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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My cat just had a shit in my fire.

392 replies

LAgeDeRaisin · 23/03/2021 15:20

So I've just got my 1 year old to nap, I've got horrible all day morning sickness, and it's my day off work today. I'm exhausted.

I decided to go to bed for a nap with the baby monitor and was nearly asleep when I hear this scraping noise from across the room.

The cat had managed to open the bedroom door, come in, and was digging around in the ash at the bottom of the fireplace to have a shit. I tried to pick him up but he was mid squat and it was midway out. He then became outraged and ran out traipsing soot all over the carpet. He is 9 years old with no health problems.

AIBU that he is a massive arsehole? He has a catflap which he has free access to and always goes outside. He 100% did this to spite me because I wanted 30 minutes to myself in bed.

Stories of your own arsehole pets requested please; it may help me feel better.

OP posts:
PandorasMailbox · 23/03/2021 16:42

@namechangefordignity

Bury it.
That's a bit harsh.
MyPantsAreInsideOut · 23/03/2021 16:42

We used to have a split staircase with a little landing in the middle. In the corner there was a large plant pot with a large cheese plant in it. We had a pure black cat. You would regularly walk up the first half of the stairs to come eye level with a pair of yellow eyes staring at you like you were intruding as she was hiding in between the stalks balanced on the edge of the pot taking a shit.

IHaveBrilloHair · 23/03/2021 16:42

One of my cats decided another one couldn't get on my bed so they had a big scrap over it, at 3am when I was asleep in said bed.
One vommed on the duvet when I was under it and another likes to piss in the living room corners.
Why I have three of the fucking wee shites, I have no ideaConfused

Hobbesmanc · 23/03/2021 16:42

Fireplaces are an attractive dusty litter tray. Dirty protests is obviously a great way for cats to communicate a bad mood.

A couple of Christmas days ago, we were all gathered in the lounge around the fireplace late morning. Bucks fizz being consumed, adults gifts being exchanged when one of our boys squatted and pooed on the hearth. For no reason- he could have easily gone outside.

Another cat pissed all over my M-in L as she slept years ago. I did kind of understand that one

HarrietOh · 23/03/2021 16:42

My cat has on odd occasion done a poo in the bath! I also once had a cardboard box in my dining room ready to be disposed of in next recycling collection... came home and noticed ammonia smell, changed litter tray, could still smell it. Yep, she'd been pissing in the box.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 23/03/2021 16:43

We've only ever had one cat. Towards the end of her life she got a bit odd and would only settle to sleep in one particular cupboard in the kitchen so I rearranged everything so she could use it. Then she took to pooing in the toaster. In the course of a week I replaced the toaster three times. Then I made room in a cupboard to keep the toaster in it instead of on the side where it belonged.

DrSbaitso · 23/03/2021 16:44

Cats are arseholes.

Cattenberg · 23/03/2021 16:50

I remember a day when the baby would not stop crying. Eventually she paused for breath. I then heard the cat throwing up on the carpet.

The same cat had to stay indoors after an operation, but disliked using his litter tray and rarely did. We eventually caught him peeing down the plug hole in the bath. I was actually quite impressed by his initiative. He left no evidence behind.

DickKerrLadies · 23/03/2021 16:50

I think this might just be my favourite thread of the year so far.

I'm not sure I want a cat any more though.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/03/2021 16:51

Yuck, poor you. The smell is unbelievable.
Our cat once crapped in a dd’s knicker drawer.
It was a couple of hours before I could face it. God knows why he did it, never did it before or since.

Fluffyandsilly · 23/03/2021 16:51

I was just thinking how well behaved my furry fuhrer is in comparison to to some of these. Then I remembered that my cat has ripped a couple of holes in my duvet cover this week whilst playing on it (very small holes but still).
And this morning he chose to vom on the living room rug, despite the entire rest of the floor being easy to clean laminate.

I am rather house proud and my husband is almost incredulous with what the cat can get away with compared to him haha Grin

MyPantsAreInsideOut · 23/03/2021 16:51

Then there was my beautiful cute fluffy tiny dog.

She used to sleep with a teddy in her bed.

Ahhh, sweet.

Until...

She took a liking to carrying it into the middle of the living room and humping it too death at great speed in front of guests.

