacuum

CatsHairEverywhere · 24/03/2021 16:27

But you let him be fobbed off for 2 years. I understand giving him a month to get it back by himself, but 2 years?!?

CatsHairEverywhere · 24/03/2021 16:29

@loobylou10 because of the time length. I don’t understand people telling her to leave it, but I do understand the disbelief that the OP allowed her son to be fobbed off for 2 years before getting involved.

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