My cat just had a shit in my fire.

[LAgeDeRaisin]

So I've just got my 1 year old to nap, I've got horrible all day morning sickness, and it's my day off work today. I'm exhausted.

I decided to go to bed for a nap with the baby monitor and was nearly asleep when I hear this scraping noise from across the room.

The cat had managed to open the bedroom door, come in, and was digging around in the ash at the bottom of the fireplace to have a shit. I tried to pick him up but he was mid squat and it was midway out. He then became outraged and ran out traipsing soot all over the carpet. He is 9 years old with no health problems.

AIBU that he is a massive arsehole? He has a catflap which he has free access to and always goes outside. He 100% did this to spite me because I wanted 30 minutes to myself in bed.

Stories of your own arsehole pets requested please; it may help me feel better.

[frostymornings]

@inmyslippers

If we leave bath mats on the floor the cat uses them as a toilet. She's a dick

One of mine does this but with those soft absorbent doormats. We replaced them all with the scratchy ones and she hasn't done it since

[Subeccoo]

Real kicker was that this was in the middle of the night and his pissing was so loud it woke me up

[MyAnacondaMight]

All hard floors here apart from one rug in the sitting area. Guess where my cat always chooses to vomit?

Seriously though - suggest getting a litter tray for inside. Kitty may have had a territorial set back (rival cat, or foxes, or whatever) that means they no longer feel comfortable going to the toilet outside.

Alternatively, are there any disruptions indoors that may be causing upset? Mine gets very upset by items of furniture being moved. Feliway can be helpful in these scenarios, unless you’re willing to never change your surroundings in order to keep your cat happy...

[4cats2kids]

Mine never shits in his litter tray. There’s always a turd waiting for me on the carpet of my dining room in the exact same spot every morning. I don’t eat in there any more because it stinks of cat shit. I’ve tried moving the litter tray to his spot, but he just does it beside the tray! I’m putting Lino down soon!

[Originalyellowbelly]

One of my cats decided that one of my slippers was a suitable receptacle for his vomit.

[oldshoeuk]

Cats don't seem to like Zoom calls, people just shouldn't talk at their computers.

[Igowherethesasquatchlives]

I got up the other night at 3am to use the toilet. Put my feet in my slippers and thought they were wet and cold, the stripey fucker had puked in them. I had to clean up and wash my feet in the shower , by the time I got back to bed I was wide awake and couldnt get back to sleep. what a twat

[ViolentFern]

@inmyslippers

If we leave bath mats on the floor the cat uses them as a toilet. She's a dick

Ours does this too!

[YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan]

One of my dogs just likes to get in the way.

I changed the bed yesterday and was tucking the bottom sheet under the mattress, so he came and stood between me and the bed. This morning I was getting washed and he pushed his way in so he was standing between me and the sink. Lost count of the number of times I've stood on him when I'm cooking as he tries to get between me and the bench or cooker.

[wheresmymojo]

"He then became outraged and ran out traipsing soot all over the carpet."

I created a raised bed for vegetables. I did not want it to become a cat tray so assembled some poles at each corner with netting draped over. I looked the cat in the eye and told him that he was not to attempt to get under the netting.

Then I turned my back for 10 seconds...

The little fucker backed up and took a run directly at the netting so that I turned around to find him completely entangled in it and in the middle of the bloody vegetable bed.

[CockneyCutie]

Cleaned and tidied the spare room, lovely new rug, all good. Went for a bath.... sudden hideous eye-melting smell.... Beloved DDog had done a huge stinky turd on new rug😡😡
Just WHY??? All the doors open so could go outside if needed, house trained well (wakes me in night if she wants the toilet) just wtf??🤷‍♀️

[Igowherethesasquatchlives]

@Originalyellowbelly

One of my cats decided that one of my slippers was a suitable receptacle for his vomit.

have we got the same cat?

[viques]

I had a cat who used to crap in the bath. And always at the tap end, right over the plug hole so it was just a little bit nastier to clean.........

[amatsip]

My 12 year old dog chomped on his penis till he made it bleed, he was on my bed and with the shock of the blood he ran and hid on my pillow, my nice expensive brand new pillow....

[Lurleene]

I remember the Christmas we discovered the cat had been pissing on the presents under the tree.

[FannyFlapClap]

They're bampots aren't they? I woke up one morning to a cat shit in my bath - even though he has 3 big, clean, fresh litter trays at all times. I think it's a dirty protest at something. Have you upset him recently and now he is letting you know his contempt?

[Thecathouse]

My cat attacks my legs viciously every morning when I am trying to get downstairs, cat is the definition of arsehole

German shepherd sat on me (well the half of him that would fit) and refused to get off until the toddler have him a hug, then he cuddled up next to her like butter wouldn't melt so he knows he is a big lump and needs to be gentle

[plumplestiltskin]

My cat peed in a frying pan that was left on the side once.

[skodadoda]

@PrelovedWithValue

Bury it

The cat or the cat shit?

🤣

[oakleaffy]

Cats can and do shit in ash!
Out cat shat in a potted plant
Grim!

[Originalyellowbelly]

Igowherethesasquatchlives I think we must have!

[Smokemeakipper42]

At least he didn’t piss on your chips 😂

[Emeraldshamrock]

These stories are funny and reminding why I don't have pets only birds their poo is tiny and not smelly.

[DaphneBridgerton]

Didn't have to get up early for the first time in ages last weekend. My cat came in and pissed on the bed at 8am.

[Teenagerwillbethedeathofme]

My cat had to be PTS last summer, I’d give my right arm to have him here, shitting in the fireplace.