Some say it was impacted anal glands, I think she didn't like Aunty Cats Bum Face Prude.

Everythingiswonderful · 23/03/2021 16:52

@Lantanacamara lily of the valley is poisonous to cats!
www.countrylife.co.uk/out-and-about/dogs/common-garden-plants-deadly-dogs-cats-eat-one-175931
All Lily flowers are
www.cats.org.uk/help-and-advice/home-and-environment/dangerous-plants
@LAgeDeRaisin
bet you wish you had let just let him go in the ash Envy

@Teenagerwillbethedeathofme so sorry, there is a memorial thread if you would like to add a picture and something about him.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray/3965838-The-Litter-Tray-Memorial-Thread?msgid=105503500

LunaNorth · 23/03/2021 16:52

@amatsip

My 12 year old dog chomped on his penis till he made it bleed, he was on my bed and with the shock of the blood he ran and hid on my pillow, my nice expensive brand new pillow....
To be fair, you would, wouldn’t you? If you could.
polkadotpixie · 23/03/2021 16:53

My sister's cat took a shit ON my BIL whilst he was asleep 😂

1DoesNotSimplyWalkIntoMordor · 23/03/2021 16:54

We couldn't get the brand of litter that we normally buy and our dear cat decided that she didn't like what we had bought, not wanting to pee on the floor she decided that my wok would make an excellent alternative litter tray and she even managed to cover the wok with an A4 sized invoice that was next to it.

iloveeverykindofcat · 23/03/2021 16:56

@1DoesNotSimplyWalkIntoMordor

We couldn't get the brand of litter that we normally buy and our dear cat decided that she didn't like what we had bought, not wanting to pee on the floor she decided that my wok would make an excellent alternative litter tray and she even managed to cover the wok with an A4 sized invoice that was next to it.
Oh God they always do this. The one without the dislocated wrist dropped a towel in the litter tray when she'd finished the other day. For extra neatness, I guess.

I don't have that towel anymore.

justthecat · 23/03/2021 17:01

My cat was sick on the stair carpet, I discovered it in the morning as I came down the stairs in bare feet

Dramallamabanana · 23/03/2021 17:01

My dog once ate my baby's poo out of her nappy. I hadn't realised she'd done such a mega poo explosion so was ill prepared (hadn't already got the wipes/nappy bag out). I had to keep hold of her legs so as to not to get it all over her clothes/changing mat, so was trying to do everything one handed. I carefully removed the soiled nappy and laid it on the floor to bag up once I'd cleaned her up. A minute later I heard a lapping sound and realised the dog had snuck into the room and was eating baby poo from the nappy! Absolutely grim!

He was sick about half an hour later as well to make it even worse! I do love him but he is a grim creature

Slothkin · 23/03/2021 17:02

When I was doing my finals my cat would cry outside my study, throw himself against the door then go off to destroy anything within reach. He then had a shit in the bath. I was devastated - obviously I was an absolutely terrible cat owner to have traumatised him so much. My Mum suggested I give him a treat if I needed to focus and the little sod was quiet as a mouse therafter as long as he got his tuna. Manipulative little git.

Sobeyondthehills · 23/03/2021 17:05

One of my cats took on a car, we are still not sure who came out worse, however he did lose a leg.

Since then, when he wants something he puts on more of a limp, where we use to live there was a disabled space, he would lie in it and refuse to move

AmandaHugenkiss · 23/03/2021 17:06

Dickhead cat in our household uses his litter tray religiously for neat little cat poos, EXCEPT when he has diarrhoea and chooses to shit under the dining table on the only carpet in the house and then walk it through to the couch and wipe it all over there.

justlonelystars · 23/03/2021 17:07

My kitten is very very attached to me. Rather than go to the litter tray and be forced to leave my side for 30 whole seconds, she will wee directly on me. I have got very good at recognising when she is about to do this and quickly put her in the litter tray.
Cats are absolute buttheads.

Norwaydidnthappen · 23/03/2021 17:09

Cats are dicks.

Beeziekn33ze · 23/03/2021 17:09

I’ve thought for a year that I was deprived and needed a furry Covid Companion. Several of you have reassured me that I was right not to get one!
Best LOLs I’ve had for a while too! I do love both cats and dogs.