My cat just had a shit in my fire.

[LAgeDeRaisin]

So I've just got my 1 year old to nap, I've got horrible all day morning sickness, and it's my day off work today. I'm exhausted.

I decided to go to bed for a nap with the baby monitor and was nearly asleep when I hear this scraping noise from across the room.

The cat had managed to open the bedroom door, come in, and was digging around in the ash at the bottom of the fireplace to have a shit. I tried to pick him up but he was mid squat and it was midway out. He then became outraged and ran out traipsing soot all over the carpet. He is 9 years old with no health problems.

AIBU that he is a massive arsehole? He has a catflap which he has free access to and always goes outside. He 100% did this to spite me because I wanted 30 minutes to myself in bed.

Stories of your own arsehole pets requested please; it may help me feel better.

So our cat is an outdoor cat but as she's getting a bit older I bought her a litter tray in the autumn so she could stay in overnight when it was really cold. Bear in mind she almost always pooped and peed outside apart from when taken short in an emergency.
So I quickly demonstrated how to use it for her (I just did the actions, like, I didn't actually shit). I was pleased that she seemed to get the hang of it straight away.
So now it's warmer, she off out overnight again.
Comes in in the morning after a night out, goes straight to the tray and loops. She just does it so I have to clean up after her and the boys who make noise and annoy her gag.

Prolly a toad. They have a defence mechanism. I saw foam over my cat’s face like that. She had been bothering the garden toad. Doesn’t last long though thank goodness.

My old cat took to leaving rodents liver amongst the baby’s toys, I don’t care if it was a ‘gift’ I was not pleased and did object, she didn’t care. She also looked unnervingly like hitler (fringe and tache).
Current cat darts out from hidden corners whenever you let your guard down to attack feet and ankles. Cats are bellends.

Yum.

Anyone looking at their cat differently today?

I used to see a fairly daft animal who vomits every now and then.

I now see an unexploded bomb. She could turn at any moment. At any change in the fabric softener.

She might start shitting in my toaster.

My cat threw up in my shoe and I didn’t realise until I put it on.

My cat killed a rabbit, brought it in and house and laid it outside my bedroom door for me to tread of barefoot one morning.

Yep cats are pretty disgusting really. No use or ornament to most people. Kill birds and other small creatures or torment them to death.

Houses with cats tend to have that 'funny smell' ... never had one, but do they squirt everywhere?

@SpringTimeDream

Yep cats are pretty disgusting really. No use or ornament to most people. Kill birds and other small creatures or torment them to death.

Houses with cats tend to have that 'funny smell' ... never had one, but do they squirt everywhere?

No.

Not a cat but my dog did a sloppy diarrhea shit on the carpet today!! I'm not an animal lover, I accepted having a dog to make my husband childrens lives so happy whilst I sit here grossed out and my house gets ruined for the next 8yrs

I bought a new bed, April 8th last year, super King size, memory foam mattress, tempur pillows, the works... went out April 10th and came home to find a huge wet patch in the middle of the bed, window had been left ajar... we had no pets so I can only assume the neighbours cat came in the bedroom window and p*** all over my two day old bed! it was definitely cat pee... you can just tell by the smell... 🙈

My little shit shits in the bath most days. My bath is 2 years old and ruined. Scratched to bits. I would NEVER take a bath. Showers all the way for me.

Leave a couple of inches of water in it @Jeeperscreepers69. That’ll fox them.

Disclaimer; I take no responsibility for where your cat will poo when the baths out of action.

@Fluffycloudland77. That sounds like awful cruel fun. My little dave will jump 6ft in the air. Off to put a dash of water in the old tub right now 💦thanks 😉

My MIL's cat shit in my FIL's hat

My cat marked my laptop case. I angrily send him away to clean it. 10 minutes later he returned to mark me.

12 years later he still thinks I’m his property and is practically glued to my ankles.

In an unrelated occasion though, the same bloody cat thought he’d jump out of a window. That was closed. With the blind down.

@Fruitloopcowabunga. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 The cat that shit in the hat 🎩🎩🎩

Ours only pissed on dhs side of the bed!.

I was dying to say it was on the mat ...

@Jeeperscreepers69 surely the cat shat in the hat? Past tense. No?

@CongealedCrags

Cats, generally, do not do "grudge" shits.

I had one that revelled in grudge shits. The worst was when we had a new boiler so no heating for 48 hours plus workman all over the house and coming in and out of the front door - she started to shit on the doormat and he created what can only be described as a shit rainbow as he opened the door. He was also stupid and it happened 3-4 times during the two days he was in the house.

Absolutely. As well as my poo on the pillow story (I put her out for a while and would not let her in, she never did it again) my parents had a cat which would decide if she liked their visitors or not. If she didnt care for them she would do a massive shit and stink the place up.

Yes the cat that shat in the hat 🎩👒🙀

My cat Luke decided to leave a massive poo on my dads bed whilst he was in it - dad had just come home from hospital. Welcome home pops!

I love the fact you called a cat Luke.